a place to say the things better left unsaid

Do you still think of me?

i love you very very much but i don't think I could ever say it and i just hope you do first. i love you i love you i want to be together but i don't know. maybe it isn't meant to be. maybe not. but i hope it is

IM BACk. Again. This is like my fifth “I’m back” post. But for real this time I’m gonna try to run this blog as a hobby to combat my depression! I suffer from bipolar disorder and am freshly dealing with C-PTSD so I just haven’t been able to mentally organize and make posts as simple as it sounds. Some of my symptoms include physical exhaustion and pain and muscle weakness (depression symptoms) it’s all real confusing and I’m trying to learn how to manage my life again. But I have a good support system and I hope yall wanna be a part of it, this blog is a happy and safe place for me and I hope to extend that happiness and safety to all 5000+ of you ❤️ thanks for following me and please submit your suggestions, that’s what this blog is for! Sharing your feelings! 🌈

I blocked him on everything. He was seeing another girl while talking to me and planning dates with me. I feel a lot better since it ended but I still lose sleep sometimes. He’s a coward, he’s cruel and he isn’t worthy of me. But I miss him. I want to talk to him, fight with him. I want him to tell me he’s sorry and he didn’t mean it. He’s the first person I trusted with my feelings. I feel sick. I’m trying to open myself up again to this new person and most days I’m doing great but nights like tonight kill me. I feel like I should write him a letter and burn it. Did I even mean anything? Was I just a place holder? I want to understand but I know I never will. I hope to see him again but I also hope that I never see him again. I’m thankful for the lessons but I also regret meeting him. I always believe everything happens for a reason. Trial and error, right? Until I meet the person who actually can treat me with respect, who actually can value me and show me that I’m valued? Someone faithful and loving. Right? Or maybe I’m just not meant to be loved in this lifetime. Maybe some people are supposed to experience love, and others are meant to experience other things, like single empowerment or idk career success? Every time I think I’ve finally got love in my life, it’s been an illusion. For so long I stopped myself from saying this because just for a second, I stopped believing it. But I’m better off alone. I always have been and I always will be. Maybe I am just like my mum after all.

I fell in love with you at sixteen and now at 22 I’m finding I still adore you

I still can’t shake that moment where we locked eyes for a second and you forgot what you were saying for the second time in ten minutes. Your face got red and my glasses fogged up. Was that something?

I still wish you loved me, even after all I’ve done to justify the fact that you won’t.

i looked over at her while she was driving at night, telling a story, fully herself and i just knew how i felt. everything seems to come together when the only light around is the streetlights

I’m really sad today, so please send me cute suggestions and/or song recommendations if you would like 🌙🍄✨ -moonshroom

They have short brown curly hair and brown eyes. We're both lesbians, the day we became friends they asked if I was homophobic and I said no, and they said no as well, and then we came out to each other, and we started to get really close. They say they have a crush on a girl at our school, the description doesn't sound like me, which, yea okay, I don't care, but it still hurts that they look at me the way they do, they look at me like they could like me, and I know they probably don't. To quote something they wrote in one of their sketchbooks, "I love you, so please let me go" (idk lol I saw it and never asked about it in case it's about me, or maybe in case it's not, I'd don't know what I fear more, them liking me back or them liking someone else) sorry this was really long, I'm sad 💀✋

I met him on my trekking group and somehow didn't even catch his name but ended up talking for hours. Didn't even get his number because im an idiot. didn't even see his face for the first one hour because of the masks but it just felt so nice? it felt like we've known each other for years and all those easy flowing conversations were just waiting for us to meet so they can spill out. i don't know if I'll ever see him again but my heart just feels...full? if that makes sense