You’re a spark in the dark and my clothes all caught aflame
Regulus Black was completely and utterly content with his current relationship status.
As a fourth year, it didn’t quite concern him whether he or his friends had partners. They were too young—he told himself. Besides, studying is all he should be focusing on throughout this season.
That lingering frustration in his chest was not a result of unreciprocated feelings. The tug at his heart that felt like a thread tied stiffly was most definitely not because of James Potter.
The lad was free to date whoever he wanted. Lily Evans had already made it clear that she fancied another, and James’ claims of irrevocable attraction towards her seemed to shift towards various other women. Not that Regulus cared at all, it was only an observation.
James is Sirius’ best friend. It’s only natural for a younger brother to be interested in his older brother’s relationships.
With a heavy sigh, Regulus slammed his Arithmancy textbook shut and strutted out of the library. The keen silence of the place had done nothing to soothe his unbearably loud thoughts from taking over.
Ultimately, the younger Black had decided on residing in his usual spot at the Astronomy tower.
As soon as he sat down a gentle breeze swept over him, brushing against the tip of his nose. Though only slightly, Regulus’ worried were instantly reduced, and his shoulders slumped in relief.
Only then did he hear the sound of footsteps, causing the raven-haired boy to tense up just as quickly.
He was fully prepared to leave—his satchel was already on his shoulder by the time he made eye contact with the approaching figure.
Regulus was alright. It was only the subject of his very musings that faced him.
The same boy that brought him into an insufferable state of reverie on a daily.
The same boy that now had a shaking frame and glasses so soaked Regulus was sure seeing through them was impossible.
“Potter?” Regulus asked hesitantly.
James took off his glasses, wiping them down with the rim of his sleeve.
“Hi, Reg.” He answered sullenly.
Though he was tangled up in his own conflicting feelings, Regulus couldn’t just leave James Potter to cry alone. Could he? It’s possible that he’d appreciate the solitude, but perhaps he would also appreciate the company.
Just as he was about to move away, James’ hand grasped his wrist firmly.
“Don’t… leave because of me. You were here first, so if you’d like…” The Gryffindor began.
“No!—I mean, no. I don’t mind. If you want me to leave, then—“
“Alright,” James murmured, sitting down next to Regulus and bringing his knees to his chest. “stay with me, then.”
Regulus’ eyes widened in return before quickly schooling his expression back to a contained one. “Okay.”
It wasn’t a nice thing to witness—James being so upset. His nose was bright red and his lips kept trembling every few seconds. It was obvious that he was restraining himself, his eyes were glistening far more than they should.
A light flow of tears poured out of the older boy’s eyes, and Regulus was getting fed up of the unspoken tension growing so palpable he could practically feel its weight crushing his body.
“Potter, what’s wrong with you?” Regulus cringed at how harsh his words came out.
James sniffled and wiped his eyes again. “I—I don’t know what I’m doing, Reg. I’m setting myself up for failure.”
Regulus tilted his head in confusion. “How?”
“I’m popular, aren’t I? Lots of girls fancy me. At least, lots of girls say they do. Why doesn’t anyone actually seem to want me? I mean, I’ve tried so many times… And whenever things do seem to work out, it just doesn’t feel quite right. I don’t… Understand girls.”
The Slytherin huffed out a scoff. “First world problems.”
James let out a wet laugh, wiping his eyes under his glasses. “I know it sounds silly. I just want to know how love feels.”
Regulus raises an eyebrow “Love, huh? What about Evans?”
James rested his head on top of his knees. “That was so embarrassing.”
Regulus patted his shoulder. “I don’t know what you expected. You can’t torment Snape and expect yourself to receive Lily’s love in return.”
The older boy finally glanced up. Upon closer inspection, Regulus noticed the deep hazel of James’ eyes, and how the warm shade of red below them resulting from his crying makes them look even wider—vulnerable. The aversion of the other boy’s gaze was accompanied with a light flush tinting his cheeks. It was almost mesmerizing; the younger Black brother almost didn’t notice when he started to talk.
“That’s in the past now, mate. We got in way too much trouble for us to keep up—I felt bad too, of course. I’m… Not really helping my case either. Snivelus has always been a right twat, but I guess he didn’t deserve…” James rambled.
“Yeah, he didn’t.” Regulus replied in amusement.
James looked up at the other boy intently, slowly adjusting himself to sit upright again. His expression seemed contemplative, but it seemed he decided against whatever he was thinking of.
“Mm, anyway. It was nice talking to you, Reggie. We don’t do that too often.” He continued.
“We don’t.” Regulus agreed. “And, um… As for your little problem, maybe you should wait for… ‘Love’ to find you instead. You should be more open-minded, Potter. Live up to your reputation.”
James smirked in return, the spark in his eyes finally returning.
Without really meaning to, Regulus smiled softly. Being sad wasn’t a good look on James Potter.
Regulus enjoyed quidditch practice. He was always in his element when he flew, and it was well-known that he was an excellent seeker.
Additionally, Barty would suddenly become absolutely hilarious. It came with the downsides of occasional detention due to unsustained laughter, but the blond boy’s humor would increase by a tenfold the moment he stepped on that field.
What he didn’t enjoy, however, was the presence of company. The Gryffindor team dropped by to practice for an upcoming match, though Regulus really wasn’t expecting them to be there so early.
“What’s their deal? It’s 7 in the bloody morning!” Barty whisper-shouted.
“They’re trying to outdo us, clearly.” Dorcas muttered in disdain, her glares completely obvious to whoever was watching.
Regulus simply sighed, setting his broom back down onto the floor.
“Reg!!!” A voice exclaimed from a distance.
Regulus turned his head in annoyance, eyes searching for the source of disturbance.
“Hiya, Reg.” Sirius beamed, suddenly present right next to his younger brother.
Regulus sighed in exasperation. “What do you even—“ his words were cut short when he noticed the other weirdly caressing his broom. “Is that brand new?”
Sirius smirked at his brother’s realization. “Cissy got it for my birthday.”
Regulus nodded, scrutinizing the other intently. “Right… When, exactly?”
“Just this morning. Oh, just the packaging itself was totally ace! You should’ve been there, Reggie, I—“
“Hi Reg!” James greeted, settling next to his best friend.
“You interrupted me.” Sirius huffed.
“Yeah, your conversations are boring anyway.” James muttered. “Anyway, we’ve got to go. Bye, darling!” He ended, grabbing an indignant Sirius by his collar and dragging him away.
“We should go too. I reckon they’ll be here for the next couple of hours anyway.” Barty mused.
Regulus nodded, holding up his broom once more and walking into the locker room.
The boy quickly retrieved his school uniform, changing into a dress shirt and a pair of slacks. He was only adjusting his tie when James Potter walked in, his unrelenting gaze immediately meeting Regulus’.
It seemed different this time, though. His usual teasing glance was replaced with vehemence he wasn’t at all used to. It was like the sun itself had directed itself towards him—Regulus thought he’d start melting if he stayed for even a minute longer, just from the sheer intensity of it.
The silver-eyed boy looked away first. It was only a glance, which could mean nothing. He had no business drowning in his own delusion.
Regulus Black was highly unsettled. It’s barely been a week since his locker room encounter, but now it seemed like James Potter was everywhere.
He first began to notice in the great hall—which is an obvious place for the other boy to be. It just felt different, the way James’ gaze would occasionally rake over Regulus with so much intensity, it almost felt like a promise. They had made eye contact at least 15 times that hour.
On his way out, Regulus felt a sudden tug on his sleeve.
James smiled bashfully. “I just thought this would suit you.” He murmured, presenting his closed fist.
Regulus looked at him in confusion.
“Oh, right.” He continued, opening his hand to reveal a sapphire star-shaped pendant. The lighting in the hallway was dim, but it seemed like the older boy had a unique ability that willed everything he touched to shine.
“I made it.” He corrected proudly.
“I—“ The Gryffindor faltered, losing his previously steady momentum. “Alchemy assignment. The blue reminded me of your eyes, so… Here.”
James took a step forward, carefully unclipping the pendant’s clasp and wrapping it around the younger’s neck.
Regulus winced, James’ fingers were practically burning against his skin. The heat sept through his veins with so much fervor that he was sure he would pass out right at that moment.
It seemed he had a knack for dramatics, however, as the feeling died down the moment the Gryffindor stepped back.
Regulus looked down, reaching to swipe his thumb over the shimmering stone.
“It’s beautiful. You really made that yourself?”
“Yeah! I got some help from Moony, but it’s all my handiwork.”
Regulus looked back up for a moment before diverting his gaze shyly.
“I see. Thank you, Potter.” Regulus responded.
James grinned, throwing the younger Slytherin a wink before walking away. “Later, Black!”
Regulus felt totally lightheaded.
Then it was the library, where Regulus often resided with no external interruptions to his studies.
It wasn’t rare for Lupin to join him at his table. It wasn’t even rare for Lily Evans to join him at his table. But the company Remus brought this time was completely unsolicited; since when did James Potter study at the library?
‘Perhaps he needed a change of setting.’ Regulus thought to himself. ‘It’s got nothing to do with me. Why would it have anything to do with me? I shouldn’t overthink. I have tests to worry about, serious tests… Sirius… James.’
Regulus bit his bottom lip in frustration, his grip on his quill tightening to an evidently uncomfortable extent.
“Is something the matter, Black?” Remus asked, caring as ever.
“I’m alright, Lupin. Thank you for asking.” Regulus replied civilly. There was no need to extend the conversation, no need to—
“Can I borrow a quill, Reg? Please? I forgot mine, didn’t think I’d need one.” James asked unapologetically.
So awfully cheerful, that one.
“Don’t you have an entire new supply of quills, Prongs?” Remus asked in amusement.
For a second there, the expression on the other’s face almost reflected panic.
“And I still forgot to bring some! How… Careless of me…” James muttered in annoyance.
Regulus swiftly brought out a spare quill, handing it to the older boy without a second glance.
Or maybe just one more glance.
“Thank you.” James replied, his eyes softening in a way that could light up rooms. No—cities. Countries, even. Incandescent joy that could burn people if they weren’t careful enough with it, Regulus was sure.
Not to mention, the pair’s hallway encounters frequented far more than they should for students that don’t share a single class together.
On Regulus’ way to Charms, he was met with the sly wink of a certain tan Gryffindor surrounded by his group of Marauders.
On his way to Transfiguration, those same hazel eyes followed his own from the opposite side of the castle.
Even on his way to Potions, the latter’s gaze was unrelenting. Barty and Evan’s obnoxious chattering did nothing to alleviate the younger Black’s lingering distress, he could sense the older boy’s stares every single time.
It wasn’t that those gestures came empty-handed. It seemed to grow naturally on James to approach Regulus with new information surrounding his daily shenanigans. It didn’t make it any less strange, though.
Regulus Arcturus Black often found himself in a state of absolute befuddlement.
After that, it was prefect duty. He could never be safe from James Potter, distance wasn’t a word that existed in his dictionary.
It wasn’t too often that the pair got assigned the same section to monitor, but it seemed like Regulus had been on a lucky streak for the past couple of months.
To be completely frank, Regulus didn’t hate spending time with James. It just made him feel anxious, he never knew what would come next with that boy.
“Fancy seeing you here,” James beamed, startling the younger Slytherin out of his thoughts.
“A pleasure.” Regulus muttered in return.
“Okay, Reg, I wanted to talk to you about something.” James began. “And it’s not like anyone’s going to sneak through the South Wing at this time of night, of all places. Will you come with me?” He asked rather nervously.
Regulus thought of refusing, but who was he to refuse those anticipating doe eyes?
“Fine, Potter. But it better be worth my while.”
“Perfect, let’s go!” James grabbed his hand and ran, instantly intertwining their fingers as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
“What was that for?” Regulus asked, stumbling on his feet at the other’s unnecessarily fast running speed.
“You’re always fidgeting with your hands. I always wanted to know how they’d feel on… Erm—just follow me!”
Regulus felt the blood rushing into his cheeks, and his heart began racing even faster than before. It didn’t help that he was running, the boy felt totally overwhelmed.
Once the pair arrived up the astronomy tower, James seemed satisfied enough to let go of the other’s hand.
“The astronomy tower? What’re you up to, Potter?” Regulus grumbled, sitting down by the railings.
“I just—um… I took your words into consideration, from the last time we were here.” James answered truthfully, sitting down next to him.
“As in I realized that I really enjoy spending time with you, Regulus.”
“Are you seriously asking me that?” James huffed, almost offended.
“Have I not been painfully obvious about my feelings, Reggie? I think I’ve made myself obnoxiously clear, my mates are giving me hell for it… Especially your brother. He’s way too overprotective! I don’t know how you deal with him, honestly…” James began to ramble before noticing the subtle confusion in Regulus’ eyes, clearing his throat before continuing.
“What I’m trying to say is… I’ve never felt this way before. Not for anyone. Coming from me, it probably sounds like an exaggeration, but I get really nervous around you, Reg. I can hardly maintain eye contact with you. I’ve only done it once and it did things to me—as if I’d always been in some kind of protective shell and you had me completely unraveled...” James ended off, suddenly finding the stars above to be extremely interesting.
“…James…” Regulus swallowed. His hands suddenly felt extremely warm, he was almost positive they were dripping from how timid he felt. His whole face was burning, and he really wasn’t sure if responding in that state was a good idea.
James perked up at the sound of his first name, but settled down to justify himself.
“You don’t have to reply. I just have a lot to say, and I thought it was important to talk to you about it before you could label me as a total freak.” The Gryffindor continued, now fidgeting with his fingers.
Regulus couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at his words. It seemed so surreal to witness James Potter reduced to a blushing mess while knowing that he was the reason.
“Did you know I’m pretty funny if I try?”
James quirked up a brow. “I’m very observant, Reggie. Your reticence doesn’t intimidate me.”
“I’m always thinking about you, you know.” James mumbled shyly.
“I never think about you at all.” Regulus replied.
James squinted his eyes at the other. “But you’re wearing the necklace I gave you!”
All his attempts at nonchalance seemed to have been thrown miles away. Regulus burst out laughing in an instant.
“Does my suffering delight you?” James pouted.
“Don’t pout, Potter. I’m only jesting.”
“I’m Potter again already?” The boy whinged.
Regulus sighed, shaking his head in mock-vexation. “Sorry, James.”
His words were met with a smile, and all of his previous worries and feelings of unease were washed away instantly. Regulus suddenly understood why Icarus chose to fly so close to the sun. Who could resist such captivating warmth?
“I know I told you that you don’t have to say anything, but don’t you have a response at all?” James asked, finally looking at Regulus.
The younger Slytherin was caught completely off-guard. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he forgot to respond.
Regulus rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, looking down. “Oh, erm… I like you too, if that’s what you’re asking.”
James brightened “I love you!”
Regulus gasped, immediately hitting the other’s shoulder. “Don’t spout nonsense at me!”
“I still love you, Black! Don’t doubt my sincerity, not ever!” James insisted, his hand clenching his shirt’s fabric right on top of his chest.
“Your heart’s on the other side, you dunce.”
“You’re so good to me already, love.” James grinned, wrapping his arms around Regulus in a suffocating embrace.
The latter held on tighter, snickering into Regulus’ shoulder. “You don’t have to act so scornful.”
Regulus huffed, ultimately accepting his fate. “‘M not acting scornful.”
“Mm… No, you’re not…” James nuzzled deeper, and Regulus’ expression softened completely.
It was a natural response, really. James was a whole galaxy, and Regulus was useless against its gravitational pull.
