why yes this is person

Big fan of de-centering the orgasm from sex and kink. Yes, it can be a fun goal to cum and an awesome experience, I'm not taking away from that. But human bodies are just poorly designed. It hiccups randomly. It can't consistently 3D print the organs right. The brain organ locks up from anxiety randomly. If it doesn't touch grass it gets angsty. It just is allergic. So just focus on having fun, what pleases each other, and broadening what "pleasure" even is beyond sexual sensation.

if you're really chill about a lot of stuff, you will eventually become The Person Who Can Be Told Things and unlock a secret extra layer of knowledge about your friends

notice that no one on MTV Cribs has an emergency eyewash station

90% of google search ai summaries feel like this guy leaning uncomfortably over your shoulder and pointing at stuff on your screen reading out the exact same text you're already looking at

"trump dying won't fix fascism" neither would a big steamy bowl of pad thai but I still want it

Did I ever talk abt the time i was at a bdsm club and one of the pups was on all fours and barking and being cute and the dom on scene was like “hi puppy! Do you do any tricks?” And he said “I can beatbox!”

I was like. Doubled over incapacitated laughing the entire time. He was really good and a big sweetheart and I felt kinda bad but I couldn’t stop thinking “why the am I getting the beatboxing puppy unskippable cutscene at the bdsm club”

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

challenging all white women to put in even half the effort they spend on fearmongering to other white women about parking lot abductions to instead support MMIWG initiatives if they want to actually make a difference in protecting women

people debate about whether wojaks carry fascism within them inherently or not, and yknow, maybe there's something to be said about how symbols work etc, and then you see a communist make a meme that features the one that's drooling with a dent in his head to represent someone who is incorrect, and you just kind of take a pause and ask yourself what the fuck is wrong with everybody

I see that "learned helplessness" is the hot new psychological term getting wildly misused. the phrase you're looking for is "weaponized incompetence," babes