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@soldiersoftenkai
my name is goku!

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So, I don't know how to write pain like! What words do I use? how do I describe it! I really need some help here!
No problem! And sorry about not answering sooner, I was on vacation. To make it up to you, Iâve made one of my trademark Long Posts about it.
TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE PAIN (FOR BOTH ORIGINAL CONTENT WRITERS AND FANFICTION WRITERS)
When I first started writing, about eight years ago, I had the same issue as @imjustafuckinggirl.
How are you supposed to write about pain youâve never experienced before???
The characters in my book suffer through all sorts of terrible shit, and in no way am I writing from experience, which is marginally easier to do than write about something that has never happened to you.
However, with time, I managed to gather up a few strategies on how to write pain.
1. Donât Write Paragraphs About It
I know, itâs tempting. You want to convey to the reader just how much pain the character is in, and you think that the pain will be emphasized the more you write about it.
This, however, is a lie.
As a reader, when Iâm reading a book or fanfiction where, whenever the writer uses agonizingly long paragraphs to describe when a character is hurt, I skip it.
Entirely.
Itâs boring and, quite frankly, unnecessary, especially during a fight or huge battle, which are supposed to be fast-paced.
When it comes to writing about pain, it really is about quality and not quantity.
In my own writing, I stick to short, quick paragraphs, some of them which are barely a line long. This gives it a faster pace and sort of parallels with the scattered, spread out thoughts of the character as they suffer.
2. Describe it Right
Many times, usually in fanfiction, writers over-exaggerate certain injuries.
This partially has to do with the fact that theyâve never experienced that injury before and are just thinking about what it might feel like.
As a girl with two brothers and who often participated in rough play-fights, I can assure you that getting punched is not as painful as you think it is.
(However, it does depend on the area, as well as how hard the punch is, on top of the fact that you have to take into account whether or not the punch broke bones)
Iâm reading a high school AU where a character gets punched by a bully (Idk where they got punched it wasnât stated) and the author is describing it like theyâd been shot.
It was to the point where I was like Did the bully have brass knuckles or something????
It was very clear that this author had never been punched before.
When describing the pain of an injury or the injury itself, you have to take into account:
- What object was used to harm the character
- Where the injury is
- How long the character has had the injury
- (For blades) How deep the cut is
- (For blunt force trauma) How hard the hit was
- Whether or not the wound triggers other things (Ex: Concussion, vomiting, dizziness, infection, internal/external bleeding).
Thereâs also the fact that when some authors described wounds caused by blades such as knives, daggers, and swords, they never take into account the anatomy of a person and which places cause the most blood flow.
Obviously, a cut on your cheek will have less of a blood flow than a cut on your wrist, depending on what the blade hits, and I hope that everyone consults a diagram of veins, capillaries, arteries, etc. when theyâre describing blood flow from a certain place.
Thereâs also the fact that you have to take into account where the blood is coming from. Veins? Arteries?
The blood from arteries will be a brighter red, like vermilion, than the blood from veins, which is the dark crimson everyone likes to talk about.
Not all places gush bright red blood, people!
3. DIFFERENT INJURIES HAVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF PAIN
Here, let me explain.
A punch feels different from a slap.
A broken arm feels different from getting stabbed.
A fall feels different from a dog bite.
Iâll give you a list of all the kinds of things that can be described for the three most common kinds of injuries that happen in stories:
Punch/Blunt Force Trauma
How it feels:
- Aching
- Numbness (In the later stages)
- A single spike of pain before it fades into an ache
- Throbbing
Effects:
- Vomiting (If the character is punched in the gut)
- Swelling
- Bruising
- Broken bones
- Unconsciousness (Blow to the head)
- Dizziness (Blow to the head)
- Concussion (Also a blow to the head)
- Internal bleeding
- Death (In the case of concussions and internal bleeding and broken bones- ribs can pierce lungs)
Stab Wound/Cut
How it feels:
- Stinging (only shallow wounds have just stinging)
- Burning
- With stab wounds, I feel like describing the effects of it make it more powerfully felt by the reader
Effects:
- Bleeding (Consult chart of the circulatory system beforehand for the amount of blood flow that should be described and what color the blood should be)
- Dizziness (Heavy blood loss)
- Unconsciousness
- Infection (if left unattended)
- Death
Gunshot
How it feels:
- Depends on the caliber bullet, from how far away they were shot (point-blank range is nothing like being shot from a distance), and in what place. Do careful research and then make your decision.
Effects:
- Bleeding(Consult chart of the circulatory system beforehand for the amount of blood flow that should be described and what color the blood should be. Also take into effect the above variables for blood flow as well.)
- Dizziness (Heavy blood loss)
- Infection (if left unattended)
- Death
Some things that a character may do while theyâre injured:
- Heavy/Harsh/Ragged breathing
- Panting
- Making noises of pain
gasping
grunting
hissing
groaning
whimpering
yelping (when the injury is inflicted)
screaming
shrieking
wailing
- Crying/ Weeping/Sobbing/Etc.
- Clenching their teeth
- Unable to speak
- Pressing their hands against a stab wound/cut to try and stem the bleeding
- Eyesight going out of whack (vision blurring and tilting, the room spinning, black spots consuming sight)
- Eyes rolling up into their head
- Trembling/shaking
- Ears riniging (from gunshot)
HOPE THIS HELPED!
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soldiersoftenkai :
âOh, no no. I was merely admiring this particular article of clothing on your feet. Iâve recently picked up a very interesting historical book discussing the origin of these things. Ah, did you know that it is not until the 18th century that women started wearing them? They are mostly made for men, and have been worn exclusively by those who held a high position in society. They ~elevated~ themselves among the rest by using such as symbols of status and power. In fact, it is only later that women who are equivalent of those men have been allowed to put on heels. This is where the expression âa well-heeled manâ came from!â After bombarding random facts he was positive Konzen did not give a shit about, Tenpou continued.
âDid you also know that heels are used as an integral part of the battle uniforms and armors of some armies in the lower world? They use it to lock themselves into their horses, so their aim for archery would not be compromised by poor balance and motion.â He raised a digit to the air, smiling wryly at his golden-haired friend.
Konzen can almost hear the warm breeze blowing right through his office, cicadas chirping serenely as cherry blossoms scatter in the air before falling to the ground. Perhaps he should thank Tenpou for allowing him to reach such a marvelous form of transcendence, his soul going beyond the shackles and trivialities of human emotion.
No more pain or agony; no regret or disdain.
No more hatred or anger- -Â
No more- -Â
More- - - anger - - -
âLetâs see how much your toes enjoy that unbearable history lesson, Tenpou.â
Cue a furious Konzen stomping down on the Field Marshallâs foot.
At the exact cue, the marshal had moved his foot out of Konzen's way. He would've used his arms to be more dramatic about it, but alas! He was reading Sonnets of William Shakespeare on one hand and a reference book for the playwright on another.
"On the contrary, Konzen~ I wonder why you are angered by the facts," each step he dodged almoat felt like the both of them are locked into this alien dance. And a graceful one at that.
"Perhaps the next time somebody stares down at you, tell them you are wearing your own weapon for convenience!" He finished off with a high jump, both his legs forming a wide inverted V in mid air and then landing to a 'T' position, one foot on the ground, arms stretched and the two books expertly balanced on his head.
âYes, theyâre heels. No, Iâm not compensating for anything. Now will you stop staring or must I step on your goddamn toes to prove a point??â
"Oh, no no. I was merely admiring this particular article of clothing on your feet. I've recently picked up a very interesting historical book discussing the origin of these things. Ah, did you know that it is not until the 18th century that women started wearing them? They are mostly made for men, and have been worn exclusively by those who held a high position in society. They ~elevated~ themselves among the rest by using such as symbols of status and power. In fact, it is only later that women who are equivalent of those men have been allowed to put on heels. This is where the expression 'a well-heeled man' came from!" After bombarding random facts he was positive Konzen did not give a shit about, Tenpou continued.
"Did you also know that heels are used as an integral part of the battle uniforms and armors of some armies in the lower world? They use it to lock themselves into their horses, so their aim for archery would not be compromised by poor balance and motion." He raised a digit to the air, smiling wryly at his golden-haired friend.

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Writers donât write from experience, although many are hesitant to admit that they donâtâŚIf you wrote from experience, youâd get maybe one book, maybe three poems. Writers write from empathy.
Nikki Giovanni (via wordsnquotes)
Guys, if you want to be a good artist and storyteller you need to absorb other media and influences beyond popular comics and movies and video games. Hell, even beyond visual art. Read novels, science articles, history books. Listen to podcasts, watch documentaries. Dip into different disciplines. Explore stuff outside your everyday. What you create and the pool of ideas you can pull out of is expanded by the knowledge you gain. Donât do yourself a disservice by limiting your library. You never know when some weird shit you read about mushrooms could end up inspiring you or helping you solve a design/story problem.
This applies to authors as well. Consume everything.
âWhat was I going to call himâŚâ
Any way to get your breath back after getting winded? And I mean like, getting hit hard enough in the back or stomach that the wind gets knocked out of you and you can't breathe for almost a minute. I had it happen to me as a kid and nearly fainted, and I can't be sure whether or not me smacking my own back actually helped or not.
So, what happens when the wind gets knocked out of you is that all the air in your lungs is forcibly ejected from your body. (Literally, the wind gets knocked out of you.) The only way to recover from that is to get the wind back into your body, and that is all posture.
When weâre winded, our first instinct is often to lean over. Youâre breathing heavily, your back gets tired, and you just hang there. (Basically what happens when you get punched in the gut, except the gut punch is the more severe version.) This is one of those bad instincts because it keeps you from getting that air.
Youâve got to get yourself upright and breathing, get the oxygen back into your lungs. The oxygen goes from your lungs to your blood to your tired muscles including your new injuries in the abdominal muscles and thatâs what helps you recover.
Youâve got to straighten, open your chest, and force yourself to take long, deep, controlled breaths with your diaphragm. Your body wonât want to do that. Itâs gonna hurt. Your body is going to want to stay bowled over. However, when youâre hanging there your ability to breathe is negligible. You wonât get enough air into your lungs for it to matter. Unless youâre doing a sport or practicing martial arts theyâre not going to tell you how important breathing is.
One of the first things they will teach you in any martial art is how to breathe. Most people breathe using either their lungs or their stomach, you donât do either. You breathe with your diaphragm. The faster you get air back into your body then the faster you recover. (This works in the short term too, the more oxygen you get into your lungs then the faster that gets to your muscles which helps them recover. If you cannot breathe then you cannot fight for long periods, or perform any sport. That hissing sound you often hear in martial arts movies that lots of people make fun of? Thatâs them breathing. The kihap is also breathing. Theyâve trained their bodies to exhale on the strike, which negates the chance of having the wind knocked out of you when youâre hit in the stomach.) The more we work out and practice at this then the stronger our lungs get and the better we become at breathing.
Breathing is a learned skill.
The best part about rigorous physical exercise is that youâre used to being out of breath so you learn to work through it, recover faster, and get back in the game. Practice is how you get your breath back.
Basically, you had to straighten in order to smack your back which is what let you recover your breath.
-Michi
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Iconic
Everything about this is a masterpiece
ocxtharsxs:
ââŚItâs justified since I placed one on your cheek.â
Of course, Tenpouâs mark would fade in time while Konzenâs would follow him til he graduated from the Academy. And while the blond couldnât care less about breaking rules (he merely stayed in line because it was less bothersome than being an all-out ruffian), the thought of his parents hearing about the mishap made him - dare he say it - worried.
While his relationship with his mother and father was barely stellar, a single hair out of line might mean keeping him indoors possibly forever. And Konzen was barely keeping it together as is.
âActually, you do owe me.â
The blond paused in mid-sweep, hands perching on top of the broom handle as he regarded Tenpou with a calm, calculating look.
âHelp me clear my mark and Iâll forget this slight ever happened. How about it?â
âHm?â My head rose up from doing the thing as I heard him ask for my help. The way he did so too had a little more to it - as if something was on the line.Â
âIâm honored you think Iâm that reliable to lend a help. But I am barely keeping my marks together as it is.â Hah. It was true. I forget to do my homework all the time. âPlus, itâd suck if we forget about this at all. I mean...weâve come this far.â
Oops. That came out creepier than usual. It was supposed to be a joke. Did I laugh? I think I did. However, I couldnât deny I wanted to lend a hand. How often would Konzen Douji ask favors from you after all? I did what I could do. I told him Iâd take responsibility.Â
âI can always explain to your father what happened, you know. If youâre worried, that is. Iâm sure heâd believe me.â Buddha knows the kind of track record the clan of Gensui had, anyway. Even by the mention of my name, a Douji would know. I smiled at him, even though I knew it wasnât good enough an offer.
cxtharsxs:
âNo, it doesât make sense.â Konzen lied through his teeth, hating how Kenrenâs words were worth more than what he expected from the âfoolishâ soldier.
Perhaps something can be said about an idle mind reaching a point of consciousness that can not be fathomed by the learned. After all, stillness offered the best opportunity for knowledge. Itâs why they were taught to sit for endless hours in complete silence to reach enlightenment. (It never worked but people seemed impressed by his ability to stay still like a statue so thereâs that.)
âSay what you will⌠but declaring that âloveâ is most important sounds like the exact thing fools would do before they sink with their ship.â
âDespite all the good you see from it, that love you speak of also brings about jealousy and pain. People will destroy themselves with any unrestrained emotion no matter how noble their initial intention.â
Konzen reaches for a fresh page, scribbling several notes for later.
âWhich is why I prefer keeping away from it all. Feeling, dreaming, loving - they are frivolous things heavenly beings shouldnât even consider.â
Wow.Â
If it was hard to believe rumors over how much of a stubborn mule Konzenâs ass could get, they should wait until theyâre in his shoes that moment. Even in the face of self-contradiction, Goldie was unwavering over making his point.
Well...
Kenren relaxed, even grinning as he gave the other a visible shoulder shrug. He ainât here to win. Plus, if he knew any better, there is no winning over a Konzen Douji. Even if they were just obviously going over circles.Â
Though...there was another point he wanted to bring up. And he promised himself thereâd be nothing else to follow it.Â
âThe good comes with the bad. Itâs how thingsâve always been. Disparities are only a matter of values. Bottom line, you give love away; comes right back at âya. True, it can drive you beyond the edge you donât even know was real...â Â Kenren jumped out of the godâs desk, and once on his toes brought the heel of his boot towards his hand to kill his cigarette. Â âAt the same time, it brings you happiness." As cliche as that may sound.
Once out, Kenren flicked the dead stick towards the nearest bin. It went in!
"And if you're lucky, satisfaction." He turned to Konzen and sneered.
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cxtharsxs:
Konzen sighs as if the entire weight of the world has just been dropped on to his shoulders.
âTime, for one. The same time you seem intent on wasting with frivolous talk.â
Not admitting that he was technically wasting time along with Kenren as he continued to indulge him even as he puts up the perfect work facade, pen gliding fluidly on parchment to leave a distinct mark. (âNeeds improvement; re-check space allocation.â)
âDignity is another.â
Weary amethyst glanced at the soldier before darting back to the documents.
âYou can exist without love but not without dignity, not without self-respect. Only a fool would give away something when they have nothing on their own.â
The conversation turning serious and all, the general took his time whiffing the last of his cigaretteâs life as he listened to the otherâs own phenomenology. Ainât this amazing? Goldie humoring him into conversations like these wouldâve been something off his wildest dreams. To top that, he gets first row seat to the very makings of this beautiful stone-faced young master and how he saw his own self.
âIâm no philosopher, but arenât dignity and self-respect roots from love itself?â He could feel the smoke warm his chest as he turned his head up, watching the ceiling.Â
âLove for yourself, âtleast.â
He blew the last of the smoke out.
âThe funny thing about time...itâs just something everyone has until they donât. The only thing that makes it important is what you make of it.â
A pause.
âAnd the things you didnât, while you still had it...if that made sense.â
cxtharsxs:
For all the fire and force that Konzen unleashed upon an unsuspecting Tenpou, the blond faced the consequences with his usual calm, stoic demeanor. He did not deny hitting the other and answered each question promptly, his head held high even as the Academy became a proverbial beehive, buzzing with the news of their so-called âgolden boyâ breaking the rules.
Perhaps it was a small grace that Konzen and Tenpou were sent to a closed-off location⌠or maybe this was the Academyâs way of hiding the âblemishesâ on their perfect facade.
Whatever the reason, Konzen seemed intent on ignoring the other boyâs presence as they both begin cleaning the temple. Heâd never really had to tidy up such a huge space but the principles should be the same - work efficiently, work quickly, and work silently.
Maybe he can spare at least a few words.
â⌠Sorry about hitting you.â
Maybe more than a few.
âIt was self-defense. You were creeping me out.â
I have nothing against cleaning, except maybe actually doing it. With this punishment, itâs safe to say the Academy got me good. I kept to the task anyway.What else was a young god to do after all? Although I had to admit, it was quite relaxing. Iâm at the verge of getting into focus when I heard something I didnât expect - Konzen Douji starting to apologize to me...and then quickly justifying his actions. I couldnât help another chortle.
After squeezing a rug dry into a bucket, I turned towards him with a smile. âAh, I do get a little murdery whenever I try to make friends. I should be the one to apologize, actually.â
I continued polishing the buddhaâs ass. âI seemed to have placed a red mark onto your perfect record.âÂ