What are you supposed to do? Like in general?

i love myself but i dont love me back

there’s just so much about the stress of living as a woman thats hard to explain to men beyond just like, the most explicit and overt sexism/misogyny. its like this tightly wound ball of all these behaviors and expectations and mannerisms that even most women are not consciously aware of half of them. you just get the feeling that something is not right, like it’s unfair. but you can’t explain why because it’s never simply just one thing or action done by another person- it’s that your whole life has always felt this way because the systematic dehumanization of women is so deeply insidious and invisible.

lowkey can’t wait for there to be an especially dramatic episode of brooklyn nine nine where andy sambergs character gets shot and everyone dubs mmm whatcha say over the scene and we come full circle

having to be “mature” at a young age sucks bc you aren’t really “mature-mature” you’re a child playing at a maturity bc you don’t have the foundation to be the bigger person when conflict arrives so what you do is ignore it bc ignoring a problem and being happy about a resolution look the same to your inexperienced eyes. Then you get adults praising you for a development above your peers but you aren’t really developing. You’re stagnant. Your peers will grow up and experience things and make mistakes and grow from them but you will keep yourself in this box, ignoring things ignoring ignoring ignoring until one day you have to face the fact… it wasn’t maturity you had. It was fear. And now you’re an adult too and you make all of your choices based on an emotional risk/costs analysis bc you don’t know any emotion other than fear & you have to start healing from your own childhood by making peace that you weren’t really a mature child. You were just a child who was given too much to carry & didn’t know how to say “no”.

there is no old self to get back to there’s a new u to create n nurture