i have a tiny (read: huge) softspot for bechloe.

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“Come in come in.” Mr Beale beckons, taking a step back and motioning for the two young women to enter the house. Beca and Chloe do so, Beca swallowing loudly once the front door is closed behind her. To say she’s nervous is an understatement.

“Come in come in.” Mr Beale beckons, taking a step back and motioning for the two young women to enter the house. Beca and Chloe do so, Beca swallowing loudly once the front door is closed behind her. To say she’s nervous is an understatement.

“Come in come in.” Mr Beale beckons, taking a step back and motioning for the two young women to enter the house. Beca and Chloe do so, Beca swallowing loudly once the front door is closed behind her. To say she’s nervous is an understatement.

“Come in come in.” Mr Beale beckons, taking a step back and motioning for the two young women to enter the house. Beca and Chloe do so, Beca swallowing loudly once the front door is closed behind her. To say she’s nervous is an understatement.

The last time she was here was around two years ago. Helping Chloe pack for the move up to Brooklyn. And Beca remembers Chloe’s mother being so kind, chatting to her while Chloe made decisions on what to pack and what to leave back home. It had been a really nice couple of days.

The Mrs Beale back then had been sprightly and full of life. Warm and caring. Kind, with an endearing mischievous side to her too. The Mrs Beale now, however… Beca’s not too sure if she feels comfortable seeing Chloe’s mother if the woman’s mental capacity has deteriorated as much as they’ve been told it has.

“So uh…” Chloe’s father pauses, letting out a heavy sigh, and Beca keeps her eyes focussed on her girlfriend. Chloe’s staring at the staircase, clearly aware that climbing them will take her to her mother. Or at least the woman she’d once known as her mother.

“…did you want to go see her?” Patrick Beale asks, and Beca notices the way Chloe’s throat contracts with a loud swallow. After a moments hesitation, the young redhead nods slightly. And Beca let’s out a heavy exhale through her nose.

———

Chloe feels her breath held in her throat, her heart thumping away while she stands anxiously outside the door of her mother’s ‘recreational room’. Her father stepped inside moments ago, with the intention of preparing the older woman for ‘guests’. He’s never had to do this before when she’s visited. So already this whole situation feels different. Uncomfortable. Scary.

Again she feels Beca gently taking her wrist, squeezing it softly, as if relaying to her that she’s present if needed. And Chloe couldn’t be more grateful. Her girlfriend is the best.

The sound of her father’s footsteps approaching on the other side of the closed door sets Chloe’s nerves alight, a feeling that’s not helped by Beca immediately letting go of her. She knows it’s because her father doesn’t know about their romantic relationship. She’s somewhat terrified about how he’ll react when she eventually tells him. But that’s not something at the forefront of her mind right now.

The doorknob is twisted and her father is soon revealed. Again, Chloe keeps her breath tucked into her lungs while she peers past him and into the room. There, sat in an armchair by the window, is her mother. Looking frailer than Chloe’s ever seen her mother look before.

She knows her father’s struggled to get her mother to eat over the past few days. Apparently it can occasionally be common with those suffering with dementia. It doesn’t make it any easier to come to terms with though.

Her mother looks pale, with a distant expression on her face as she looks out the window. And Chloe feels an urge to launch herself into the room and into her mother’s arms. She desperately wishes her mother would hold her like she used to. That she’d at least recognise her. But she knows that’ll never happen.

“Beth, they’re coming in now.” Chloe hears her father say, and she swallows loudly while taking a few slow steps into the room. Her heart is thumping at a rate of none, her mouth going dry as she hears her father quietly close the door - closing them in the room to give them some privacy. Despite her nerves however, the presence of her girlfriend following directly behind her gives her strength.

Beth Beale turns to look at the guests, her eyes meeting Chloe’s. And Chloe’s struck by how dim those eyes now look. No longer the bright tropical blue they’d once been. It’s as though her mother’s eyes look lifeless. Hopeless. Empty. Lost.

“Are you hear to wash me?” the woman asks with a low and unimpressed tone. Each word feels like a punch to Chloe’s gut. It’s spoken with such little affection that Chloe feels as though her mother’s becoming unrecognisable. Like a whole different person. And Chloe finds herself coming to a realisation that she’s never going to get her mother back. A realisation that brings tears to Chloe’s own eyes.

“Would you like me to wash you?” Chloe eventually finds herself replying, wishing her voice hadn’t broken mid-way through the sentence. Because she’ll do it, she’ll totally wash her mother and clean her hair if it’s what the woman would like. Anything to be close to her. Anything to be able to care for her.

It’s at this point she feels Beca step closer to her. Step up to her side. It’s at this point she feels Beca’s index finger hook her pinky finger, a subtle message of solidarity. And it’s at this point that Chloe suddenly sees her mother’s face shift. Beth’s eyes twinkle ever so slightly, and Chloe finds her breath hitching in her throat.

“Beca!” Beth Beale bursts, and the hugest smile spreads across her face. Chloe’s mouth drops open in shock, her heart still pounding as she sees her mother’s entire demeanour almost change in an instant. Her mother…recognises Beca??

She turns to look at her girlfriend who is equally stunned. Beca’s eyes are wide, her mouth hanging open. And Chloe notes the way her neck contracts with a swallow.

“Um…hi Mrs Beale.” Beca manages to reply slowly, cautiously. Her eyes flicker momentarily over to Chloe’s, and Chloe’s heart (which had once felt so broken upon arriving here) begins to soar. If her mother remembers Beca then perhaps there’s a chance she can remember her too. Somewhere deep in her memory.

“Oh look at you.” Beth cooes, reaching her hands out to beckon Beca over to the chair positioned directly beside her own armchair. Chloe sees her girlfriend hesitate. Feels her girlfriend hesitate. But she knows Beca needn’t worry. This is a good thing. It has to be.

So she gives Beca a tiny nod and a flicker of a tiny smile. Then she watches as her girlfriend takes a deep breath and cautiously approaches the older woman. Beth takes both of Beca’s hands in her own, her smile broad and her expression warm - just as it always had been before she’d fallen ill. And Chloe takes the time just to remain in one place and watch on in awe while her girlfriend takes a seat beside her mother.

“How’s my daughter?” is the first thing to come falling from Beth’s mouth. Chloe feels her stomach sink. Her mother’s words are a stark reminder that the woman doesn’t recognise her anymore, and it kills her a bit inside.

“She’s okay, Mrs Beale.” Beca replies cautiously, glancing fleetingly at Chloe, obviously uncomfortable with having to refer to her girlfriend as though she wasn’t in the room.

“Please, call me Beth.” Chloe hears her mother insist, and the kindness to her mother’s tone causes a warmth to radiate gently across Chloe’s body. This is the woman she remembers. Not entirely physically. But her personality, absolutely. This was her to a tee. Kind, gentle, welcoming.

“Beth.” Beca replies, looking back at the older woman and pausing to clear her throat, “Right.”

Chloe knows that her girlfriend’s met her mother on several occasions in the past. And during all of those occasions, at no point had Beca been in a relationship with Chloe. A strong friendship, yes. But the romance they share now is still fresh and new and exciting. And…scary. At least, scary while they’re both here. Because they’re having to act as though they aren’t in a relationship and that they aren’t in love and they can’t let anyone figure out the truth. Who knows how Chloe’s father will one day react.

“So my baby girl’s okay.” Beth checks, “And she’s still happy living in New York with you?”

“She’s really happy!” Chloe finds herself bursting, desperate to tell her mother how safe and happy she is. But the sound of her voice appears to make her mother jump, and Beth’s head turns suddenly, her eyes snapping over at her, her smile having dropped in an instant. Chloe can tell her mother still doesn’t recognise her. In fact, it’s quite possible that her mother hadn’t even realised she was still in the room. Chloe shifts uncomfortably on the spot.

“She’s happy, Beth.” Beca offers in a calm voice, and Chloe notices the way her girlfriend gently squeezes her mother’s hands to regain her attention. It appears to do the trick, and Beth Beale’s face relaxes, a broad smile (this time of relief) spreading once again while she turns to look back at the young brunette.

“Well of course she is.” Beth replies, “And you’re taking care of her like you promised me you would?”

Chloe’s heart leaps into her throat. Beca had promised her mother she’d take care of her? When? And in what context? Obviously not a sinister one. But like…in a romantic way? One day? Maybe?

“I’m trying to.” Chloe hears her girlfriend reply. She’s tempted to speak again, this time to assure her girlfriend that she absolutely is still taking care of her. Even more-so now they’re in a romantic relationship. But she refrains, and instead waits with baited breath in case her mother inadvertently reveals anything more.

“I know I shouldn’t be telling you this,” Beth begins, and she gently tugs at Beca’s hands, leaning towards her as if ready to share a secret, “but Chloe has feelings for you. Romantic feelings.”

Several things happen all at once. First Chloe find her heart skips a beat. Then a soft smile sweeps onto her face. She notes the way Beca’s cheeks flush a light crimson colour, the woman’s eyes flitting over to her own momentarily while Beth leans back. And after a beat, a calm smile settles on Beca’s face as she resumes her focus on Chloe’s mother.

“I have romantic feelings for her too.”

Chloe’s heart thumps against her chest again, this time in excitement. And her smile broadens as she sees and hears her mother let out a squeal of delight.

“Oh you have to tell her, Beca.” Beth bursts, “You make her so happy. Being with you makes her so happy. And seeing her happy makes me happy too.”