I was heavily abused as a child, it didn't matter who it was, every adult around us was unsafe, (being me and other children, I'm not a system), I won't describe anything graphic but they used religion as a way to keep us quiet and to justify their actions.

There was a girl I lived next to, we went to school together, suffered the same abuse and around 1st-2nd grade we started doing the same to each other, we only stopped because in 5th grade her mom caught us. I don't think she remembers anything, she never mentions it even when I try to hint at our childhoods (always something like "you remember that building?" never my feelings, never anything bad), I still see her almost every day, but I remember. I feel guilty, I don't remember who started it, I hope it wasn't me, I think it was her idea, I think I was too quiet and god fearing. I think part of me loves her? the younger, meaner version of her? I'm disgusted by it. I can't find it in me to be attracted to anyone else, I've tried and I know it's wrong on so many levels, I'm not religious anymore but if ever I've committed any sin it's letting her stay in my life. I'm disgusted, and I don't even know what's wrong with me? It's not a paraphilic disorder, but I know it stems from abuse. I'll be 19 soon, she's 20, she's getting married, wants me to be her bridesmaid, and I'm still stuck with this guilt I can't even name? I want to change, I want to be normal like her, where do I even start when the best I can do is an anon tumblr post from a burner account?

Okay I'm so sorry for the late response, but honestly what I would recommend is trying to find a therapist and after some time offering her to come into one of the sessions to talk about the trauma, it's going to be scary and you have to not be afraid of the unknown

And probably a good thing is that she probably doesn't remember it and if she does she's hoping that maybe you won't bring it up and that you're able to still be friends despite what happened, the fact that she is making you her bridesmaid is honestly amazing.

Would you be willing to explain what "pro recovery , anti contact" means ?

Pro recovery - it means someone is accepting of people getting recovery through therapy, help, rehab, etc.

Tw: Abuse, zoophilia stuff, imagined violence

Not gonna reveal my age, but I am under 16. I can't exactly get up and leave where I live without being seen as a runaway (trust me, I've tried in the past. The risk of getting caught is not worth it.) I also have no family I can go to. Either they're in prison, dead, or like my parents. I'm just hoping CPS says something. My therapist said she'll try what she can to get me out, but obviously no guarantees.

Also my dad is looking up more puppy adoptions I actually want to strangle him I don't want another animal for him to force me onto. I don't get why he does this at all. I just want it all to end. Sometimes I think of just stabbing both my parents. I say both because my mom knows and doesn't care. I don't get how she can't care. 🌧

If you have proof of him harming the last dog please call police and show them it, tell them that you don't feel safe at the house.

-#@

Please tag this with whatever needs to be tagged, i really don't know. Sorry.

I'm 15 years old now, and throughout my preteen years and partially teen years, i was sexually abused by multiple perpetrators and groomed many times. All of them were older than me by at least a few years. The abuse that i went through ruined my brain. I can't stop randomly thinking about disgusting things, i feel so ashamed. I know what i think of is wrong. I know its just the product of it happening to me.

Is there such a thing as a reverse pedophile? I'm scared. I can't stop thinking of people who are older than me finding me attractive because I'm young and taking advantage of my vulnerability. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't want my brain to see that as a good or acceptable or romantic/sexual thing. I don't want to like it. I know it's awful. I don't want to get abused again. I even used to post photos of myself and make sure it said i was a minor (not explicit or anything) just so that people who were older than me would DM me terrible things about what they think of me. It's so shameful. I just don't know what to do.

I'm not sure if there's a name for it, you could look into hypersexuality (as it can be caused by grooming and making you seek out people who are the type that harmed you)

Uhhh update ig

[TW: Animal death, Abuse, Zoophilia]

Our dad killed the dog. Infront of us. I'm not gonna go into detail for obvious reasons. I mourn him but I'm happy he can at least be without pain.

We told our therapist both the events in the previous ask and this one. She called CPS. And she said she's happy we told her. She said it wasn't our fault, yet I still can't believe that. I know logically she's right, we were literally forced onto him, but it still feels like our fault that the dog suffered. It still feels like it's our fault he died.

I wish I could escape this house. I'm scared CPS will do nothing like the billions of other times.

Depending on your age you can request to be taken out the house and moved to another family members house or a friend house, I think it's around 16?

The dog probably didn't gaf anon

What if, and just what if: your dad deserves to die and not you? Let's hope he gets gang raped

We probably shouldn't be saying animals don't give a fuck, Not healthy to say

I don't wanna be mean but wtf??? Nothing justifies that??????

how are you doing today tho?

-#@

-#@

-✧

do you have any advice on how to forgive myself for what i did? its genuinely the worst thing ive ever ever done, and i just...dont know how to get through it.

i cant really tell my therapist because im a minor and shes most definitely gonna snitch on me, i just wanna know how to stop letting those memories bother me that much. its gotten to the point where it affects my sleep and my insomnias coming back.

-⁠✧

So the first part of being able to forgive yourself is being able to accept what happened was bad, and that you cannot change what happened in the past. And that over time as you grow in your recovery you'll be able to realize that what you did in the past does not define who you are today, there's going to be days where if you feel like shit and that's perfectly okay

Our past mistakes are a learning curve, they give us the motivation to keep fighting, to realize that that was something that you shouldn't do and you will never make that same mistake again

Something I was always told by my band director was "you can have a bad past, you could have been a god-awful person. That doesn't mean that you in this moment are the same person who you were in your past, take those mistakes, those bad things that you did and grow from them except your failures and come to terms with the fact that you're wrongdoings are what led you to be who you are today"

They are trying to limit a lot more

Here's an overview on what the bill entails.

"First, KOSA would allow the government to pressure social media platforms to erase content that could be deemed “inappropriate” for minors. The problem is: there is no consensus on what is inappropriate for minors. All across the country we are seeing how lawmakers are attacking young people’s access to gender affirming healthcare, sex education, birth control, and abortion. Online communities and resources that queer and trans youth depend on as lifelines should not be subject to the whims of the most rightwing extremist powers and we shouldn’t give them another tool to harm marginalized communities.

Second, KOSA would ramp up the online surveillance of all internet users by expanding the use of age verification and parental monitoring tools. Not only are these tools needlessly invasive, they’re a massive safety risk for young people who could be trying to escape domestic violence and abuse.

Dozens of LGBTQ+ and civil rights groups agree that KOSA is dangerous and updates to the bill haven’t addressed the core concerns advocates have about its impact on already often censored content and resources. "

Please sign the bill that is trying to stop this bill from being passed