Shingeki no Kyojin Headcanons

This is not a dull subject nor has it been asked before! With regards to beauty standards of the wealthy, in a setting that’s explicitly patterned off of what looks to be Late Middle Ages/Early Modern Europe, I think yours is a fairly logical rationale.

18th century Europe, 17th century, hell, go back 13th century even—if we look at portraits of most well-off persons from those eras (and not just in Europe!), they were all generally depicted to be pale (either from lack of light exposure or artificially achieved via powder), with soft/rounded features and face paint/cosmetic enhancement of some sort and form. The paleness can be tied to the idea (one that is pervasive in many cultures) that darker skin indicates your regular involvement in manual labour, which usually takes place outdoors; which means regular sun-exposure; which is something only people without money have to do; and which is thus undesirable. Then there’s the soft/rounded features in both body and face; I’d posit that this particular ideal wouldn’t just be attributable to having access to rich/a lot of foods, but would also tie back to the utter lack of strenuous physical activity.

Now, outside of Sina, the beauty standards may be drastically different—especially the further away you get from the capital (influence being inversely proportional to distance). They might emphasize attire/cosmetics/what personal belonging is on display, moreso than the particularities of fleshy contours. There might have developed standards where, in the absence of good means to control your bodily appearance, the focus would probably shift to even more external aspects. Instead of “My body is literally a physical embodiment of my wealth and since my wealth is beautiful, so am I” it would be a “This accessory is beautiful, and since it’s on me, so am I.”  

So in short, for the most likely beauty standards that would be alive and kicking in Sina, and especially of those in the upper class, it’s more likely than not that soft-and-voluptuous was the way to go about impressing your peers. It makes sense that a glorification of an “All play and no work” standard of living would naturally result in aesthetics that properly reflect such standards. 

A/N: After missing my self-imposed deadline of snk-notes' first year anniversary, I've finally managed to push through with the last few rumours. Huzzah for perseverance! Coming up with 100 rumours alone was definitely harder than I thought it'd be and damn did it take a long time.

Dedication: For gestahlt, my partner-in-crime when it comes to the irreverent practice of slathering crack onto everything you hold dear. Happy belated first-year anniversary to snk-notes!

For more rumours: 100 Rumours Concerning the Recon Squad Leaders, Erwin Smith, & Dott Pixis

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More Rumours Concerning Captain Levi

001) Captain Levi almost killed a person during one of his cleaning sprees.

002) Captain Levi almost killed Squad Leader Hanji during one of his cleaning sprees.

003) Captain Levi once disemboweled a guy with the remains of a broken teacup.

004) They say that Captain Levi joined the military only because Commander Erwin promised him a growth-spurt and used Squad Leader Mike as an example.

005) Captain Levi can't climb onto his own horse without assistance.

006) When Captain Levi visits the sick bay, infection rates drop by 30% immediately thereafter.

007) Captain Levi suffers from constipation. That's why he always looks the way he does.

008) Captain Levi suffers from constipation. That's why he's so obsessed with shit and shit jokes.

009) At the last Annual Military Summit, Captain Levi attempted to polish Commander Pixis' head with his cravat and nobody tried to stop him.

010) Captain Levi once won a horse in a card game.

Prior to the fall of Wall Maria, the Wall inhabitants probably had a lot more to celebrate for and with. Given the throwback nature of the society within the Walls, however, festivities and holidays probably correspond to astronomical/lunar/seasonal phenomena/political machinations. So while there isn't necessarily such a thing as “Christmas” (or even Yule), the people do have a major winter holiday by celebrating the Winter Solstice. (“Congratulations on surviving another winter! An extra loaf of bread for all!”) And likewise, a major warm weather event would likely take place during the summer solstice as well. ("Hurray! The sun is shining, the day is damn long, and we're still alive! Vine for everybody! Even the kids, yes, you too little Pixis! You too.")

The government encourages such festivities--the secular ones at least--to keep the masses content/occupied.  

Various sub-populations of the Wall inhabitants may have their own unique holidays as well, depending on the makeup of the collective heritage and/or local history. The Wall cultists may observe the day the Walls were completed as their religious new year (the date of which could be arbitrarily defined or could be passed down and actually be accurate, we may never know). The economics of Inner Sina may lend itself to some form of "Lovers' Day" or other commercially involved affair. And of course, the King's birthday would likely call for some mandatory celebration.

This is not discounting, of course, the possibility that most, if not all, major pre-Wall era holidays somehow survived to be passed down as antiquated traditions, then modified as times and needs saw fit. But not all major pre-Wall holidays are made equal. One festival in particular met its unfortunate end shortly after the fallout from the Colossal Titan's decision to lovingly introduce his foot to Wall Maria like a particularly large and steamy wrecking ball. Because while it may have been, once upon a time, perfectly harmless to dress up as the stuff nightmares are made of, after one too many incidents involving military veterans and hordes of children-sized Titans menacing them for sweetmeats, the government had to ultimately ban that particular tradition by royal decree. 

Oh god, I am far from worthy, much less deserving of being missed. But thank you so much for being understanding and for such a sweet message! Seriously, it made my night when I first received it and continues to make me smile. I think I'll be a little more free this month to get caught up with fandom (fingers crossed! knock on wood!). And am definitely going to try harder to carve out time/motivation to produce more quality crack.

Tumblr was so kind to notify me via email as to what a terrible person I am and how I completely missed this blog's first year anniversary. And then this kind of happened. 

((Jotting this down so I won't forget.))

Erwin Smith. Erwin Smith. How do I even begin to explain Erwin Smith?

Erwin Smith is ruthless.

He has two fashionable wings and a diamond bolo.

I hear his brain is / eyebrows are insured for a year's supply of meat.

I hear he does motivational speaking. In the slums. 

His favourite opera is Don't Cry for Me Wall Maria.

One time he met Commander Pixis on top of Wall Maria. And Pixis told him he was sexy.

Handwriting forgery was a skill he developed from a young age. First by learning to mimic his father's handwriting; then, those of his classmates'.

As Erwin grew older, he quickly realised the practical use of such a skill in the political arena and polished it to the point where he can now forge most writing styles and signatures of all the highest ranking government officials.

Erwin doesn't limit himself to only the penmanship of the aristocracy though. A man must practice to keep his skills sharp, and Erwin Smith is nothing if not a pragmatist.

I do have headcanons for some of the other 104th squadrons actually—usually involving childhood shenanigans. (I love shenanigans. I mean, just imagine the variations of trouble Eren, Mikasa, and Armin most likely got into as wee kids, or the magical journey Sasha went through to become a baller teenage hunter. Dude, Sasha foraging in the woods and learning what’s edible, what’s not edible, and what will get you higher than the Walls.)

But the truth is, most of those headcanons have been/are probably heavily influenced by  fandom-hivemind already so I usually just don’t bother. And besides, I still find it infinitely easier to headcanon for older, supporting characters with spotty pasts. And the really simplified reason why: with characters that have less room for more character growth, there’s less of a chance of being completely jossed. 

Oh, I think I’ve actually seen the massive theory post that really advances that belief! Alas, his on-screen death (or, if you will, the very convincing insinuation of his demise) happened before my brain drew the protective lines that make up my NO-MORE-DEATHS-BEYOND-THIS-POINT headcanon sandbox.

Why would you share this anon. Such sad. So pain. No.

Let me fix that for you:

((Begin headcanon))

Marco is at heart a romantic of sorts, and often enjoyed star-gazing. When Jean found out that Marco liked to star-gaze, he wasted no time in procuring semi-permanent ink with which to vandalise Marco's face while he slept. With Armin's help, Jean was able to map out no less than 3 major constellations on Marco's freckles.

... and if one of the constellations ended up looking remarkably phallic, well, that's only because Armin told him to connect the wrong stars before realising his mistake, okay. 

I can’t remember if we ever did make an official announcement (probably not?), but yes indeed, anon, that was a Mambo No. 5 reference.  Gestahlt and I have a questionable habit of slipping in modern day pop culture references as easter eggs. :’) Sometimes it’s just more convenient and fun than coming up with new names and all that jazz.