Pairing: Theodore Nott x Reader
Summary: Theo's perspective of the story "Everything He Isn't". This can be read without reading the first two parts but it will make more sense if the other parts are read first.
Warnings: Cheating, mentions of sex, nearly smut (no actual smut), implications of smut, very brief mentions of drug overdose, mentions of death, smoking, fluffy mushy slightly cliche ending. One use of L/N.
A/N: 4k+ words hehhehe. I love Theodore Nott. Requests are open!
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Theo felt Mattheo nudge him.
"Mate, you've been staring at her for fifteen bloody minutes. It's like you're trying to see through her."
Mattheo, Blaise, Pansy, Lorenzo, Draco, Theo-and you-were all walking to Hogsmeade.
"She's cold," Theo murmured, almost to himself.
"And Malfoy doesn't even notice. He's too busy talking Blaise's ear off."
"I'm going to give her my jacket."
Before Theo could take another step, Mattheo caught his arm.
"How would you feel if you saw another bloke giving his jacket to your girlfriend in front of everyone?"
Mattheo looked him dead in the eye.
"I get it. You're obsessed with her. You have been for years. But now isn't the time."
Theo huffed in frustration.
As much as he hated admitting it...
He watched as you gently squeezed Draco's hand.
Draco barely glanced at you before saying something Theo couldn't hear.
Then he laughed with Blaise.
"He doesn't deserve her."
He watched you quietly pull out your wand.
Your coat flew into your waiting hands.
"She shouldn't have had to do that herself."
"I mean, she's perfectly capable of doing it-but she shouldn't have had to."
"Merlin, calm your tits, knight in shining armour."
Theo ignored the comment.
The group stepped into the warmth of the Three Broomsticks.
Everyone ordered their usual drinks.
Then your eyes wandered toward the display case.
"Oh, I want one of those pastries."
You always had to have something sweet whenever you went out.
He watched Draco's face twist with mild disgust.
"The Muggle pastry? Really?"
How dare he make you feel embarrassed over something so insignificant?
Before Theo could say anything, you sighed.
"You know what? I'll just get it myself."
Draco rolled his eyes before finally standing.
"No. Stay here. I'll get it."
He and Mattheo headed towards the counter.
Theo's gaze never left you.
A few minutes later, Draco returned.
He placed a strawberry pastry in front of you before launching straight back into a story about his Christmas holidays.
Without hesitation, Theo reached across the table and swapped your plate with his own.
"He forgot you're allergic to strawberries, didn't he?"
He nudged the chocolate pastry towards you.
"We'd rather not make an emergency trip to Madam Pomfrey."
Theo's heart nearly stopped.
You glanced down at the pastry.
"I was craving chocolate anyway."
"You looked absolutely heartbroken last night when you missed dinner and didn't get one of your favourite chocolate tarts."
You let out an exaggerated sigh.
You folded your arms dramatically.
"Just because I missed dinner doesn't mean I should be denied dessert."
"Especially chocolate tarts."
"I'll save you one next time."
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Later that evening, Theo was sprawled across his bed.
Theo stared up at the ceiling.
"We should have a movie night."
"Don't tell me you're going to invite everyone to our dorm just so you can impress one girl."
"It'll look suspicious if I organise it."
"I could always tell everyone about your little Ravenclaw."
"Have you ever known me to make empty threats?"
Mattheo muttered something under his breath before rubbing his face.
Mattheo sighed dramatically.
Theo leaned back against the headboard, looking far too pleased with himself.
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That evening, Blaise threw another party.
Mainly because he wanted to get laid.
Theo leaned against the wall, lazily swirling the Firewhisky in his cup.
Mattheo was already across the room with the Ravenclaw he'd supposedly "wasn't interested in."
Draco was flirting with some girl near the drinks table.
You and Pansy still hadn't arrived.
Theo took another sip of Firewhisky.
The alcohol burned pleasantly down his throat.
He checked the door again.
Surely he could wait another few minutes...
Theo was halfway through another sip of Firewhisky when he heard your voice.
His head snapped towards the entrance.
The green dress hugged every curve perfectly, your makeup was elegant rather than overdone, and your hair framed your face beautifully.
Theo had to physically stop himself from marching over, throwing you over his shoulder, and carrying you straight back to his dorm.
Malfoy was one lucky bastard.
Then he heard Draco speak.
"What in the bloody hell did you do to yourself?"
Your smile disappeared instantly.
Draco's expression hardened.
"You seriously came wearing that?"
The room gradually fell silent as people turned to watch.
Theo saw your shoulders tense.
Draco glanced around before lowering his voice, though it was still loud enough for everyone nearby to hear.
"Could you have tried any harder than that?"
He turned to one of the boys standing beside him.
"Women. They try too hard. They don't understand that we don't want this fake makeup-doll version."
He watched the hurt spread across your face.
Your eyes shimmered with unshed tears.
"Malfoy," Theo said firmly, stepping forward. "Ease up. She's your girl."
Mattheo, who had wandered over after noticing the commotion, nodded.
"You don't go around insulting women. Especially your woman."
"Oh, relax. I didn't even say any-"
But you were already walking away.
Theo barely spared Draco another glance.
"God, Malfoy. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"What? She's been emotional all week. Besides, she looked cheap. Someone needed to point it out."
Cheap was the last word he'd ever use to describe you.
For one reckless moment, he wanted to punch Draco square in the face.
Instead, he turned and followed you.
The bathroom door was closed.
"Cara? Are you in there?"
He stepped inside after hearing no protest.
The sight in front of him shattered whatever composure he had left.
Mascara streaked your cheeks.
You looked utterly devastated.
Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around you.
You broke immediately, burying your face against his chest.
Theo held you as though you might fall apart if he let go.
"Draco is a bloody dimwit."
His hand slowly stroked your hair.
"He doesn't deserve your tears."
Your sobs gradually softened into hiccups.
His voice was barely above a whisper.
"He... he..." you choked out.
"God, he makes me so mad, Theo."
Theo gently lifted the strap of your dress back onto your shoulder.
His fingertips brushed your skin with almost painful care.
"I try so hard for him..."
"He doesn't deserve you."
He stepped closer until only inches separated you.
"He doesn't appreciate you, does he?"
"He doesn't appreciate true beauty when it's standing right in front of him."
Even with ruined makeup...
You were still the most beautiful person in the room.
His hand slid carefully into your hair.
"Let me make up for where he falls short, cara mia."
For one terrifying second, Theo thought he'd gone too far.
His brain stopped working.
He kissed you back instantly, but gently.
This wasn't about winning.
It was about letting you decide.
You tasted faintly of cherries... and the Firewhisky you'd barely touched.
When you finally pulled back for air, Theo couldn't stop himself.
He pressed soft kisses along your jaw before trailing them down your neck.
He silenced you with another kiss before gently grazing your neck with his teeth.
Theo had never wanted anyone this badly.
He kissed you once more before forcing himself to step back.
"I'll be waiting in my dorm tonight, cara."
His heart hammered against his ribs.
"I'll assume you don't want this."
His thumb brushed lightly over the mark already forming on your neck.
"And we'll never speak of it again."
He tilted your chin upwards.
A slow smile tugged at his lips.
"I promise it'll be worth your while."
He pressed one final kiss to your lips.
Then, before he lost every ounce of self-control he possessed...
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Theo's heartbeat thundered louder than the music.
He'd actually kissed you.
His best friend's girlfriend.
He couldn't bring himself to regret it.
Theo grabbed Mattheo by the sleeve, dragging him away from the Ravenclaw he'd been shamelessly flirting with all evening.
"Don't bring her back to our dorm tonight."
A grin spread across his face.
"You finally got a girl?"
Theo hesitated for half a second.
"Don't know..Some slytherin"
He clapped Theo on the shoulder.
"Condoms are in the top drawer."
As he walked back to the dormitory, nerves settled heavily in his stomach.
Or had he just destroyed your friendship over one reckless kiss?
Then stood staring into his wardrobe.
After several seconds of serious consideration, he decided against it.
Grey sweatpants would do.
He'd caught you glancing at his abs more than once before.
Might as well use every advantage he had.
Theo sat on the edge of his bed.
Every minute felt like an hour.
Maybe she'd realised kissing him had been a mistake.
A soft knock echoed through the room.
Theo was on his feet before he even realised he'd moved.
Still wearing the same green dress.
The uncertainty in your eyes had been replaced with quiet determination.
Your gaze travelled from his face to his bare chest.
Theo couldn't help smiling.
You were basically stroking his ego with that intense gaze of yours.
"See something you like?"
He stepped aside to let you in.
Once the door clicked shut behind you, neither of you spoke for a moment.
Finally, you folded your arms.
Those words stung more than he expected.
"That's not going to change."
He closed his eyes briefly before nodding.
If sharing you was the only way he could have you...
"And if we're going to do this..."
"Under no circumstances can anyone find out, Theodore."
The way she says my name....
Theo smiled despite himself.
"I like hearing you say my name."
"Especially when you say it like that...with that fire in your eyes"
His hands settled gently on your hips.
He rested his forehead against yours.
"Anything else, principessa?"
He felt your palms pressed lightly against his chest.
He chuckled softly before capturing your lips again.
he murmured between kisses.
"I couldn't stop staring at you."
His fingers found the zip at your back.
He wanted you. He needed you. But he wasn't going to take you unless you were 100% certain. He didn't want their first time to be a regret.
Only after you nodded did he slowly lower it.
The dress slipped to the floor.
Theo simply looked at you.
There wasn't another word for it.
He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you once more.
Then he lifted you effortlessly into his arms.
"You have no idea how long I've dreamed about this."
Resting his forehead against yours, he smiled.
"I'm going to take my time with you tonight, bella."
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Morning sunlight filtered through the curtains.
Theo woke with his arms wrapped securely around you, your head tucked beneath his chin.
Last night had been everything he'd been dreaming of for the past 3 years.
A sleepy smile tugged at his lips.
You rubbed your eyes before looking up at him. Like a kitten.
"I should probably go back before someone gets suspicious."
Theo instinctively tightened his arms around you.
He wasn't ready to let you go.
"Draco usually comes to get me for breakfast."
Theo resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
"I'll see you in Herbology anyway."
"We have it together every Friday, remember?"
He brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his gaze lingering briefly on the mark he'd left on your neck before returning to your eyes.
"I also know you can't function without breakfast."
You climbed out of bed and gathered your clothes.
"That's because it's the most important meal of the day."
Theo leaned back against the headboard, watching you with unmistakable fondness.
A faint blush crept across your cheeks.
Theo could hear the defense in your voice. Did you not believe him?
Theo stood and ran a hand through his messy hair.
You hesitated for a moment before smiling.
"I'll see you at breakfast?"
Theo stepped closer and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.
"We can't have you being late."
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A few minutes after you left, Mattheo wandered into the dorm.
One look at Theo's face was enough.
"Looks like someone's satisfied."
Theo smirked despite himself.
Mattheo sat down on his own bed.
"Do I finally get to know which girl ended your six-month dry spell?"
Mattheo narrowed his eyes.
The familiar perfume lingering around the room made his eyes widen.
"It's seven in the morning."
"Mate... you finally got the girl."
Theo couldn't stop smiling.
"But no one can find out."
"She wants it kept secret."
"Oh...So she's still with Malfoy."
He stared down at his hands.
"But I'd rather have her in secret than not have her at all."
"You're completely gone."
Theo laughed humourlessly.
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Breakfast was exactly as Theo expected.
Draco arrived with you, your fingers intertwined.
Theo hated how normal it looked.
As though last night had never happened.
Pansy leaned towards him.
He rolled his eyes but swapped places with her.
Pansy's seat was beside yours.
A small smile tugged at his lips.
You sat down without looking at him.
You quietly spooned food onto your plate while Draco launched into another story about himself.
Beneath the table, Theo let his fingers brush lightly against your thigh.
You shot him a warning look.
Instead of pulling away, he rested his hand gently against your thigh.
His thumb traced slow circles against your skin.
Theo almost laughed at the irony.
Your own boyfriend hadn't noticed you'd barely spoken all breakfast.
But Theo noticed everything.
Eventually he withdrew his hand, noticing the slight tinge of disappointment in your gaze.
He stood just as Draco leaned over to kiss your forehead before leaving for class.
He offered you his arm dramatically.
You rolled your eyes and ignored it.
He reached into his robes and handed you a small paper bag.
Your face lit up immediately.
"I know how much you love them."
You took a bite and smiled.
Theo felt absurdly pleased with himself.
"Are you coming to Mattheo's movie night tonight?"
"Draco doesn't want to go."
He'd plan this whole thing just for you!
And now you weren't coming?
Because of fucking Malfoy??
"Who cares what Malfoy wants?"
"Don't let his choices become yours."
After a long pause, you nodded.
By the time the two of you reached Herbology, class had already started.
Professor Sprout folded her arms.
"How lovely of you both to join us."
She gestured towards the only empty workstation.
Theo had never been happier to be late.
Throughout the lesson, he found every excuse possible to be close to you.
Whenever he handed you supplies, his fingers brushed yours.
He'd conveniently "forgotten" his textbook, despite it sitting untouched in his bag.
Every excuse to lean closer...
By the end of class, you looked adorably flustered.
Theo, meanwhile, looked far too pleased with himself.
As everyone packed away their things, Professor Sprout spoke again.
"I'll keep the same pairs for the assignment."
"Looks like we'll be spending even more time together, principessa."
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Later that day was Mattheo's movie night-the one Theo had blackmailed his best friend into hosting.
You and Draco were sitting on the bed, which had been created by pushing Mattheo's and Theo's smaller beds together.
Theo sat on the floor beside Mattheo.
One of your legs hung loosely over the edge of the bed, just inches from his head.
Theo rested his hand lightly against your leg.
But you both knew it was too dark. No one would notice.
His hand slowly slid higher, coming to rest on your thigh, his fingers digging gently into your skin.
He caught your gaze before pressing a soft kiss to your thigh.
He was having far too much fun.
He could tell you barely focused on the movie for the rest of the night.
His hands were... distracting.
He watched goosebumps spread across your skin.
Oh, he was going to have his fun with you.
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The library was supposed to be for studying.
Instead, Theo had pulled you into his lap.
Your Herbology assignment lay forgotten on the table beside you.
He already knew most of the material.
You should have finished hours ago.
He was kissing you senseless.
Theo had noticed that your skirt was shorter than usual today.
One hand tangled gently in your hair.
The other rested possessively against your waist.
He smiled against your lips.
"You like watching me lose my mind, don't you?"
A familiar voice echoed from somewhere beyond the bookshelves.
"What do you mean you don't have the book? My father will hear about this!"
You instinctively tried to pull away.
Theo's arms tightened around you.
Theo couldn't give two flying fucks.
His thumbs rubbed slow circles against your hips.
He brushed his lips against yours again.
"No one ever comes to this section."
A small smirk tugged at his lips.
"That's exactly why I picked it."
He had strategically chosen the quietest corner of the library for the two of you to work on your "project."
He pulled you into another kiss.
Beyond the shelves, Draco was still arguing with the librarian.
The risk only made the secret that much more intoxicating.
Theo felt you kiss him back with equal desperation, a soft moan escaping into his mouth.
He was in so much trouble.
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Theo spent almost every night with you.
Over time, he'd noticed the things you never let the rest of the world see.
How your home life wasn't nearly as perfect as everyone assumed.
How you shut down instead of screaming whenever you were hurt.
How you smiled whenever you wanted to hide how deeply something affected you.
He learned all your defence mechanisms.
And little by little, he opened up to you too.
He told you that the silver ring on his pinkie had belonged to his mother-the last gift she'd given him before she died.
He cried while talking about his childhood.
About how desperately he missed the way things used to be.
Then, one night, after finally finding the courage, he told you about the overdose.
If Mattheo hadn't found him in time...
He wouldn't have survived.
She's going to leave now.
Why would she want to be with a bloody druggie?
But to his utter shock...
You wrapped your arms around him.
You held him tightly and made him promise that if he ever felt that way again, he'd come to you first.
Theo had cried harder that night than he ever had before.
The more time he spent with you, the more he realised he was utterly doomed.
He listened whenever you vented about Draco.
How you could feel your relationship slowly falling apart.
And the more he listened...
The more he realised he'd fallen even deeper in love with you.
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You sat together in the Astronomy Tower, your head resting comfortably against Theo's shoulder.
One of his arms was draped around you as the two of you shared a cigarette beneath the stars.
You'd started calling him that as a joke.
It felt strangely perfect.
You looked down at your hands.
"I'm going to break up with Draco."
Theo went completely still.
For one brief, impossible moment, it felt as though every thought had been ripped from his mind before crashing back into him all at once.
Was this really happening?
Was the agony of watching you love someone else finally coming to an end?
Theo simply stared at you.
Almost afraid to believe you.
Hope was a dangerous thing.
Slowly, he flicked the cigarette over the edge of the tower before gently taking both of your hands in his.
His thumbs brushed softly across your knuckles.
Theo knew he sounded pathetic.
He couldn't bring himself to care.
You smiled before nodding.
He felt your fingers tighten around his.
You looked into his blue eyes.
"You make me feel special, Teddy."
Theo rested his forehead against yours.
His heart hammered against his ribs.
"I've been in love with you since third year, bella."
He let out a quiet, nervous laugh.
"My heart still flips every time you're around."
One hand came up to cup your cheek.
His voice was barely above a whisper.
As though he was terrified you might disappear if he held you any tighter.
Above you, the stars stretched endlessly across the night sky.
The rest of the world faded away.
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