Kvetha Fricaya

any Catholics online ? I got some questions.

Yeah I'm catholic whatsup

how do i reach heaven through violence

Its called a crusade and you need to get the Pope's permission first

remember being an eleven year old girl and being filled with rage? everything i did was from a place in my head where tiny daydream me was smashing plates.

eleven year old me at a sleepover: how about instead of talking about boys we go to the park and like idk play some sort of game where we fight eachother with swords to the death

you say ‘what’s up?’, we say ‘VAS HAPPENIN?’ you say mcdonalds, we say NANDO’S. you say the beach, we say MALABAMI. you say junk food, we say CARROTS.  you say a pigeon, we say KEVIN! you say spoons, we say NO WAY! we are love. we are one. we are directioners <3

Apple spider

Vinegar

Boots with the fur

the beach boys were right. it would be nice

“if goofy is a dog and pluto is a dog why is one a pet” is the cartoon equivalent of “if man evolved from monkeys why are there still monkeys”

The implication that Goofy is just a more advanced stage in canine evolution is oddly terrifying somehow

theres no such thing as ‘more advance’ in evolution. a dogman isnt more evolved than a dog, just as you are no more evolved than an seagull or coral, they are just fitted for different environments and have evolved as such

Goofy is not more evolved the Pluto, Goofy just fills a different ecological niche. While Pluto is just a scavenger and Goofy is an apex predator both play important roles in the ecosystem.

“Why me? I’m domesticated!” is the deepest rabbit hole of a line in the entire disney canon

adulthood be like: *washes dishes* *puts away dishes* *washes dishes* *puts away dishes* *washes dishes* *puts away dishes* *washes dishes* *puts away dishes* *wash

#wish my roommates could read this

APPARENTLY MY MOMS BOYFRIEND HAD JURY DUTY WITH JOHN MULANEY AND WAS SITTING NEXT TO HIM

imagine going to the jury and seeing him like i wouldn’t be able to keep it together emotionally i’d just be disqualified the plaintiff would be like “he stole my assets” and i’d be like I Have Fired The Criminal Catcher

John Mulaney Gives You The Death Sentence (ASMR)

Imagine being on trial and you look over at the jury and John Mulaney is just sitting there. How do you handle that, psychologically. How do you not conclude your life has turned into a piece of absurdist theatre

John Mulaney’s next Netflix special be like “So I had jury duty recently. I know you’re looking at me in my suit and thinking ‘that makes sense.’ I look like someone let a child sell insurance, of course I would have jury duty. And that is why you’re wrong. I used to do cocaine and now I have to decide whether other people have committed a crime? This is a mistake.”