canis major

“Me?” Peter asked, raising a quizzical brow at his friend, “Why would Mary be looking for me?”. His eyes scanned the room for her. It was awfully hard to pinpoint a particular person when everyone around the room was wearing a mask though and just as he had suspected he didn’t spot her. 

Was he blind? Sirius wondered just how much effort it’d take to get Peter to realize that Mary definitely liked him back. “Oh, I dunno, maybe she wants to talk to her friends or something, or you could get it through your bloody head that a girl might like you.” He accompanied his teasing tone with a shrug of his shoulders, awaiting the denial. 

“Of course not,” James said, trying to match Sirius’s tone. He would never do that Sirius, even when he felt like it. Ever since they met on the Hogwarts Express, they’d been friends, and then Sirius had run away from home - the best decision he had ever made, in James’s opinion - and now they were brothers. That meant he got a pass for all of James’s moods, and even when he would have preferred solitude, Sirius was allowed to be there. He should have expected the question, really; it was only natural, and he and Sirius could always see right through each other. But he wasn’t ready for it - he didn’t have a quick answer and he knew Sirius was struggling with everything too. “Is anyone?” He said, hesitating for a beat too long. “Are you?”

Sirius was somewhere in between expressive and withdrawn, that was always the case for him. He was a loud, public person, never afraid to make his thoughts loud and clear, or mess around with his friends. But then there was the issue of more pressing matters, which was usually what he concealed. There was no such thing as comfort growing up in the Black household, and if he learned anything useful there, it was how to put up a mask when he needed to. And yet, James always saw through it. It was a two-way system, Sirius doing the same back every time, and he figured it came with years of being best friends (and now brothers), from the moment they met. He sighed, loud and dramatic because that was all he knew how to do. “No point in lying about it at this point, so no. You’re thinking about what happened in the woods, aren’t you?” 

Remus should have known it would be one of his own friends just around the corner. If anyone was planning on being out past curfew, it was most likely to be James or Sirius. He and Peter had never really been the masterminds behind their late-night outings, but they had been eager to be included all the same. Remus suspected that was a good half of the reason he’d been made a prefect in the first place, to help the professors regulate the behavior of the Marauders. As their self-appointed group name suggested, however, the boys often went looking for adventure while finding trouble along the way and Remus was loathe to put an end to those moments that were so dear to him. Nowadays, it seemed as if their adventures had turned more toward missions, and those weighed more heavily on their shoulders.

Despite the recent attacks and their fellow Order member going missing, Sirius seemed to be in fairly high spirits and Remus couldn’t help but return a tired smile. “That’s true, we don’t.” Perhaps it was selfish or unfair to let his own friends’ transgressions slide while enforcing the rules with others. But how could he punish James or Sirius or Peter for breaking curfew when often enough they had done so specifically for him? “You know, I’m pretty sure the lot of you look at my position of prefect as a sort of free pass.” He joked back, continuing down the corridor and gesturing for his friend to follow. 

Sirius was glad Remus’s position as a prefect didn’t stop the four of them from breaking the rules, and the same for James being Head Boy, although that came later. There was no way they could follow all the rules, considering their monthly trip to the Shrieking Shack, but he’d wondered whether they might be forced to adhere to more of them. Of course, Sirius would break them anyways, but it’d be a lot more difficult if one of his best mates was enforcing them. But it turned out to be the opposite, an excuse to make mischief, as long as Remus was the prefect who saw. He was right that they’d use him being a prefect as a free pass. 

“You think? Honestly, you’re half the reason we get away with mostly everything we do.” Sirius shrugged, following Remus down the corridor. “The cloak helps too, but that doesn’t even cover all of us anymore.” One of the downsides to growing older; the four of them couldn’t use it all at once like they used to. At least one of them could turn into a rat, which was hardly noticable. He took a moment to look over Remus’s appearance, met with the same sight Remus always had every month. “Full moon’s in a few days, how’re you feeling?”

PROMPT 005 - WANTED CONNECTIONS

Who: Remus Lupin & Anyone When: February 20th, 1978. Just before curfew.  Where: 3rd Floor Corridor 

Remus was running late to start prefect rounds that evening. With the full moon just days away he was already feeling lethargic and he wasn’t in the best of moods. He wasn’t quite at his best for late-night rounds, but he figured he might as well power through anyway. He was used to long nights by now, his sleep schedule never quite regular, and it was all routine by this point. Besides, finding a replacement at this hour would just be unfair to his fellow prefects while no doubt stirring up unwanted questions. 

Hearing footsteps just around the corner, Remus glanced down at his watch for the time. “You’ve got about five minutes until curfew.” He called, making his way down the corridor. “Best get in before I head back this way.” He always hated taking away points or getting students in trouble for being out of bed considering just how often he and his own friends wandered the halls well after curfew. Most of the time he let students off with a warning as long as they made their way back to their common room sooner rather than later. Still, he had a job to do and wasn’t in the mood for negotiations tonight. 

With Glenda’s return to the castle, Sirius felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders. It’d been earlier that day when she was found, and he immediately felt the guilt that’d been hanging over him disappear...mostly. Her capture still happened, but at least he didn’t have to worry about it anymore. It was strange, being so focused on the guilt for days instead of just letting it roll off his shoulders like he did with most conflicts. At least he could now.

He felt restless, and while he knew that curfew was coming up, he didn’t care. Sirius knew the castle like the back of his hand, able to easily evade any prefect or professor that came his way. He smirked upon the voice calling from around the corner though, not bothering to move. Waiting until Remus actually turned the corner, he greeted him with the aforementioned smirk and a shrug of his shoulders. “Oh Moony, you know I’ve never cared about curfew before. We don’t have the cleanest record.” They’d snuck out countless times over the years, both for pranks and full moon outings. With the thought, he remembered there was one in a few days, noticing how tired Remus looked. 

Who: Andrei Draganov & Anyone 

When: February 16th, after dinner

Where: Outside Gryffindor Common room 

Andrei wasn’t entirely sure why, but he felt awkward walking into his common room. It hadn’t been long since he’d been released from the hospital wing ad his injuries weren’t as severe as others. But, he also didn’t want to walk in there and suddenly be bombarded by questions from his housemates, which he was sure there would be a few. It wasn’t that he was scared, he’s just already gotten enough of an earful from his sister the day before and didn’t feel like dealing with anyone else’s bullshit. As if that wasn’t enough, it seemed as if the Fat Lady had changed the password to the common room. Which usually wasn’t an issue, but nobody had felt the need to tell him the new one. 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” He sighed as he guessed wrong. It also seemed like the more he tried to persuade her into letting him in, the more adamant she got in keeping him out. That was when he decided his best bet was to just wait for someone else to come along and help him out. 

It’d been a day since the incident in the woods, and Sirius was unable to escape the feelings of guilt over it. He was trying not to focus on it, occupying his mind with other things, but it proved to be difficult. Heading up the long flight of stairs after dinner, Sirius was planning on spending the rest of the night in the common room. What he was going to do, he had no idea, but he’d rather that than keep wandering aimlessly around the castle. Unfortunately, he caught sight of Andrei Draganov as he made his way to the portrait, rolling his eyes to himself. Any other day, he’d at least think making fun of their exasperated roommate would be an alright pastime, but he’d really wanted to get into the common room and find the other Marauders or something. Besides, he wasn’t ecstatic to talk to one of the exposed members of Grindelwald’s army.

”What, too much going on in there to remember the password?Guess this means you need my help then, right Andrei?” He spoke sarcastically, sauntering up to the door. Maybe now wasn’t the time, but he didn’t seem to care all that much.

There was a logical side to James that knew what happened to Glenda wasn’t his fault - not exactly, not completely. He hadn’t come up with the plan himself, he hadn’t assigned the groups when they split up - Glenda had chosen to come of her own free will. And none of that did any good in easing his guilt. He’d taken responsibility as leader of the group and Glenda was taken on his watch. There wasn’t a lot to say to counter any of that. He’d done his best to avoid people throughout the day - especially Glenda’s sister; he hated seeing the look in her eyes - but when Sirius joined him in the common room, he was glad for the company. “Yeah, I wasn’t feeling very social today. Still not, really.” Luckily most of the rest of their house seemed to be somewhere else.

Right away, Sirius could tell James was having the same issue with blame over the whole situation, and frankly, he didn’t understand it at all. James had been the first one hit with the Death Eater’s spells; there was no way he could’ve seen it coming. Sirius however, he had the advantage of knowing there was another attacker, and still hadn’t managed to fend him off without being incapacitated. He’d gotten too distracted, looking towards James passed out on the ground, and ended up having to wait with Glenda gone and James unconscious until help came. “You’re not gonna push me away though, right?” He spoke in a lighthearted tone, attempting to lighten the mood, but if anyone could see through him it was James. Being best friends for years, they’d each learned how the other ticked. “Actually though, are you doing alright?”

“Although they’re trying to make it more challenging.” Marlene nodded her head to where the auror had just past them. While other students may have seen them as extensions of the powers that be at Hogwarts, Marlene only saw discrete groups. There was little the aurors could do to make her want to follow any rules, and certainly to much they were doing to make her feel safer. At a certain point she had to question just what they were doing here if they too were taking shots in the dark. “Clearly we are quite able to evade them.” She pointed out lightly in reference to the Order’s plan that had gone mostly not to plan.

As Sirius began to elaborate on the evening that had gone so wrong. Each person that had been there, seemed to feel the same way: it was there fault. Everybody who had a part in this wished they could have done more, foreseen what was going to go wrong. Even Marlene who had been tasked with distracting instead of finding still felt she had been put in the wrong place, that she was meant for more than this. Besides all that, Marlene would say the same to each Order member that doubted themselves. “Sirius, you can’t do that to yourself. Play the maybe game with yourself. Things could have been worse too you know. Clearly they could have been better, but we can’t change what already happened, just what is going to happen.”

Sirius glanced towards the auror that passed by them, nodding his head. A part of him had wanted to believe they’d be helping out, but nothing had changed since their arrival. Not after Halloween, the first attack at Hogwarts of the year, not after Hogsmeade, and definitely not now. “Clearly. I’d usually think it’s easy to get around them normally, but this time? They didn’t even see the five of us leave.” He scoffed, but more in amusement rather than annoyance. “If you can’t find five students wandering the hallways then finding Fawley sounds like an impossible mission.” Maybe he was being hypocritical, since being an auror was a career he’d considered, but their lack of help at the moment was frustrating.

A part of him knew he shouldn’t be feeling bad over this. There were so many choices made that contributed to the outcome of the situation, so many aspects they should’ve considered while putting the plan into action. Glenda made some of those choices; they all did. But still, that didn’t change how he wasn’t the first to be taken down. Being a second faster could’ve made a difference. “Yeah, yeah, I know you’re right.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve been trying to tell myself that all day, to be honest, but I can’t stop feeling guilty over it. I think that’s what everyone’s thinking, though. Hopefully she’ll be found soon and things go back to normal for a little longer before everything’s fucked up again.” He didn’t think there was a normal anymore, which only fueled him to fight more.

Jackie glanced down, tugging absently at her sleeves; it was hard to look at the boy when all she could think about was that he had been there when Glenda was taken - and that if they had just stayed inside like they were supposed to, none of this would have happened. “That’s me.” Despite the circumstances, a little thrill of excitement ran up her spine as it always did when she was addressed as an auror. That had been her goal her entire life, and she had achieved it. That was something to be proud of. Though she doubted he was truly all right and she would be angry if anyone really were totally all right when a classmate was missing, she didn’t pursue the subject. Not with a boy she didn’t know, and one that she wasn’t particularly fond of anyway. The apology was a surprise, though perhaps it shouldn’t have been. It was the reasonable thing to do, and perhaps it showed a maturity that she didn’t think he had. “Thank you,” she said stiffly, glancing in his direction for a minute. “I’m sure you did the best you could do.” Which was far less than a fully trained auror could have done.

This was starting to seem like a really bad idea. He was no stranger to things turning out to not be the best of plans, but this wasn’t a backfiring prank or staying up until the early hours of the morning. This was talking to the sister of the girl who just went missing, and Sirius could’ve prevented it. He still did feel almost like he should be talking to her, but from what he could tell, things would be better if he just left for the Great Hall. He didn’t miss the stiff way she spoke, but at least he’d gotten it out, and now he could move on with maybe a little less guilt on his shoulders. “Yeah. Hopefully it’ll end up alright. Was there any progress?” No, he didn’t do the best he could. He could’ve realized the Death Eater was there in the few seconds he had. He could’ve done something else. But it was already done with. It was rare that he felt awkward in a conversation, but this seemed to be one of those exceptions. “I’ll head in for dinner, now.” 

“Disaster, yes. Almost seems like we’re cursed this year.” She palmed the runes in her pocket, swirling them around each other nervously. Sirius and his friends tended to not speak with her - not out of malice, she was sure, but rather out of polite disinterest. Such strange effects tragedy had on the student population. They were all linked together by it, a comradery almost forming between them all. Delicate as spider silk, these connections they all had now. A stiff breeze would break them apart, but for now, Sybill enjoyed the tentative bonds. “How are you handling it? I know that Glenda is in your house…” Is not was. She would return. Sybill was certain. It would just be too much on top of everything else.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, wondering if Sybill actually thought the castle had been cursed or something. He wouldn’t put it past the girl who carried runes and tea leaves around with her. “No kidding. I know some people are going ballistic stuck in the castle.” That was one of the things he wasn’t bothered by. After years of having to return to a home full of malice and hatred, too much time at Hogwarts wasn’t a problem, even now that he lived with James. Years-long habits don’t die quickly. “Alright, I guess. But going into the woods with five and coming out with four isn’t the easiest thing to handle.” A little strange that he was telling Sybill this, but he was full of questionable choices lately. More than usual. 

It felt like so long ago already that they had been able to freely see each other. Although they were separated by house at school, before Sirius ran away, at least she had been able to see him and talk to him. Now she didn’t even have that comfort - and she was rapidly losing all the people she could confide in. Ted was out of reach now - forever. She didn’t know how she could ever learn to trust Bella again, when Bella had revealed what was truly important to her, and it wasn’t Andromeda. Cissa had too much to bear her sister’s pain as well, given how close she was with their mother. That left … no one. Andromeda had never made friends easily and her father and sister made it very clear what would happen if she befriended anyone who wasn’t a pureblood. None of her peers were people she’d feel easy confiding in.

“I’ll - I will. I’m sure it’ll - it’ll be fine, I promise.” It wasn’t the truth, far from it really, but what else could she say? They couldn’t talk to each other, she wasn’t sure how she could even get a message to him, and she didn’t think she’d ever be even remotely fine ever again. Her heart had been ripped out of her and shattered, and she was expected to pick up the pieces and continue on as if nothing had happened. “I should - “ She stopped, swallowing hard against the tears that were threatening to spill again, and turned abruptly. This was too much and she had barely maintained her composure as it was. In another minute, she’d be sobbing or screaming again and she didn’t want to be in public for that. But her quick retreat was foiled when her foot caught on the stone floor and she tripped, landing hard on her hands and knees with a choked sob.

There were few things Sirius missed about his old home. He’d been miserable, stuck at the center of a world he wasn’t meant for, a world that forced restraint after restraint on him each time he threatened to break free. (And he did, eventually). He’d despised his parents, his mother’s shrill voice and his father’s cold stare. He hated the expectations and requirements, how they’d attempt to shape him into an ideal Heir. He hated their reactions when he dared to be different or speak up. He hated all of it. But then, there were aspects that he wished he could’ve retained. For one, he wished he’d been able to influence Regulus more, that running away hadn’t included completely tearing them apart, no matter how unrealistic it was. At the moment though, his focus was primarily on Andromeda. His favorite cousin, the one he was most similar to, who was standing in front of him obviously broken, while Sirius had nothing in his power to help after this conversation. She was one of the few things he missed.

He knew better than to believe her words. He knew she was about as far from fine as possible, and there was no way Sirius was letting her getting away with pretending everything was. Maybe it was hard to do anything, maybe it was impossible, but he specialized in making the undoable possible after all. Even if he couldn’t help in the long-run, he had now, in an empty corridor where nobody would know. “Andie, I know it won’t, you don’t have to lie about it, you-“ He stopped himself once she turned to leave, frowning and planning on going after her, no matter how much she protested, when she fell to the ground. On instinct he rushed over, kneeling to the ground and putting a comforting arm on her back. “Hey, it’s alright, lemme help you up.” If he wasn’t going to leave before, he definitely wasn’t now.

“Can you?” Amara asked with a quirk of her brow. Truly, she had yet to truly be impressed with anything that anyone had said to her so far. Most remarked on her height or appearance but never actually said anything of true substance. The Gryffindor was interesting and interactions were far too rare between them so far as she was concerned. A family blacksheep, surely no one could be more intriguing than that.

“I s’pose you’ll be the judge of that.” To tell the truth, Sirius didn’t have too many good lines memorized. There were a lot of people over the years who were interested in him, but he never had to do much to grab their attention. A lot of his history involved rocky relationships and shameless flirting, although that’d significantly lessened lately for a certain reason. “If we’re sticking with the game,” He paused to hold out a single rose. “Your lips look lonely, would they like to meet mine?” 

Peter lifted his shoulders in another noncommittal shrug. He was nearly certain that the guys would ask him more about how his evening had gone later, but he wasn’t really ready to tell them. It would just make things incredibly awkward for all of them and he didn’t want something else to be completely his fault. “Not yet, no. You talked to her?” he asked, trying and failing to not seem as interested as he was, “How’d that go?”

Realizing Peter was probably just being weird, Sirius dropped it for now. The other probably didn’t want Sirius grilling him over it, and whatever it was, he knew Peter and his tendency to be awkward in certain situations. Putting that aside, Sirius couldn’t resist the smirk upon seeing how obvious Peter’s interest in Mary was. “She’s good. Actually, I think she wants to find you. Who knows, maybe you’ll actually have some fun then.” 

Flo blinked behind her mask as the two shook hands. She tilted her head slightly and furrowed her eyebrows, now staring up at the boy. “Yes, it is nice to meet me – I wouldn’t assume that you weren’t being serious about that.” She said, her smile faltering.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, before laughing a little at his remark. “No, that’s my name. Sirius Black.” It was rare to find someone who hadn’t at least heard of him, with both reputations created by the Marauders and his defiance of his family.