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@softbumblybee

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I love the implication that, as Larry is an "unpaid trainee", the dog is paid.
one must imagine sisyphus livin la vida loca
I love lying to my landlord. “We’re currently looking at a comparable unit in the area at $[a hundred dollars less than our current rent]/month, so if your offer has any flexibility to come down on the rent, that would help us reach a decision about whether or not to renew our lease here” and the comparable unit exists only in my own beautiful mind
Actually, no! And since several people have replied asked for my script for negotiating lower rent, I’m gonna share that below, as well as the philosophy behind it. Full disclosure that I’m not a leasing office person or a realtor or god forbid, a landlord—I’m just someone who has been a renter for 10+ years across different states, and I know for a fact that I have saved myself thousands of dollars by successfully negotiating a lower monthly rent on almost every lease I’ve ever signed. (Also, I’ve only ever rented in the U.S., so this advice may not be as applicable elsewhere.)
THIS!!! Exactly this. I didn’t mention it above because I just couldn’t fit it neatly anywhere, but once while negotiating a lease renewal, I got as far as receiving their counteroffer, which was basically “price firm :(”, but then life happened, so I forgot to respond and accept. The email sat in my inbox for a week. And then, completely unprompted, they magically replied again saying, “actually, nvm, how’s $[number that is lower than our opening offer] sound?”
To them, it looked like I was staring them down cold as ice like
I was literally just busy with other stuff! and they were sweating!!! BULLETS!!!

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…and the vet was like, “You know the thing with geriatric cats is—” and I was like, “What do you mean, geriatric?! It’s a little baby, look at her!" Kumail Nanjiani: Night Thoughts (2025)
Bumps your ankle
Bumps your ankle
Bumps your ankle
Bumps your ankle
Bumps your ankle
If you are a PET trying to help your HUMAN just remember the acronym WAY
Are you in the Way?
Are you in the wAy?
Are you in the waY?
If the answer to all three is YES then you are HELPING 👏👏👏

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JEN D'QUEER??? IS ANYONE HERE JEN D'QUEER???
Already know I wanna send this to people on June 1
Audio:
Erika, referencing ebenezer scrooge: You, boy! What day is it?!
Brennan, as a young boy: It's Pride, bitch!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml
oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight
It’s Pride Month Eve, so leave out some milk for Freddie Mercury and his cats.
Annual reblog of Freddie and his magnificent cats.
happy Pride Eve!