the fuck am i doing?

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Then bring me luck

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

According to the review I just read this video offers more of an explanation for why Palatine is still alive than the new movie does lmao

the way he turns into a polygonal 3D object as he falls is fucking poetic cinema

Holy shit I just won the lottery this really works

How do you find $999 on the floor?

I Reblogged The Money Susie Thats How .

DO NOT!!! SCROLL PAST!!! THIS!! REALLY!! WORKS!! i didnt really believe in things like these but when i saw it on my dash i thought, well, why not, ive really been needing money for the new game i want to buy anyway. and i hit reblog. the next day my mom gave me $100 in CASH and when i asked her why she said that she just felt like increasing my allowance!!i dont know if shes going to keep on giving me $100 allowance so im reblogging again just to make sure

Fuck it

Does it work?!!! Or is it a fraud?!

Those Who Question The Money Susie Will Suffer 500 Million Years Of Debt

The real question is why the heck she stuffed money up her nose do you hAVE ANY IDEA WHERE THAT’S BEEN?

Hi

Wtf why does this work???

Reblog to save a life

HOHO

I need this

Why can’t I stop watching this

I swear to god I’ve watched this like fifty times and I can’t stop laughing

He l p m e

I forgot I reblogged this to my main and I’m dYING

Do yourself a favor and watch this please im b e g g i n g you

Wait collecting rainwater is illegal in america?

yeah, in California, briefly in flint Michigan, although they may still be dealing with that problem as well, and among other cities that have clean water shortages and want to sabotage their working class people of color

thats fucking cursed…

thaaaat’s america!

the music made this one of the most hilarious things i have ever seen, thank you so much.

GJJGJRKGNH THE MUSIC GOES UNDERWATER WITH THE TURTLE

I actually genuinely love dealing with angry and aggressive customers because it’s SO funny. They always come in with a specific level of energy and they expect whoever they deal with to be scared of them and then when I’m clearly not physically or emotionally intimidated they get SO flustered and start doing the weirdest shit to regain power in the situation. Like there’s absolutely nothing you could do to me in this coffee shop that would ever even make my Top 10 Scariest Interactions With People but by all means, keep faking that phone call to your boss who apparently knows the Starbucks mermaid personally. 

Is that the right way to deal with people paying you for a service? Is it really worth losing customers and potential customers so you can pretend like you are someone important? What could they be irate about? You put whip cream on the latte? You didn’t leave your finger on the grinder button long enough? I find it hysterical that someone so low on the food chain needs to feel like they have a big dick! It’s rather pathetic that someone that is one step-up from pushing carts for a living can be so delusional. I would be petty if my daily life was to warm up milk or grind beans for a living but at the end of the day you are the one wearing an apron & wiping piss off toilets for a living. I think we all know who really wins

That’s why magenta isn’t in the rainbow

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”

My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago “A very nice village.” 

This post keeps getting better

Can you imagine being fuckin being lost in the desert for a couple days and out of nowhere hearing Africa by Toto?? I would lose my fuckin shit that would be the moment id be like damn im actually losing it and gonna die out here, what a banger tho.