the big bad booty daddy

Thinking about a vampire dude bro who won't drink girl blood- because he's afraid it will estroginise him soy products style- getting trapped in a mental cage when he learns vampire dude who only bites other dudes reads as gay

apparently the director of the no fucking til marriage movie is like "it's not the sex purge movie, that's not what it's about" but my guy I'm sorry you made the sex purge movie. that's what you did. like describe it however you want but conceptually the film is about a nation wide sex fest on the one day a year fucking is permitted by the state, that's a sex purge. the film can be about a wholesome romance happening during the sex purge but it is definitely the sex purge.

kind of embarrasing when your life is actually going pretty well but you still have mental health problems. it's like when you drink water but still have a headache like what the hell. you're telling me this isn't because of the Situations i'm actually just like this. i want a refund.

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.

hey do u mind if I fetishize you. What why are you upset I'm doing it wokely and gayly. No you don't understand I'm objectifying you empowering style. You should be grateful someone like you is getting this attention like you shouldn't be looking a gift horse in the mouth with what you've got going on. Why are you mad