…

HEY LOOK AT THAT CYBORG SHEEP

FIRST OF ALL. THERES NO INTERGALACTIC COSTCO, THATS RIDICULOUS. THEY WERE RUN OUT OF BUSINESS BY SPACE SAM’S CLUB OVER THREE CENTURIES AGO. 

SECOND OF ALL IM NEVER TRUSTING YOU WITH NEW FOOD THINGS AGAIN. ALL OF YOUR CANDIES ARE LIES AND PAIN. I’LL LET IT PASS, THOUGH, BECAUSE YOU OPENED UP A WHOLE WORLD OF LEGO-RELATED POSSIBILITIES. 

IM GONNA USE EM TO BUILD A GIANT ROBOT THAT MELTS CITIES. 

Label the you-stuff YOURS and then spike it with Screaming Tanami Apocalypse Pepper Sauce.

-~Teslaverse Enamel Pin Moodboard~-

I want villains who spend months in their creepy dark lab building the death ray with their best buddy and hug each other when the superweapon is finally complete.

I want villains who fall madly in love with the other evil prince or princess they married to consolidate their power.

I want villains who tell bedtime stories to the little clone they created to be the successor to their throne and order their minions to get the clone a cup of warm milk because she can’t sleep.

I want villains hanging out with their best friends and acting like dorks while they bowl with their enemies’ skulls.

I want villains with families.

I want mad scientists helping their children with their science homework.

I want villains leaving halfway though a battle because it’s their anniversary and they are not going to leave their spouse waiting.

I want villains who don’t work on Wednesdays because that’s the day they visit their mum and take her out for tea.

Child: Daddy, Mrs Brown was talking about careers in class, and she asked me what you do.

Villain (in a deep, growling voice): I watch the world burn.

Child: Yeah, but I think she meant as a job?

Child: Daddy, Mrs Brown gave me detention again.

Villain: Let me fetch my gasoline.

Child: Um, Daddy, I’m not sure that…

Villain: Fire is the only way.

Villain: Ella, what is wrong? Are you crying?

Child: Josh said I’m ugly.

Villain: Ella, you are more beautiful than the screams of agony of a thousand enemies as I set them aflame.

Minion: Master, the elementary school has breached our security control and broken into our intercom system. They wish to negotiate with you regarding your daughter’s grades.

Villain: Negotiate? There is no negotiation. There is only repentance, or death.

Minion: Very well, master. Also, your daughter requests a bedtime story.

Villain: Tell her I am coming at once.

Minion: Master, why are your cape and robes… pink?

Villain: It is my daughter’s birthday today.

Minion: But what about darkness and evil, master?

ZIM, THERE IS LITERAL VIDEO EVIDENCE THAT PEOPLE SAW THIS.