Dennis Whitaker who was always the weird girl growing up.
Dennis who was always running around with the chickens, letting them eat seed from his hair, laughing as hens laid eggs in his lap. Dennis who wore his brother’s hand me downs even if his mother kept making him dresses and buying him girls clothes.
Dennis who liked reading books at the library about science and looking anatomy charts, who used to sit on a bridge outside of town and watch the creek run… daydreaming…
Dennis who wasn’t the smartest in school, didn’t have a ton of friends, someone who was just… one of those kids. Everyone knew Dennis would grow up, get married, and never leave Broken Bow, never leave the family farm.
Dennis was one of those weird teenage girls who took extra science classes in highschool and went to prom by himself in a dress that didn’t feel right, he listened to weird music and didn’t know how to dance other than square dancing.
Dennis who chopped his hair off with scissors in the bathroom on his twentieth birthday before he left for medical school, leaving his path of religious studies to chase what he wanted. Dennis who left a letter explaining himself on his parent’s kitchen counter. Dennis who cried on the greyhound, his heart already hurting as he left the only place he’d ever known.
Dennis who still cries sometimes, missing home. Missing the corn fields he used to hide in and read the bodice rippers his mother scorned him for even glancing at, missing the roosters crowing in the mornings, missing holding the warm new body of a fresh born lamb, missing the way it felt to be apart of his family, to sit at the dining table with everyone who- who-
Dennis sometimes still feels like the weird girl who used to sit in the barn loft behind the straw bales and watch the other boys play baseball in the field, just wanting to be like that. Sitting at the nurses station sometimes looking at everyone else, watching everyone else and just feeling… other.
Dennis Whitaker who feels like he’s always gonna be the weird girl.
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