She'd grow a goatee if she could

if i bring a book someplace it doesn't necessarily mean i want to read it mayb i just want to take her own a walk. Get her some fresh air and a change of scenery

Thank you Jorts

Reblog for soup girl

REBLOG FOR SOUP GIRL‼️

Bagel and cream cheese themed wedding

I resent the inevitable consequences the second law of thermodynamics has on my tea and the entropy of the universe. It always happens too damn soon.

The hell do you mean “use a tea light” you’re telling me those things can be used to heat tea???

Fam I’ve been lied to and deceived

Wait please what are you being told, this has raised many questions about tea lights for me.

I'm sorry they're what

They heat tea. They heat tea because they’re tea lights. They’re named that way because they’re literally devices to keep your tea warm and somehow no one has ever told me this and they’re tea lights to heat tea and I might just—[CENSORED]

you know how everyone treats women like we’re ancient after 30 i think we should lean into that. i want retirement. i want senior discounts

Who was your bisexual awakening and why was it Ardeth Bay from the hit films The Mummy (1999) and The Mummy Returns (2001)

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash