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elloo >.< ,, i went to philly for the first time ! the closest i’ve been to the east coast so # epicsauce. i luvd it. i met so many interesting people at a few concerts. so many elderly women complimenting me.

i met my twooo of my FAVORite artists of all time,, one of the members complimented me >.< !! i crocheted them smth last minute,, lowkey came out ass but i promised them to make them smth better when they come to LA o7

i felt so guilty being there, like i didn’t deserve to be there for some odd reason. i kept thinking abt all the ppl i have wronged in my life and felt like i should be punished instead of having a gud time in philly. it was a weird feeling. i thought about all the different outcomes i would’ve had if i never left certain ppl. would i have gone w my ex best friend ? how would the trajectory of my life change if i just stayed?

i was on the rooftop w my friend discussing things about certain characters i’ve had in my life and my feelings of moving on. i think i just needed someone to bluntly tell me what to do. i was so scared of seeing ppl i knew in philly,, that would’ve been crazy tho. so delusional. i sometimes wonder if ppl miss me or stalk me but there’s no point of thinking that way

lil drunk entry/

journal entry:

passed my precal class in the summer,, now i’m taking cal, chem, and polisci. almost took 18 units this semester but i stopped myself since im going out of STATE !! julian and i finally bought our airplane tix to philly to go see MARIETTAAA,, im SUPER excited:3:3:3 i loved them since 4ever,, biggest marietta fan on dis website. im literally facing my biggest fear (getting on a plane) just to go see them. im planning on giving them an art project of them,, it’ll be a lil shit since its last minute buttt GAHh<3

anyways,, my profs this semester r so yucky,, i hope i pass >.< ! i need to take up to cal lll, and perhaps three physics classes gahhhgged !¡! but the more i interact w women in my class, the more motivated i am to stick around. i genuinely love my major and i hope to accomplish what i desire to do.

my plants blossomed beautifully, but this recent heat in la has been torturing my cucumber plant. it gave me its all and now i must let it rest. july has been a v big struggle for me this year. being at peace w reality and accepting the choices ppl make has been hard. however, i am v grateful for the people around me that keep me afloat :3:3:3 every yarn club session is just a reminder of the community around me. my banana chai<3 i hope september is beautiful.

spinning : playboyCARTI, 90sfemale fronted emo bands<3, sun ra, sweet trip, death grips, astrud gilberto always<3

life update :

i passed my spring semester w all A’s :3,, now i’m taking precal for the summer. this class has me staying up all night or waiting until the coffee shop kicks me out. i had to walk around long beach smoking my cigarettes after the coffee shop closed. there is this (evil) man i keep running into at the coffee shop and he’s always telling me i can go to him for help which has become the sole reason to motivate me2 pass all my stem classes without a man’s help.

june was an interesting month. my cat passed away just outside my window. i will continue to lay a blanket down for him despite his passing. i miss him breaking into my room (still not sure how he did) or even watching me through my window. i was growing a tomato plant just for him. it bloomed three tomatoes, im just waiting for them to be ready to harvest. i bought other plants like strawberries, catnip, two cucumbers, pinto beans, and green beans. they’re all growing beautifully. my grandpa gifted me a lemongrass plant, which is my FAVORITE tea. i am going to sleep beautifully.

i feel so creative this month. i’ve been working on different art projects when i have downtime. i am currently working on a filet cardigan and making jewelry. i’ve been working on scrapbooking and drawing in my little journal. i’ve been going to new coffee shops and crafting. listening to some tunes that remind me of my mom. i’m back to purple hair blehj,, feels weird. i think i will dye it black by september sadly. also been roller skating a bunch,, i run into julian at the beach jeje so fun :3 also fuck ice fuck all corrupted government officials

　　　　〜（ゝ。∂）(ft my basil plant)

{11/29/24}

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