Snrubbb

give a man a NEW LAMBORGHINI and he'll SLEEP for a day. teach a man KNOWLEDGE and he'll DRIVE UP HERE IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS

*introducing myself to the guards who caught me* seized to meet you

hey its me your immune system. looks like we caught somethin here. try sneezing real fast see if that gets rid of it. yeah no dice, huh... alright lemme try filling your lungs with fluid. no yeah i do it all the time dont worry works like a charm. hmmm... still no good... alright well just hold tight here for a minute maybe it just needs time to start working. in the mean time ill go fire up the ol' neuron cooker n see if that helps

HEY its me again. false alarm turns out it was just like pollen or somethin haha sorry i can be a little jumpy is all. ...hey man youre not lookin so good are you okay?

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

that coffee and pastry will save your life btw

MY EROTIC ROLEPLAY PARTNER DISAPPOINTED ONCE AGAIN AS I ADD 'SURREALIST ELEMENTS' TO THE SCENE

im a simple man in my ideal world working full time should pay enough that you can quit and take several months off to do non work things if you wanna. save up and write a novel or go travelling with no consequence. and doing this doesn't fuck up your resume because it would be normal and healthy.

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

as per my last straw,

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

it’s “href” cause that’s the sound you make when you have to write html

they call it amtrak because the trains am on the trak