Juno

why is it the second i'm left alone i feel like i have nothing left to live for.

sorry, i got my crippling fear of abandonment and my intensive jealousy from my mom haha

I hate bpd. I hate this. I hate me. Why am I like this? Why do I ruin every good thing I have going for me out of fear I’ll get hurt, I do it to myself. I hate that I overthink until my head explodes. I hate that I can’t love without crippling obsession. I hate that my happiness revolves around them no matter how hard I try to hide it. I feel so fucking awful for him to be my fp and lover. He must be so exhausted. I don’t blame him. I get tired of me to. But for some reason I don’t know when to shut up. Why can’t I just shut the fuck up for once and appreciate what I have? I have this incessant need to speak my mind when my mind is my biggest enemy. But I always fight for everything. I leave claw marks in everything I’ve ever loved. But thats why I say LOVED and not LOVE. Because I dig into them so deep that it cuts and they leave. WHAT THE FUCK. I know my man says he loves me and isn’t tired of me. But I feel something coming. Something bad. It’s in my gut, my bones, my blood. I’m terrified.

benzo withdrawal so bad im about to crash out so bad

My mom took away my benzos because she thinks that they make me “look like a zombie.” And so now I’m dealing withdrawal symptoms.

I'm not attention seeking, I'm in pain.

Bpd culture is “WHY WONT YOU FUCKING ANSWER ME WHAT DID I DO WHAT DID I DO WHAT DID I DO IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME IM SORRY”

It's barely the beginning of the year and I'm already failing

begging people to stay after an arguement because whenever my parents argued at least one of them would leave the house for days