women be downloading pdfs

if shes your girl whys she standing shrouded in shadow and speaking in tongues in the corner of MY room

modern we didn’t start the fire

[puts several things in my coat pockets] inventory

another thing abt percy jackson that is so funny is when he gets to new rome & he’s like “wait there are ADULT demigods here?? who are alive???? and living????” cuz camp halfblood is just like Imma Be Real With You Chief: You WILL Die Before 25

u ever want to sit a man down and tell him straight up he is nowhere near as smart as he thinks he is

phone games blocking out your clock in the UI is like how casinos don’t have any windows send tweet

cake with fondant literally isn’t even food it’s like a play dough sculpture with cake trapped inside its vile

thank you for your bravery in speaking the truth about this

if you like danny devito…….and getting caught in the rain……..

it’s really frustrating how you have to wait like, 2 weeks before you can drink milk after you buy it. i know you gotta wait for the date on the bottle but like why cant the store just sell the milk thats ready?