Snobtown

Finally, some decent Italian food within a student's price range! Having just opened next to Karma Cream, Bella Donna's is a family-owned Italian restaurant for people who want bang for their buck.

For around $8, I had their Chicken Parmesan with Spaghetti, bread, and a salad with House Italian dressing. It was just right, and there was plenty left over for lunch the next day.

They also feature slices for only $1.00, or $1.50 with toppings. The sauce is thick and herby, and two slices will take care of any appetite.

On the down side, there isn't enough seating just yet (only two tables with maybe eight chairs total), and I think one time I spotted the family dog in the kitchen (health department no-no), but this place deserves your attention for sure. I think Gainesvillians were looking for an alternative to the Leo's monopoly on Italian, and Bella Donna's is the answer.

-Huxley

I love Tasty Buddha. Love it.

Their curry is really good (even with Brown Rice, which I normally don't eat), and you'll get a heaping portion for around $9. There's usually enough to put in a to-go container and have it again for lunch the next day. I could always use a bit more veggies in it, but I'd also like to sprout wings and fly to Europe. We can't have everything we want, exactly the way we want it.

What we can have, though, is something reasonably close to what we expect to get when ordering food at a restaurant. Typically, the farther the dish is from what we expected at any given place, the less likely we are to return.

Which is why I feel compelled to do more than just fill out the comment card located at every table in Tasty Buddha after I had one of their Turkey Burgers this month. It was so far from what I expected, that I suspect it might have been a mix-up with a Veggie Burger. Something in the back of my subconscious tells me this was no mix-up; that this indeed is their idea of what Turkey tastes like.

The patty was crumbly, oily, and mushy (instead of the firm, somewhat dry consistency one expects from a frozen turkey patty). Alone, the thing I got was tasteless. It was soft texture between veggies, sauce and a bun. It sort of reminded me of sand mixed with spit. I was sad.

The price I paid may have something to do with it. Buddha offers a Turkey Burger special that comes with Fries (which are pretty good when not undercooked) and a drink for only $6.95 (if I remember correctly). That's bang for your buck...or so it should be, which makes it all the more disappointing when it isn't any good.

Help me out, Buddha. Help your fellow G-villians out. Restore our faith. Fix your Turkey Burger. This hasn't stopped me from dining with you, but it scared me enough to avoid a whole section of your menu, and that means I won't be there as often as I would like to be.

Tasty Buddha, Sad Panda.    :(

-Hux

The internet is here for us all to bitch and moan upon, and so, I will.

Charging for water - In a town like Gainesville (or anywhere?), you will have a hard time generating customer loyalty whilst also charging people for the cup that you serve water in. If cups are too expensive for you to just give away, your business is in trouble. And your being in trouble shouldn't cause you to place the burden on the consumer. The banks tried to do that recently with proposed fees for using debit cards. Look what that got them: Customers moved their accounts to credit unions. Charge me for a cup of water, and I will frequent a place that doesn't. I'm looking at you, Coffee Houses.

Buy our WiFi - This is also something along the same line as charging for water. Wireless internet is a hot commodity for college students. Offering access for free will attract a lot of customers. However: Unless you are an Internet Cafe first and foremost, you should focus on selling the product you are in business to sell. Otherwise, you make your customers feel guilty for buying something just so they can check their Facebook while lounging in your shop. Chances are if you let them start off lounging first, they'll get restless and want to make a purchase.

Bicyclists - There are a lot of you in town, and I'm sure you all have your own opinions about this. I still think many of you are wrong. There are bicycle lanes, and those lanes have directions of travel indicated on them for a reason! It's so cars entering the main thoroughfare, who instinctively look to the left, will see you. Yes, yes, you are allowed by law to operate as a vehicle and enter the roadway if you act as if you are driving a car. That would be just fine if you would just do that properly. I have watched countless bikers run red lights, weave back and forth between the roadway and the sidewalk, and expect drivers entering and exiting main roadways to always yield to you as you haul ass from place to place as if your brakes (and brains) don't work. If I hit you with my car, it's not because I don't look. It's because you assume I see you.

Pedestrians - You also belong to that same circle of hell set aside for pompous bicyclists. Just because the law says everything but the Sun should yield to you doesn't mean they will, and it won't matter if you are "right" about that if you are dead. You also have the benefit of a full field of vision, while cars have blind spots. And your reaction time (for humans: 3/4ths of a second) is usually faster than a cars braking time. So next time you tell me your sob story about how this awful driver pulled out in front of you while you were crossing University (not at a crosswalk, probably), forgive me if I rub some salt in your road rash.

"Free" Tattoos - This is just stupid. "Buy-one-get-one Tattoos" is almost as horrifying a concept as the equipment used not being sterile. What kind of an idiot thinks that a tattoo shop that can "afford" such a practice will give them a quality job, or spend enough on cleanliness? I mean, if you want prison-quality tattoos without having to get arrested, this will do. Ever hear of the saying, "You get what you pay for?" A good tattoo is worth the cost, and a "BOGO" tattoo will cost you much more when getting it lasered off. Although, the concept does seem to have one endearing quality: It brings more dollars to legitimate tattoo parlors that do decent "Cover-up" jobs. If you hurry, you can even get over to one of those shops before your "BOGO" ink heals!

Chipotle portions - How come you put more meat in my food when it's dinner hours, and less during lunch hours? And I don't care if there's a huge line of people behind me. It shouldn't affect what I get. It certainly isn't affecting what I'm paying. I overhear, "Can I have some more" so often in Chipotle that I think I'm having flashbacks to that orphanage scene in "Oliver" or something.

The Scene - Your Arts and Entertainment coverage is a joke.

Bartenders - If a girl orders a foo foo drink that you know how to make, make it. Don't tell them that you don't want to right now because it's "too complicated" and you're busy. Do that, and you have just cost your bar one customer (and made yourself out to be an asshole). And you risk her boyfriend catching you in the parking lot after work.

That's all for now.

-Hux

Theatre-goers have plenty to see during Homecoming Weekend, aside from all the footballs fans and cheerleaders. Two fantastic plays are on stage right now, and both are worthy of attention. So get a friend, grab some change, and go!

The first is Turn of the Screw at the Hippodrome. Based on the classic ghost story, this psychological thriller is a spectacular tour-de-force for two actors. A young governess journeys to a lonely English manor house to care for two orphaned children in what she considers a dream job. But her dream turns into a nightmare as the house’s spectral inhabitants soon reveal themselves.

"The Turn of the Screw" Stage adaptation of Henry James story

 Showtimes are 7 p.m. Tuesdays and Wednesdays, 8 p.m. Thursdays and Fridays, 5 and 8:30 p.m. Saturdays, 2 and 7 p.m. Sundays through Nov. 6 

 Hippodrome Theatre, 25 SE Second Place 

 $25-$32, $20 seniors and military personnel, $12 students

375-4477 or www.thehipp.org

Also playing now is Oleanna at the Acrosstown Repertory Theatre. Oleanna is a thought-provoking play that looks at the issues of sexual harassment, education, society, gender issues, feminism, and authority. A college student is failing a class, and asks the professor for help. The only problem is knowing who is right and who is wrong. The story comes to a climax you will have to see to believe!

"Oleanna" by Pulitzer Prize Winning author and playwright David Mamet

October 28 – November 13, 2011

Performances will be Friday & Saturday nights at 8pm Sundays at 2pm with a talk back to follow every Sunday Performance. Door opens 30 minutes prior to show time.

Acrosstown Repertory Theatre, 619 S. Main St.

$10 General Admission $8 for Students, Educators, Military, and Seniors

Huxley here, wanting to tell you quickly about Occupy Gainesville.

They will be meeting Tomorrow, Wednesday October 12th, in front of the Bank of America on West University at 3pm before marching to Bo Diddley and City Hall.

They also meet every night at Bo Diddley as a General Assembly, which anyone may attend.

All the more reason to hire locals for whatever non-equity parts exist, as often as possible if not always.

I do acknowledge that being an Equity house is a commitment to making life harder on yourself in the hopes that you will attract better talent. Still, it's a challenge that theatres should rise to.

Considering how many acting students there are at both SFC and UF, it's sad that so very few of them end up performing at the Hipp.

It's nice that they do a show every year where they hire lots of kids, but kids don't have bills to pay.

"Did you send the Hippodrome an audition request and not get one?"

Are you implying that there is a possibility that people who have requested an opportunity to audition at the Hipp have been turned away or ignored, having not been given that chance? If so, I'd be interested to know on what grounds a person isn't worth seeing.

"KNOWN for using local talent"

Known? Who knows? Not the audience members. Let's look more closely at bios. Here's what I gather from bios in the Hipp's programs, which are mostly vague about whether or not these actors actually reside in Gainesville:

God of Carnage - Gainesville, LA, NY, ?

= 1 of 4

Suds - Jax, (NC)?, (NY)?, (NY)?

= 0 of 4

39 Steps - ?, Gainesville, NY, Gainesville

= 2 of 4

Serendib - ?, Orlando, Gainesville, NY, Brevard County, NY, NY?

= 1 of 7

End Days - Gainesville, Gainesville, ?, Gainesville, Gainesville

= 4 of 5

That's 8 of 24 actors that are definitely from Gainesville according to their bios. 33% is not impressive. What is impressive is when a professional theatre that can afford New York talent chooses to stay local, to its own success or detriment. Some of these Florida theatres I base that notion on don't even get grant money from local government, so there's no moral obligation.

The Hippodrome does have an obligation, however, as it gets grant money from the City, County, and State. That's money Gainesville residents pay in taxes. That's my money. Our money. That makes the Hipp our theatre.

In return for our funding, I suggest the Hippodrome begin stating more clearly in their programs where these actors live and work currently. I want to know (not guess) that my taxes are being spent to keep Gainesville actors in Gainesville.

Hey folks, Hux here.

Just want to draw your attention to Gainesvilleactivities.com (and their facebook page: www.facebook.com/GainesvilleActivities)

wait wait wait. Am I pretentious because I'm anonymous, or am I downplaying my standards because I've got all that community theatre cash in my damp little palms? (and really, I know you were just setting that up to make a dig at the production values, but lol forever at the idea of the ART having enough money to pay for a mild review on a blog that about sixteen people read)

The Hippodrome opens its 39th season with Yasmina Reza's God of Carnage tonight, and the preview I attended last night guarantees that this show will do well. The Hippodrome has chosen a great play, cast it will very capable actors, and did their best to make the laughs count. They even went so far as to have their Producing Director, Mary Hausch, direct it as opposed to the over-worked Artistic Director, Lauren Caldwell.

A quick synopsis: Parents "A" are over at Parents "B's" house to be consulted about what to do about "A's" kid smashing "B's" kid in the face with a stick, bloodying his face up. Laughs, fights, and some bodily functions ensue.

There were, as there almost always are, a few flaws with the Hipp's attempt. The most confusing thing occurred right off the bat. The apartment (or house?) that the play is set in is owned not by the rich lawyer and his wife in "wealth management," but by the other set of parents, one a housewares dealer and the other an academic writing about African culture and tragedies. This couple may be "new rich", but this place is too posh for them. Its sterility and modernity seems more like what the lawyer-and-wife's house would look like. I spent the first few minutes of the play sitting in confusion about this.

Aside from the set design snafu, the play is well acted. There are, however, some moments that I wonder, "Is this the actor making a choice, or the director making it?"  For example, long silences that almost entice the audience to start inventing dialogue of their own (as one man did last night about how warm it was beginning to get in the theatre, and wondering when the intermission will be - there isn't one, as ushers made a point of saying to everyone as they tore tickets - maybe ushers should also be checking hearing-aid batteries?).

Or how about one actress starting a war cry of a scream as she charged from one end of the set to the other before jumping on her husband in a "fury" about his attitude? I think it gave a joke away prematurely. I'd personally laugh a lot harder if she very calmly, quietly walked over to him, met with him eye to eye, and then suddenly burst out screaming, flailing, and slapping away at point blank range. But hey, that's me.

Tim Altmeyer's "Alan" started off a bit too early with his Chandler-from-Friends-esque attitude. I'd like to see a smoother progression from...say, Greg Kinnear to Jason Bateman, and then Matthew Perry closer to the end of the play. And what's with the amount of yelling Benjamin Burdick's "Michael" does in the play? Is that in the script? There were certainly some lines that didn't have to be delivered at the top of his lungs in order to get the point across. In fact, it may be more powerful if said more calmly.

Kim Mead's "Annette" seems so broken down by the breaking of a compact she never used earlier in the scene, and "Alan" is never attacked for using the same "blame the victim" tactics he uses with the company he represents in defense of his son's savagery. These seem like missed opportunities, which may be holes in the play itself rather than in Hausch's rendition.

And what about the casting? Although these actors are wonderful choices, only one in four seems (from their bios) to be living locally. And considering how often each of these performers have been cast in Hipp shows, I wonder: Does the Hipp ever audition anyone at all? It's one thing to have favorites, and another to be closed-minded. Being an Equity house doesn't force you to cast Equity (last I checked), and many professional theatres in Florida have at least an annual, open-to-the-public audition day for the upcoming season. The Hipp, with their casting choices, has sent the following message to local talent: Move out of Gainesville. It seems with all the support, publicity, and money Gainesville has given the Hippodrome, their casting practices don't seem to return the favor.

Don't get me wrong, though - this show was great and all four actors displayed their experience in full force. I just see some minor flaws in an otherwise fantastic performance by all. This show will do very well indeed, and I feel personally (as a young-un) that the Hipp should keep choosing plays like this.

Think off-Broadway, not on-Broadway. Considering all the free season passes they recently gave away to 18 to 25 year olds, I wonder how many of them will want to see a show like this versus...say, something like Suds - It's uncomfortable being the only person that doesn't have grey hair in the audience. "What are these songs? Free admission is hardly a consolation. Old people smell. This is boring," I imagine them thinking.

God of Carnage, however, would definitely appeal to a younger audience - and aren't future subscribers more important to a theatre's survival at this day and age, with movies being downloadable and all? Why come to a theatre and pay to park in a space that took an hour to find, when you can sit at home with a bootleg of "Jurassic Park 5" a day before release and smoke a doobie? Musical revues just won't get those people off their couches, and Theatre as we know it will die with the Baby Boomers that still support such campy, reminiscent garbage. Out with the old, in with the new!

-Huxley

God of Carnage

by Yasmina Reza translated by Christopher Hampton

Produced & Directed by: Mary Hausch

August 31 - September 25

The Hippodrome Theatre

Fifi here! This is a wordy one, get ready.

The Acrosstown Repertory Theatre has opened its new season with You Know I Can't Hear You When the Water's Running, a collection of four one-acts following the threads of human sexuality and connection. Word from the theatre is that this show has seen very healthy houses, including two sold out nights. Good on them! The ART is in the midst of a fairly significant overhaul of their facility and community presence, and a well-attended first show justifies an optimistic view of the rest of the season.

Each one act stands on its own, and with one exception each role is filled by a unique actor. The play opens with "The Shock of Recognition," an argument between a playwright and his agent over the acceptability of displaying full frontal male nudity on a live stage. Playwright Jack Barnstable (Quinn Lundquist) argues that the artistic integrity of his vision will be compromised unless the audience is able to recognize themselves in the "ridiculous and pathetic" sight of a nude man brushing his teeth in the morning; his agent Herb (Kurt Orwicz) is adamant that such a spectacle will propel audiences to exit the theatre en masse. After interrogating Herb's secretary (Becky Hamilton), both men use the hapless, eager-to-please actor Richard Pawling (Steve Bates) as a pawn to prove their respective points. "The Shock of Recognition" acts as a microcosm for You Know... as a whole: the characters discuss art imitating life and the (fictional) audience finding themselves in the exposure of mundane details on stage, much as the (actual) audience is meant to see their own relationships in the scenarios to follow. It's a strong opener, and genitalia jokes are always a rich seam to mine for laughs. The comedy in this first act is a bit broader than it is in the rest of the play. Orwicz punctuates his critiques of Barnstable's philosophy with slightly clumsy gyrations, while Lundquist blusters and flushes through the blunt talk his character seems to be pushing for. Hamilton is delightful in her brief moments onstage, and is criminally underused in the production as a whole. Bates is just as pathetic as he needs to be as the milquetoast everyman Pawling, whose desperation to snag a part insincerely offered him escalates into cringing embarrassment for all parties involved. With the second act, the tone becomes more sedate. "The Footsteps of Doves" observes a middle aged couple shopping for separate twin beds after over twenty years of sharing a mattress. Husband George (David Aiken) is loathe to part with nights of sleeping in a cozy tangle of limbs and dreads having to walk across the room to have sex with his wife (there's a weird segment of dialogue where he mixes the images of easily available intimacy and snuggling baby animals, but we'll chalk it up to the age of the piece). Harriet (Sally Kimberly) is tired of compromising her comfort and health for her husband's desires. While she heads upstairs to discuss delivery logistics with the unsettling, Lynchian salesman (Sam Richardson, with a wonderfully rigor-mortised showman's grin), George strikes up a conversation with Jill (Miranda Brooks), a lithe young divorcée who agrees with his reluctance to switch to separate beds (and implies none too subtly that if George misses sleeping in a double bed, well, that happens to be what she's shopping for). This scene seems to draw its humor from a middle aged married couple talking about their sex lives (mothers, hide your children) and the suggestion of May-December infidelity (heavens to Betsy, this woman is forward!). Aiken and Kimberly are both strong performers; they appear comfortable enough to have been married for twenty-odd years and their arguments are delivered with the kind of half-hearted irritation that comes of repeating a conversation for the dozenth time. Brooks is essentially playing the same character she did in Butterflies are Free - a young divorcée named Jill (uncanny coincidence) who sashays around the stage to inspire a man with her free spirit and sex appeal. Her object just happens to be a married man undergoing a midlife crisis instead of a blind man this time. The interaction between Brooks and Aiken would likely have been more effective had Brooks retracted her claws a bit - as it was played, her interest in him seemed so clear that it was a wonder George stayed behind to wait for his wife instead of following her up the stairs. For the most part, however, this was a well-acted scene that dialed down the tone to more serious matters, preparing the audience for the third act. "I'll Be Home For Christmas" centers on another middle-aged couple, Chuck and Edith (played by Jerry Rose and Dorothy Field). Chuck, home early from work and indulging in a cigar and a six-pack, mystifies his wife with his presence; however, she takes the opportunity to inform him that their teenage son is apparently masturbating (audience, clutch those pearls!) and it is his duty to let him know that such sexual expression is not shameful, but normal. Chuck's discomfort with the idea only grows as his wife moves on to the subject of putting their teenage daughter on birth control and then her lax attitude concerning Chuck's real or imagined infidelity. Eventually the scene turns from spats on the best way to deal with a child's developing sexuality to a frank exposure of the incompatibility of Chuck and Edith as a couple. Becky Hamilton returns as Clarice, their teenage daughter, and the actors try their best to make the most of a script at its weakest point. The greatest problem with this play is how dated it is - what would cause an audience to shift in their seats in 1967 would barely elicit a blink today. Teenaged girls taking responsibility for their reproductive health just isn't as shocking as it once was, and the struggle for the audience to sympathize with this issue is complicated by the script's tendency in this act to dip into schmaltz. Rose and Field did not seem quite as comfortable in their relationship as some of the other couples did, but this may have worked to their benefit as the scene progressed to revealing just how ill suited for each other they may be. The play ends with "I'm Herbert," a dialogue between a husband and wife, neither of whom are the first go-round for the other. The humor in this scene circles back around to broad comedy of misunderstandings, as Herbert (David Minnich) and Muriel (Jennie Stringfellow) confuse each other for former spouses dead or divorced, talking over each other to correct the misunderstandings they're so sure the other make. Minnich and Stringfellow are a pleasure to watch; their rapport is genuine and they fall into the conversational patterns that accompany couples well used to each other. Of course it's funny to observe their confidence in what we know to be the wrong name, but the scene ends up to be surprisingly sweet and poignant - not a bad end, compared to the dysfunctional relationships we've observed before this point. You Know... is a safe bet for the Acrosstown. The content isn't too alarming, despite the cheeky raciness of the poster. The script was chosen for how applicable the situations would be to an audience - take that with a grain of salt, of course, as an older spectator might sigh nostalgically while a savvier 20-something wouldn't be able to keep from commenting on how heteronormative it is. It's a solid season opener, though, and it's getting butts in seats (which is a fairly big concern for any theatre, but especially the ART). If you're down with grinning through some cheesiness and a quaint portrayal of how-things-were in order to support a local theatre, this show is definitely recommended. The ART is kicking off Sunday matinée talkbacks this season, if that sort of thing tickles your fancy. Also strongly recommended: buying your ticket ahead of time. Houses are selling out and if you really want to see it, spend the extra effort to get over to Book Gallery West. It's the last weekend! Get on that. You Know I Can't Hear You When the Water's Running (by Robert Anderson) August 19th - September 4th, 2011 Friday & Saturday: 8 p.m., Sunday: 2 p.m. $10 General Admission, $8 Students, Seniors, Military and Educators (presale at Book Gallery West or available cash-only at the door) Acrosstown Repertory Theatre 619 S Main Street

Breakfast: The Jones Eastside

401 NE 23rd Avenue

(352) 373-6777

Open Daily 8am-10pm

www.thejoneseastside.com

The Jones has been around Gainesville for about four years now and they're pretty well known. They're nestled in that niche of hip, just-this-side-of-twee restaurants that also holds The Top, Boca Fiesta and arguably Satchel's (I'm going to argue against that, though, so hang on to your ticket stubs). Their mission seems to be split evenly between revitalizing the economy of east Gainesville and providing "sustainable, local, and organic food" to their clients. If you've lucked out and hooked up with the kind of cutie who wears raspberry corduroy and gingham headwraps, toting a canvas satchel stuffed with flyers for the next acoustic open mic, this is the place to take them to breakfast if you're trying to impress. It's real cute in there. The walls are brightly painted, there's a giant chalkboard with specials and drink offerings accompanied by charming illustrations, and they regularly feature work by local artists. It's small - maybe ten tables and a bar, and you can peek back to the kitchen. There are a couple of outdoor tables, but I imagine the place is pretty slammed on Sunday mornings (we went on a Saturday, around ten-thirty and just managed to snag a table). When we were there the staff was composed of stunning pixie-haired gamines on the floor and suave urban lumberjacks in the kitchen. Do you watch 30 Rock? You know how Liz Lemon goes to Cleveland and is a knockout, instead of the agitated frump she's seen as in New York? Well, New York City is to The Jones as Cleveland is to Gainesville. But you're not going just to ogle the staff! (If you are you're an asshole. Cut that out.) Let's get down to brass tacks and talk about the food. The Jones has the basic breakfast menu offering variations on the themes of egg, starch (in pancake, French toast, biscuit or potato forms) and protein (both animal and soy). We ordered the Breakfast Sammie ($7.50) and the Eastside Potatoes ($5.50). The sandwich, despite its cutesy name, is a pretty solid deal - eggs or tofu with lettuce, tomato and sprouts and your choice of bread and cheese (they have a respectable variety of both). Plus you get homefries or grits with it! Not bad. A little light on the sprouts, I thought, but then I really dig sprouts. (We had sweet tea, too, which would have been fabulous if it hadn't tasted really diluted. It had the perfect amount of sugar, though.) The menu has a lot of options; expect to pay at least $5 unless you're getting one lonely dish off the à la carte menu (cheapest thing approaching a full meal: one cup of grits for ninety-five cents). It's good, obviously quality food, but my ultimate opinion is that you're mostly paying for the fact that the ingredients are local and organic and the Portlandia-esque ambiance. I mean, look how much more I wrote about how the place looks than about the food itself. If you're able to buy these ingredients yourself, these dishes are all supremely easy to make at home. The lunch menu I find a little more intriguing (buffalo mozzarella? Is that made with actual buffalo milk? I want to find out). It's worth checking out if you've never been before (and, you know, you want to bowl over that sweet young thing you brought home from the poetry slam), but I think I'll do just fine recreating their breakfast recipes at home.

One important note: they don't accept plastic. You'll need cash or (oddly? quaintly?) a checkbook. There's no ATM inside the building, so come prepared. Maybe soon they will join the rest of us in the 21st century?

Lunch: Adam’s Rib Co.

2111 Northwest 13th Street

(352) 373-8882

Open Mon-Sat 7am-9pm

www.adamsribco.com

I’ve had lunch here a number of times and keep coming back (I’m close to getting the six hole punches needed on the card to get a free meal!)  If you want to get your money’s worth, this is a great place for lunch.  Just $10 will get you a lot at Adam’s, but I wouldn’t suggest loading up on an appetizer unless you are starving, as their portions are quite large.  Think Sonny’s BBQ, but with local charm.

My favorite meal is the Smoked Turkey Dinner, served with choice of two sides and garlic toast for just 8.99. Their Macaroni and Cheese is well-seasoned and cheesy, though usually a bit soft, and the seasoned fries always come out just right. Add an oversized drink to that and you’ll be in Hogtown Heaven. And don’t forget to grab a free refill while you pay the check!

I wouldn’t suggest the quarter-pound burger (seemed frozen and undercooked) or the spicy chicken sandwich (the oil used for spice is a bit greasy, and gave me a stomach ache), but it seems like BBQ ribs are their bread and butter. I wouldn’t suggest going to Adam’s between 5pm and 7pm during the week, as the rush for carry-out ribs will slow service down for anyone dining in (although Adam’s is well staffed, and they do their best to ensure you are having a good experience.)

Give it a try and you will definitely want to grab a Buy-6-Get-1 card on your way out.

Dinner: Satchel's Pizza

1800 NE 23rd Avenue

352 335 7272

Open Tuesday - Saturday 11 a.m. - 10 p.m.

www.satchelspizza.com Satchel's! It's one of those Gainesville institutions by now, I think, and probably the inspiration for places like The Jones - 'quirky' restaurant decorated in bright colors with lots of art, offering dishes with clever names and lots of veggies, and located far to the east of the part of town considered to be a viable place to start a business. Satchel's opened in 2003 as a small pizza place with a few mobiles tossed around. One of my best episodes of skipping high school (and only, to be honest - I was way square) was spent at Satchel's right after they opened. I had a slice of pizza with broccoli and ricotta cheese for something like two fifty. They're a little more expensive now, but still way reasonable given how good everything is, and they've achieved the admirable task of getting really successful, expanding their facility, but not sacrificing the quality of the product. Their success has only enabled them to expand their menu. Granted, it's not that hard to mess up pizza, and their offerings are pretty basic - pizza in pies or slices, calzones, a house salad. The appeal of Satchel's is that they take these simple staples, prepare them exceptionally well, and provide almost infinite opportunities for customization. They have the classic toppings like pepperoni, sausage, pineapple, olives, and mushrooms, but you can also get artichoke hearts, basil, spinach, or tempeh. We got a medium pesto pizza, where tomato sauce is replaced by pesto. They recommend three toppings for this - we went with extra cheese and then a sausage half for Huxley, because he is a traditionalist, and artichoke hearts for me, because I am fancy. This trick saved us a buck-fifty on the price ($20 for a three-topping medium with six slices, $27 for a large with eight). Get a salad. Get a damn salad. It's six bucks for one that can feed up to four people. Their dressing is made in-house from a recipe concocted by Satchel's wife with the express purpose of getting people who don't like salad to change their minds. It's amazing. I want to drink it straight. I want to wear it as perfume. I want to drown in it. Satchel's has a rather haphazard organization - they've added on lots of outdoor seating areas, including a VW bus with a table inside, and there's a treehouse in the back. There's a swell back patio where there's often live music. If you go on a weekend night it will be crowded. Honestly it will probably be crowded any evening you go; folks love this place. Expect at least a twenty-minute wait; longer if you're picky about where you want to sit. Happily, the charming Lightnin' Salvage Junk Museum/Five and Dime is around to help you kill time, and Satchel has a ton of art installations around the restaurant and parking lot (La Mère de Fifi has contributed to some of these. Vive la mère).

These installations might strike some people as achingly cutesy, and perhaps the collagey, handwritten style of the menu and signage will put some people off. I never get this impression, though - everything there really just seems to be there because Satchel thinks it's cool, and as cheesy (HA) as it sounds, a similar philosophy comes through in the food. It's not complicated stuff, but it's stupid good, and if you go there on a Saturday night you'll see high school kids, families with toddlers, and middle aged folks with their friends or kids or parents or all of the above. It's nice. I feel really attached to Satchel's; I think a lot of Gainesville people do. I'm glad it's probably going to stick around for a while. A single slice is $3; toppings are fifty cents each. They bottle that liquid ecstasy of a salad dressing and sell it at Lightnin' Salvage. And, like the Jones, Satchel's is cash only. There is an ATM in-house, however, and the $1.50 processing fee is donated to charity. Rad, right?