Hello I'm Tired

my best tip for anyone trying to get back into reading is to remember that you can read books to avoid other responsibilities in ur life and it can become a vice if you play your cards right

have you ever shipped something so hard that you become irrationally happy and make a sound akin to steam escaping from a kettle everytime they so much as stand next to eachother

[grandma voice] back in my day, sonny, we called it “squeeing”.

Fuck im old

see the THING IS I don't feel like I ever worked hard enough to have "earned" the burnout, which is. probably how we got here.

maybe this time picking at Textures on my skin will lead to being silky smooth

bleeding

Better try again tomorrow

I’m 2016 I had a shoplifter role play blog because to avoid getting deleted all the shoplifting blogs claimed it was just to rp. Mine actually was though but I’d post shoplifting content and reblog tips and my “hauls” were just stuff I borrowed from my much more fashionable sister. I had a decent amount of followers and I got a lot of hate but I’d be like “ok buddy I’m just goofing around lol” and then post $150 of Sephora products legally purchased by my sister with the caption #gettingawaywithit. this did not improve my life but it did get me talking to people more often which, obviously, I needed

i have seen this post on my dash 7 times now and every time i think more loudly, 'this is what Batman villain The Penguin's dialogue sounds like when they let him be fun to watch.'

"killing billionaires wont solve the problem of wealth inequality" no but killing elon musk would solve the problem of elon musk

…They did what… to you? No. I will make them pay. You’re fucking mine. And nobody, nobody, lays a goddamn finger on you.

Me when I get my car back from the mechanics and the adjustment on my seat is all wrong

This is the funniest fucking addition

The worst part of human adulthood is being your own zookeeper

Like... i have to make sure my meals are nutritionally balanced... i have to make sure that the space i occupy is big enough, and interesting enough, and provide enrichment to make up for the lack of novelty... i have to make sure i get exercise... i'm not qualified for this

This is modern poetry