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There's this really obscure forgotten DC hero named the Heckler, who's basically buggs bunny as a superhero, not having any powers or physically strong, but just really good at pissing people off until they accidentally deal with themselves.
Now they're interesting, but the REAL star of the show is one of his villains, John Doe the Generic Man, who's this guy in a stark white suit with flat pink unshaded, untextured skin with no features or anything who talks like chatGPT and has black text over his face that explains what he's feeling at the moment. That guy is fucking fascinating.
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After playing Swindlestones with Flanker for hours and also looking through the game's code, I decided that I need to document all the possible conversations he can have with Analander during the game because this is a totally normal thing to want to do.
I have a bit of a weird formatting for this one but still tried to make it at least a bit comprehensive. Lines in read denote the ones used when either you or Flanker call on the bid, thus ending the conversation. If there's no red line in the batch that means the line on call is the same as the default one or they're just generic Swindlestones lines.
Some of these I didn't manage to get myself because I won or lost too quickly, so there might be mistakes in line order or length.
1. What are you doing in Kharé?
A: 'So what are you doing in Kharé, my friend?' you ask, as you open the bidding.
F: Flanker shakes his head. 'I will not allow your inane words to turn me from my game. So do not attempt such a strategy.' / 'No, friend,' Flanker replies, coldly. 'Do not think you will not put me off my game with your conversation.'
A: 'That's not my intention.'
F: Flanker shakes his head. 'But of course it is. It is what I would do, were I facing an opponent I felt beneath me.' / 'Of course it is. But it will not work.'
A: 'Was that a compliment?' / 'Then I do have you concerned,' you reply with pleasure. / 'I'm flattered, I think. But you won't fool me like that.' (All lead to the same replies as the next batch of Analander's lines)
or (alternative to 'That's not my intention' line)
A: 'I was only asking a question,' you reply, defensively. / 'Are you so unconfident? Perhaps you should give up now.' / 'Too late, I think.'
F: 'This is a game of concentration and focus,' he replies. 'My Goddess will protect me from your talk.' / 'Luckily, your words cannot interrupt the clarity Sindla grants me.' He nods.
A: 'So you'd rather I was quiet, then?' / 'As I recall, when you fought, you talked all the time.' / 'Perhaps if I talk louder, some of the other people in this inn will come to watch your defeat?' / 'I fear you will need more than that to save you, friend.'
F: Flanker shakes his head in annoyance. 'Your words are the buzzing of the mosquito. Irritating but harmless.' / 'Be silent, I command you,' he murmurs softly. You can't help but notice his long, curved blade resting against the table-edge.
2. You're serious about not talking?
A: 'So you're serious about not talking?' / 'You take this game as seriously as a sword-fight, then?'
F: 'A reputation once injured cannot be salved,' he replies coldly. 'Every humiliation is a scar one carries to the grave.'
A: 'Sounds serious.' / 'All wounds heal.' / 'It is only a game.' / 'Very well. You will be scarred tonight, I fear.'
F: 'Be silent,' he commands. 'I demand it of you.' / 'We will see,' he murmurs. 'We will see.'
3. I'd rather not sit in silence
A: 'I'd rather not sit in silence as we play,' you remark.
F: 'When chatter is your only hope of victory? I am not surprised.' / 'I told you what I prefer,' Flanker replies coolly.
A: 'I am not only interested in victory,' you reply. / 'Against play such as that? I do not need tricks, friend.'
F: 'Then you will lose,' Flanker replies, coolly.
or
A: 'I am pleased to see you. I would like to talk.'
F: 'There is a time for talk. And there is a time for carefully calculated victory.' / 'Then you will lose,' Flanker replies, coolly.
or
A: 'I have much I want to ask you,' you tell him.
F: 'There is a time for talk. And there is a time for carefully calculated victory.' / 'It seems you lack focus,' Flanker replies. 'In which case, I am pleased, because you will lose.'
A: 'I was pleased when I saw you, friend,' you reply. 'And now you treat me coldly.' / 'You are not going about it the right way, then.'
F: 'You expect different from an Assassin?' he asks, with some surprise. / 'I treat you with efficiency. It is a mark of great respect.'
or
A: 'So I should concentrate on beating you, then.'
F: 'You will need to, I think.' / 'You should concentrate, certainly.'
4. Flanker doesn't like your tone
F: 'And what do you mean by that?' / 'There's no need to be short in your tone,' Flanker replies.
A: 'By what?' / 'I don't know what you're talking about.' / 'Your paranoia is getting the better of you,' you tell him. / 'By what? You don't want to talk, I thought, so I am not talking.'
F: 'I wish to concentrate on the game. But there is no reason to be curt in your tone.' / 'If you cannot play in a civilised way,' Flanker remarks, 'perhaps you should not play the game.'
A: 'I'm sorry if I offended you.' / 'Do you think I was rude?' / 'You are joking, of course.' / 'I have no intention of being curt,' you reply. / 'Curt?' You bark a laugh. 'I think you have drunk too much, friend.'
F: 'There were men/women like you where I trained as a young man. Who hid their own lack of dedication behind a smile and a friendly word. They were distracting. Such people cannot become Assassins.' / 'Your tone was short,' he replies. 'It is not becoming for one such as yourself to be short.
A: 'I don't want to be an Assassin,' you reply. / 'I am not an Assassin,' you reply. / 'Flanker, are you quite well?'
F: He grumbles and grunts into his palm. 'I hate this city,' he replies.
5. Rats
F: 'I had intended to stay in this inn,' Flanker remarks. 'But there are rats.'
A: 'Rats. Eugh.' / 'Are you scared of rats? I cannot believe it.'
F: 'Indeed so.' / 'You speak the truth, my friend.'
or
A: 'There must be rats in most of the inns of Kharé.'
F: 'Indeed, there are, though I had heard better things of this particular place. No matter. I will sleep in a bush, as is my custom.' / 'I believe that is true,' he replies glumly. 'I will sleep in a bush instead, I think.'
or
A: 'Surely there are rats out in the Hills.'
F: 'Of course there are. But I am not paying to share my bed with them in the Hills.'
6. This city is not suiting you
A: 'It seems to me that this city is not suiting you,' you remark.
F: 'It is true, I am much happier out in the Hills.' / 'I detest this foul City.'
A: 'The smell?' / 'Too many people?' / 'Not enough places to hide?' / 'You should leave,' you reply, simply.
F: 'Everything about this place is fetid,' he says. / 'This is a city of foul men and women ruled by foul men and women.'
A: 'You're over-reacting,' you reply. / 'Surely you won't be here for very long,' you reply, trying to console him.
F: 'I will be here for as long as my task requires,' he replies, morosely.
A: 'Will that be long?' you ask. / 'And what task is that?' you ask. / 'So what are you doing here?' (this one is from a previous batch) / 'Then you should waste less time playing dice,' you advise him. 'And finish your mission.'
F: 'Are you asking me who I have been assigned to kill? It would be against the code for me to divulge such a thing.' / 'I have my mission,' Flanker replies calmly. 'I have no choice over what I do, as you do not.'
or
A: 'I wish you a quick kill, then,' you reply, adding, 'so long as I am not your target.'
F: 'You are not,' he replies. 'My target is much more dangerous even than you.' / He laughs. 'You are not. Otherwise, my winning this game to clear my debt would be most important indeed.'
7. Perhaps I can help
A: 'Perhaps I can help you with your task.'
F: Flanker seems to consider this for a long moment, then shakes his head. 'I do not see how. The man I must kill is a scholar, but also a most powerful wizard. He is also the only good man on the Council of the city. He deserves to live.' / 'I do not believe so.'
A: 'Then spare him.'
F: 'I cannot. An Assassin does not choose his tasks. He is not an executioner, only a blade.'
A: 'Then I am sorry for you.' / 'Your profession is of your own making.' / 'Then strike, and move on.'
F: Flanker shakes his head. 'There will always be the need for my profession,' he replies. 'As long as there is evil in the world. Just as there will always be need for heroes.' And he nods at you. / 'If I do not complete my task,' he says softly, 'then my neck will be severed by one of my brothers. I must do my task.'
or
A: 'I need to find this man myself,' you reply. 'I need him to tell me his spell-line.' / 'I need to find this man myself,' you reply. 'I told you so already. I need him to tell me his spell-line.'
F: 'Then pray you find him before I do,' the Assassin replies coldly.
or
A: 'You're talking about Lorag,' you reply. 'You told me you didn't know where he was.' / 'You're talking about Lorag,' you reply. 'I need to find him. He knows one of the spell-lines for the Gate.'
F: 'An Assassin cannot reveal his target,' Flanker replies, but you can tell from his tone that you have shaken him.
A: 'What do you know of this scholar?' / 'What do you know of this scholar? This time, the truth.' / 'It seems we have a race.'
F: 'He is a wizard: the only wizard on the Council of the City. I understand he attempted to reign in the madness of the First Noble. I also know he survived two previous attempts on his life already.' / 'His name is Lorag,' Flanker replies. 'He is the Fourth Noble, or was, until he retired.'
A: 'Where does he live?' / 'At least tell me where he is so I might talk to him.' (this one is from the previous batch) / 'If you find him before me, please; discover his spell-line for me.' Flanker nods in agreement.
F: 'His house is on the other side of the river,' Flanker says. 'A mansion, near the Square of the Red-Eyes. That is all I know.' / 'You may warn him. You may do so without meaning to.' Flanker shakes his head. 'I am sorry, but I cannot help you.'
8. Will you be killing other Nobles?
A: 'Will you then be killing off the other Nobles in the City?' you ask, hoping you have riled him enough into talking after all.
F: 'My services are not required for the others,' he replies. 'Only this one is proving difficult, I think.' / 'There's little need,' he replies, sharply. 'The others are dead, or as good as.'
A: 'What has happened to the others?' you ask. / 'That's ill news for me' / 'So you've been brought in to finish the job. I understand'
F: 'There are only two Nobles still alive. Lorag is one. The other is the blind beggar Theetah.'
or
A: 'But there are three others, aren't there?' you ask, hoping to goad him into revealing more.
F: 'Most of the Council died in a fire last year, so I understand.' / 'There were twelve in the Council, once, but several of them died in a fire last year, so I understand.' / 'Twelve. Or there were. Only two are left - Lorag, and the blind beggar, Theetah.'
A: 'How many are left?'
F: 'There are only two Nobles still alive. Lorag is one. The other is the blind beggar Theetah.'
A: 'But you are not going to kill him?' / 'Perhaps I will find him before you, at least,' you reply.
F: Flanker shrugs. 'Blind, in Kharé? He is as good as dead.'
or
A: 'And where is he?'
F: 'In the wastelands to the north of the City, I believe.'
or
A: 'He is in the ruins to the north, as you told me before.'
F: Flanker nods. 'That is correct.' / 'Indeed so.'
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I love the little microexpressions that Glenn does when Dennis is visibly repressing something. That look he gives when the dart hits his hand is probably the most notable example but I always think about his little jaw clench when he hears the laser sound effect in the podcast episode. Like the childlike joy of hearing a cool laser noise combined with the Dennis inability to express that joy. You can see it all on his face just from one little jaw clench.
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