the big bad booty daddy

kind of embarrasing when your life is actually going pretty well but you still have mental health problems. it's like when you drink water but still have a headache like what the hell. you're telling me this isn't because of the Situations i'm actually just like this. i want a refund.

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.

hey do u mind if I fetishize you. What why are you upset I'm doing it wokely and gayly. No you don't understand I'm objectifying you empowering style. You should be grateful someone like you is getting this attention like you shouldn't be looking a gift horse in the mouth with what you've got going on. Why are you mad

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

i always wondered how animals process this or if they even care. like wow you grew up fast... oh... oh you're still uhh going... oh wow, STILL going huh? okay can you STOP