we are pheasants

A little brown bunny was so kind and sweet it stretched its whole body out and got long enough to go to sleep

i think "[sic]" is one of the funniest things of literature. like yeah this guy really wrote it out like that

Where would we be without the number 3. She's given us so much. <3. :3. What's next

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible

Last night I had a dream I woke up to find that my house had been turned into a Smart House with every wall being a digital screen including the roof so I could see it even laying on bed and the Siri voice said “Don’t worry. You are perfectly safe in your Apple Smart Home™️” knowing I have a BIG phobia of intruders especially at night and it continued with “Let’s explore the neighborhood from the comfort of your home” so it opened google maps and accidentally zoomed past a shitty jpeg of the girl from The Ring standing outside my house and it said “ignore that”. woke up laughing

Me thinking why a whale (big) would eat krill (small) and then I remembered rice (yum)

giving unread book back to the library makes me feel like i should be shot

The fact that some people say things like this while other people think it’s totally fine to starve children is something that really should be talked about more.

period i am against that for sure

the secret to life is always having something to look forward to

to anyone saying there's nothing to look forward to, I'm not saying it has to be anything spectacular or huge. it could just be a song or a book that will release in a few days, a tv show, anything!! no matter how small it seems it can keep us going

so called free thinkers when h-o-t t-o g-o you can take me hot to go

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

Happy centennial to the turtle who bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river

I’m fine

I need divine intervention