Raven

Helloooo!

Here is a little bit about me. I'm currently in that scary bracket between 35 and 40. Trying not to think about it too much...

I go by all pronouns (She/He/They) depending on the day and brain space. Most of my friends and family stick to They as apparently it isn't always easy for them to guess based on my, as I believe, very cool dress sense!

I am fully on the spicy brain spectrum, so when I think about the fandoms I'm in, I suddenly realise I have a lot of hyperfocus fandoms and ships, but I am super okay with that.

A few of them though are: Supernatural; Marauders, with a touch of Drarry; Helleva Boss and Hazbin Hotel; The Starless Sea; Hunger Games; SJ Maas Universe; Rebecca Yarros Universe. I'm sure I'll add more as I remember them!

I am currently writing fics for Marauders and Destiel. I possibly will write some Drarry in the future, but nothing concrete yet. Keep watching this space.

I love being in these fandoms, but am very aware of the stigma that comes with being anyway connected to the Harry Potter world. To be very, very clear: FUCK "JAKE HAY ROWLING"! I do not endorse her in anyway. Which is why I am more than happy to make every single character in the HP universe queer in some way!

My music taste is extremely varied, but like any good queer human, I love David Bowie, Blondie, Brandi Carlile, Taylor Swift and Amy McDonald, The Last Dinner Party, Wet Leg and Self Esteem. But will listen to pretty much most genres and artists. I'm always on the lookout for recommendations.

I do have an AO3 and I will start posting my micros and long-form stories there. There will be a fix of ratings and warnings, as I do enjoy delving into the more explicit details from time to time. If you fancy it, drop on by and if you feel so inclined, leave some kudos and/or a comment. You can find me at:

I think that's probably enough to ramble on about for now, but the above is gonna change as I find more things to hyperfocus on!

If you wanna drop me a question, or just say hi, feel free. I love interacting with like minded, Tumblr weirdos.

Regulus stood outside of Sirius’ front door, hand raised poised to knock, but he couldn’t do it. He was chewing nervously on his bottom lip and he could feel his heart pounding in his ears.

Just as he was about to give up and run away, the door flew open and he was suddenly staring up at his older sibling.

“I got bored waiting to see if you would actually knock.” Sirius told him in answer to his silent question, pointing to the camera on the side of the door Regulus hadn’t seen. “You gonna come in now the door is open?”

Regulus swallowed and nodded, stepping over the threshold and into Sirius’ flat.

Remus was sitting on the sofa, he had his feet up on the coffee table and there was a book resting in his lap.

“That’s a good one.” Regulus pointed at the book. “I finished it last week.”

Why was his voice so quite? Fuck.

“Reg, you alright?” Sirius asked, as they placed a gentle hand on Regulus’ shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s…I just…” Regulus sighed heavily and collapsed down on to the sofa next to Remus.

“What’s happened?” Remus put his book down. “Is it James? Did he do something?” Remus asked firmly, fury flashed across his eyes and Regulus was quick to shut it down.

“No, no, he didn’t do anything. He’s really great.”

“Then what’s going on?” Sirius asked as they sat down and placed a fresh cup of chamomile tea down in front of Regulus.

“I…I…” Regulus took a deep breath and then sipped at his tea, collecting his thoughts. “I need some help.”

Normally, Sirius would make some kind of joke at that statement. There must be something on Regulus’ face that was telling Sirius how serious this situation was. Remus stood up with his book and excused himself. Leaving the Black siblings to it.

“You can ask me anything, you know.” Sirius rubbed their hand up Regulus’ back and Regulus breathed in deeply, relaxing into the touch.

“How did you know?” Sirius stayed silent, giving Regulus the space to get his words out. “That you’re not always a boy, I mean.”

“Ah,” Regulus heard the smile in Sirius’ voice. “What do you want to know, Reggie?”

“How did you figure it out?”

“Well, I didn’t really have the words at the time, but I knew that there was something different. So, I started small. I tried eye liner and nail varnish, only when mum and dad weren’t around, obviously. Then, one day, I was out shopping with Lily and Marlene and they caught me staring at the skirts they were trying on. So, they dragged me into the changing room with them and encouraged me to try one on.” Sirius was smiling fondly at the memory and Regulus found himself smiling back. “The rest is history.”

“Do you…can I…” Regulus chewed on his lip again and Sirius pulled it loose with his thumb.

“Stop chewing on your lip, you’ll make it bleed.” His sibling gently chastised him. “Come on.” Sirius took his hand and stood up.

They went to Sirius’ bedroom, where Remus was sitting up on the bed and reading.

“Switch.” Sirius said, as they let go of Regulus’ hand and went over to the chest of drawers.

Remus didn’t ask any follow up questions, just smiled and left the room.

“Right, here.” Sirius held out a black skirt to him and Regulus’ eyes went wide.

“What? Now?”

“No time like the present. Remember, gender is just a construct. If you don’t like it, then you don’t need to try anything else on.”

Over the next hour and a half, Sirius helped Regulus try on multiple outfits from their wardrobe, some more feminine than others, some more neutral. Sirius said it was because some days they were more they than he or she.

“Reggie? How’s it looking?” Sirius called to him through the bathroom door. “Is that the one?”

Regulus’ hands were shaking as he looked at his reflection. The black dress fit his curves and accentuated his hips and made his legs and arms look amazing. Add in the subtle makeup and half up-do that Sirius had done for him and Regulus couldn’t believe how comfortable he felt.

Not just comfortable…

“Hot.” Sirius said from next to him. “Soz, but when you didn’t answer I thought you might be freaking out, so I thought I should just barge in.”

“It’s alright.”

“You do look amazing, though.”

“Thank you, Siri.” Regulus felt himself welling up, but Sirius shouted at him.

“Don’t! You’ll smudge your makeup.” Sirius beamed at him. “Fancy showing off your new look?”

Regulus laughed. “Alright.”

“One last thing, to really make your legs pop.” Sirius held up a pair of black heels. Regulus gulped and just nodded. “Here, I’ll help. They’re a bitch to get used to.”

Once the shoes were in place, Sirius led Regulus into the living room, calling out to Remus as they walked.

When they stepped into the room, Regulus froze and the smile dropped from his face.

James was staring at him unblinking and Regulus felt like he was going to vomit. Why was he here? What if James hated this? What if he thought Regulus was a freak and wanted nothing more to do with him?

“Reg, you look…” Regulus watched the lump in James’ throat bob as he swallowed.

“Do you like it?” Regulus was shaking with nerves as James stood right in front of him, running his fingers up both of Regulus’ arms.

“Like it?” The look on James’ face suddenly turned predatory. “Fuck, baby, you look delicious.”

“There are other people in the room you know!” Sirius made a heaving sound.

James ignored Sirius as he ran his fingers over Regulus’ hips. “Wanna go home?” He growled.

Regulus nodded.

James sat on the edge of the bed and stared into his open closet. Clothes pulled out and shoes askew.

“What are you doing?”

James looked up and saw Regulus standing in their bedroom doorway, watching him with a confused look on his face.

“I have nothing to wear.” James mumbled.

“James, you’ve literally got an entire wardrobe overflowing with clothes.” Regulus chuckled as he moved further into the room.

“But none of it is good enough!” James whined before he could catch himself.

Regulus was standing in front of him and he lifted his chin up. “Good enough for what, darling? Maybe I can help.”

James gulped. He hadn’t meant to draw Reg into his dilemma. He had been hoping to keep his secret a little longer. At least until the wine had been poured at dinner.

Regulus smiled softly down at him and brushed his fingers through James’ hair.

“Sweetheart? Why is tonight’s dinner so important?” Regulus’ voice was low and calm.

“I need to do it right.”

“Bells and whistles?” Regulus huffed a laugh.

“Because I wanted it to be special.” James blinked up at him.

Regulus climbed onto James lap, his knees bracketing James’ hips and James wrapped his arms around Regulus’ waist, pulling him close and breathing him in. Regulus buried his fingers in the hair at the back of James’ neck.

“Just ask me.” Regulus whispered into James’ ear.

“Reg. Regulus. Marry me?” James breathed out as they held each other tightly and he felt Reg grinning against him.

Regulus had never wanted for anything in his life. Well, that wasn’t true, but it was at least 90% true.

His parents might have been terrible people who made his life miserable growing up, but he had fine clothes and beautiful writing sets and a potions kit to rival even that of Flamel.

He had never been denied a thing. Nothing that truly mattered.

Not until now.

Somehow, his parents had found out about his, in their words, dalliance with one James Potter, a blood traitor and someone that Regulus should under no circumstances find himself embroiled with.

Regulus wasn’t sure how they had found out, but he had his suspicions. Mulciber and his cronies had been less than subtle about their sudden interest in Regulus’ whereabouts at school.

Regulus had everything and yet, he was miserable, right down in his very soul. To deny himself James was heart breaking.

They had had a plan. Sirius and Regulus were going to escape their nightmarish parents and run away to the Potter’s. Effie and Monty had been expecting them both. It was all arranged.

However, when the time to run came, something went wrong. Just as Sirius was about to apparate them both from Platform 9 ¾ to Potter Manor, a cold hand had clamped around his wrist and Regulus watched in horror as his brother was spliced away from him 

Regulus knew that Sirius would have made it to the manor and he would be safe, but Regulus was stuck at Grimmauld Place, slowly becoming too depressed to fight.

Since his return a week ago, he had been locked in his bedroom, banished there as punishment, only let out for meals. For which he was summoned by Kreacher, who always looked at him with a certain amount of pity that Regulus resented.

This evening’s meal had been particularly awful. For the entirety of dinner, Regulus had to listen to his parents berate and discuss with venom had awful both James and Sirius were. This is how Regulus had found out that Walburga and Orion knew of Regulus and James’ relationship.

For almost two hours, they put James and Sirius down, dragging Monty and Effie in too. They were all traitors and Regulus was commanded never to see any of them again.

“There will be none of this nonsense at Beauxbatons.” He heard his mother crow.

“What?” Regulus gasped, tuning back into the tirade.

“You are officially enrolled in Beauxbatons from September. You shall continue your education there, away from any unsavoury distractions.” His father chimed in.

“No.” Regulus choked out. “Please, don’t send me away.”

“Stop your snivelling, you ridiculous boy.” His father chastised with distain. “Return to your room. I cannot stand to look at you.”

Regulus was shaking as he ascended the stairs back to his room. His cell.

Beauxbatons. France. No more Sirius. No more James.

Regulus felt his whole body crumbling.

He shut the bedroom door and heard the lock click into place, ensuring he could not leave without their permission.

He moved to his bedroom window and threw it wide open. Grateful his parents hadn’t yet put bars on them. He breathed in the fresh night air and stared up at the rising moon.

No more Sirius. No more James.

No more Sirius. No more James.

No more Sirius. No more James.

The mantra repeating itself in his mind as he continued to stare at the moon.

He felt the tears cascading down his cheeks, but he didn’t move to dry them, there would be no point. He would continue to cry until he was a dried out husk.

No more Sirius. No more James.

No more Sirius. No more…

A figure appeared from thin air right in front of him, hovering on a broom right outside of his window, right within arm’s reach.

“James?” He chocked out.

“Hello, love.”

“Wha…?”

“Fancy a lift?” James smiled gently at him.

Regulus didn’t need to be asked twice. He grabbed his wand, climbed onto the windowsill and onto the back of James’ broom, sliding his arms around his boyfriends waist, feeling the warmth of his body pressed to Regulus’ chest.

James curled a hand over Regulus’. “Let’s go home.”

Remus checked his phone for the fourth time in as many minutes and James rolled his eyes.

“Mate, I swear, if we’ve been stood up-”

“We haven’t!” Remus interrupted.

“If we have, I will never, ever wingman for you again.”

James didn’t know how he had let Remus talk him into a blind, double date.

Apparently, this Regulus guy could only come meet Rem if he brought his brother with him and when he asked Remus if he had a friend, specifically a male friend, that he could introduce to his big brother, Remus had begged James to come with him and James, being the best wingman there is, had begrudgingly agreed.

Maybe it would be alright. Maybe this Sirius bloke would turn out to be good company.

“Oh shit, I think that’s them.” Remus’ breathless exclamation drew James’ attention to the doorway.

Two, extremely beautiful men stood by the host desk. Both of them had the same curly black hair and sharp cheekbones, that somehow made them both look ethereal and James was struck by how fitting their names were. Celestial names for Celestial beings.

The taller of the two had a brazen smile on his face as he cast his eyes around the room and bent down to ask something of the shorter man, who nodded and then seemed to catch Remus’ eye.

Rem gave a small wave as he stood and James copied, it was only polite after all.

“Hi,” Remus croaked out as the brothers reached their table and he coughed. “Regulus?”

Remus held his hand out to the shorter man and something tugged at James. Something like mild disappointment. Not that the taller man, Sirius, wasn’t just as beautiful, but his brother was…James couldn’t find the words.

“Alright? I’m Sirius.” The taller man held his hand out to James.

“Hi, sorry, I’m James.” The pair shook hands and James saw that Regulus and Remus were already sitting down, awkwardly looking at their menus. “Shall we order wine for the table?” He asked as he and Sirius took their own seats.

“Smashing idea, Jamie boy,” Sirius beamed as he snatched up the wine menu and started perusing it. “I’m something of a connoisseur about these things, mind if I pick?”

“Please.” James chuckled. Sirius was extremely sure of himself and James was pleasantly surprised.

The next hour went by fairly slowly as they ate and drank. James and Sirius had some similar interests, and whilst it was clear this wasn’t going anywhere, James was at least having an okay time making a potential new friend.

The silence from the other two, however, was starting to make James itchy. He hated awkward silences.

“So, Remus, Regulus tells me you’re a writer. Would I have read any of your work?” Sirius asked, breaking the stilted silence.

“Erm, I don’t know, maybe. I haven’t written anything for a major publication in a while.” Remus mumbled.

“That’s not true.” James jumped in, trying to big his best friend up. “You wrote that great piece for Novaro the other week.”

“Erm, yeah, I guess.” Remus hated talking himself up, but James encouragingly nudged his knee with his own. “It was about how the support for the British monarchy has dramatically declined since the death of the queen and there’s been a significant rise in support for a true democracy, especially amongst younger voters.”

“Wait,” Sirius interrupted and pulled his phone out, swiping madly on it. “You’re telling me you wrote this?” He held his phone up and James could see Remus’ article on the screen.

“Yeah,” Remus smiled awkwardly. “You have that just saved on your phone?”

“Fuck yes, this is brilliant. I’ve never read anything so well articulated and researched.” Sirius gushed, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks.

James noticed it about a fraction of a second before Regulus did and their eyes met. A glimmer of something was sparking between Sirius and Remus.

The rest of the meal was Sirius and Remus talking animatedly across the table to each other and ignoring Regulus and James, who just kept giving each other awkward glances.

When the waitress brought over their bill, James picked it up. “I’ve got this.”

Regulus looked like he wanted to protest, but Sirius and Remus thanked him and stood up.

Whilst James went to settle the bill, the other three headed to the door, agreeing to meet him outside.

When James followed them out a few minutes later, he found only Regulus waiting for him.

“Oh, where did the other two go?” James asked as he looked around for Remus.

“They left.” Regulus shrugged. “Together.”

“Oh.” James huffed a small laugh. “Probably shouldn’t be surprised.”

Regulus was shifting around, looking at his phone and worrying at his lip.

“Everything alright?” James asked.

“He was my lift.”

Ah.

“I can drop you home, if you like?” Regulus turned and looked at him with slight trepidation. “I promise I’m not a serial killer.” He hoped a joke would relax the small, beautiful creature stood in front of him, who seemed to be sizing him up.

“Do you want to get a drink?” The question caught James off guard.

“Er, yeah, alright.” James agreed, somewhat elated at this turn of events. “Any preferences? I don’t really know this area all that well.” James started to look up and down the street for a bar that didn’t look like it was full of rowdy students.

“Do you like whiskey?” James nodded. “I’ve got a bottle of sixteen year old Glengoyne Mizunara back at my place.” Regulus raised his eyebrows at James in invitation.

James hesitated for a fraction of a second, wondering if he should accept the invitation, he had only just met this man after all.

But, when a star makes you an offer, you’d be a fool to decline.

“Harry, you’ve been up there for hours, what are you doing?” Draco called up the ladder to their attic.

“Just trying to find something.” Harry called back to his husband, as his head appeared through the hole. “And I’ve been gone less than ten minutes.”   

“Well, I assumed you weren’t just in hiding from your sister, but you never can be too sure when it comes to you two.”

Harry chuckled. “Alright, fair, but this time, I’m not actually hiding. Something Eff said at dinner about our folks made me think and I got curious. So, I came up here to find the photo albums.”

“Fab, maybe you can bring them downstairs then, because you might not be in hiding from Euphemia, but I just might be if I’m left alone with her any longer.”

Harry looked up at his ruffled other half. “Sorry, Love. I’ll come down now.”

Draco rolled his eyes and disappeared back down the ladder, Harry following suit, dragging the box of photo albums with him.

As Harry went back into the living room, Draco mumbled something about putting the kettle on and went to hide in the kitchen.

“Where have you been?” His sister snarked at him. “Your husband’s been twitchy since you left. It’s irritating.”

“Don’t be rude, Eff. It’s not nice.” Harry chastised.

Effie stuck her tongue out and went back to scrolling on her phone.

“Here.” Harry dumped the box on her lap.

“Oi!” She shouted at him, as he knocked her phone out of her hand.

Harry sat down on the arm of her chair. “Serves you right. It’s rude to be on your phone when you have company.”

“Firstly, I was on my own. Secondly, I was replying to Pa, if you must know.” A sulky look appeared on her face, but Harry could see through it.

“How are they enjoying Italy?” Harry tried to keep his voice light.

“Fine,” she mumbled, as she started to rifle through the box without elaborating further. “What are all these?”

“Photo albums I got from dad when they moved. Thought you might want to look through them. We could make some copies if you like.”

“I’m not a child, Haz, I can be without my parents for a few weeks.”

“Well, technically, you are a child, it’s why you’ve been left to sulk at my house whilst our dad’s are on holiday.” Harry joked and was rewarded with a middle finger. “Don’t swear.” He swatted at her hand.

“Don’t see why they couldn’t have just left me at home.”

“Because you’re sixteen and no one trusts you not to trash the new place.” Harry told her.

When dad had called to ask if Harry and Draco could have Effie for the summer holidays, Harry had been more than happy to let her stay, he and Draco weren’t going away until later in the year.

Draco had been slightly less happy about the arrangement. He and Effie had never really got on all that well. Harry was hoping that these first few days of snarking were just the pair of them settling in and that this was not going to be his life for the next five and a half weeks.

“Eff? What’s wrong?” Harry asked gently when he saw the tears tracking down her cheeks.

“It’s stupid.”

“I bet it’s not.”

“It is! What kind of sixteen year old can’t be away from her dads for more than two days without wanting to cry?”

“Oh, Eff.” Harry wrapped one of his arms around his sisters shoulders. “It’s okay to miss them. Come on.” Harry shook her shoulders gently and dropped his voice. “Let’s go wind up Draco, that’ll cheer you up and then we can call pa and guilt him into buying you a very expensive present to make up for abandoning you with your annoying older brother and his ridiculous husband.”

“I heard that!” Draco shouted from the kitchen and whilst Harry knew he was going to be in a world of trouble later, it was worth it to hear his little sister laugh with genuine humour.

Regulus was fuming to say the very least. This shouldn’t have been possible.

He stood staring at the potion bottle that had been placed down in front of him with a unrestrained whoop.

“Told you I could finish first!” Potter crowed over him and Regulus could feel his left eye twitch.

“How?” He gritted out through his clenched teeth.

“I told you, Reggie, pride cometh before a fall.”

James Potter was standing, proud as punch, in front of him, his arms crossed and wearing a shit eating grin on his face.

“But…but…you’re shit at potions!” Regulus baulked.

“Correction, I was shit at potions, but it turns out, I had an excellent tutor.” Potter winked at him and Regulus tried to fight the blush forming on his cheeks. “Here in front of you is the evidence. One perfectly brewed sleeping draught.”

Regulus stared at the offence bottle sitting on the table. It shouldn’t have been possible for this idiot to have finished the potion before him. He had been following the steps from memory and in perfect order.

“It must be wrong. You finished too quickly.” Regulus tried to find a reason, even though he knew from the colour of the liquid it would, in fact, be perfect.

“You’re welcome to try it,” James teased. “But not until after I claim my prize.”

Oh shit.

Regulus should have known better. Potter had been too eager when talking Regulus into taking the bet, but Regulus was the best in the school at potions, had been since his first year and now he was going to pay for his hubris.

Regulus resigned himself to his fate. “Go on then, get it over with.”

The smirk dropped from Potter’s face as he moved around the table to stand directly in front of Regulus.

“Go out with me.” James said softly.

“What?” Regulus’ mouth dropped open, sure he had misheard.

“I want you to go out with me?”

“Why?”

“Because I like you and I think, I hope, you like me too.” Scrubbing at the back of his neck with nerves, James gave Regulus a crooked smile.

When did he start calling him James and not Potter?  

“You could have just asked me out.” The words were out before he could stop them, his heart was racing in his chest.

“Maybe, but I had to be sure you’d stay still long enough for me to try. You try very hard to avoid me these days.” James’ glance dropped to Regulus’ lips and Regulus was sure James must be able to hear his heart, it was beating too loud.

“Pot-”

“James.”

Regulus sucked in a breath and chewed on his bottom lip. “James.”

“Regulus.”

“You’re not,” Regulus swallowed and tried again. “This isn’t one of your horrid pranks is it?”

James tilted Regulus’ chin up with his knuckle. “I swear on my broomstick,” Regulus scoffed as he looked away. “On my mum, then,” Regulus looked back and saw the truth of it in James’ eyes. “I want you to go out with me and I don’t just mean on a date, although if you say yes, I will absolutely take you on as many dates as you want, but I mean, be my boyfriend.”

Regulus chewed his lip again, when had James gotten so close, they were practically chest to chest. Part of him was screaming how bad an idea this would be, but the other, louder part of him didn’t care.

“How do you do it?” Sirius asked.

“Huh?”

“James?”

“Oi!” James’ head popped up from where it had been bent over his Potions essay and he rubbed at the top of his head where something relatively solid had bounced off of it.

“I asked you a question.”

“Soz, Pads, but I still need another foot on this essay before tomorrow morning.” James pulled his textbook towards him. “Give me an hour.”

“An hour?! Eugh! Fine.”

Barely five minutes had passed before James was distracted again. Sirius had started sighing heavily and dramatically. James rolled his eyes and tried to block him out.

After another five minutes of progressively louder sighing and whimpers and fingers drumming on the table, James took a deep breath and looked up.

“What’s up, Pads?” James gritted out.

“Don’t worry about me, finish your homework.”

James knew the morose tone was put on, but he also knew he’d never get his essay finished if he didn’t give Sirius his attention now.

“You’ve got three minutes and then I’m going back to my essay.”

“Okay!” Sirius scooted closer to James side and leaned in conspiratorially. “I asked, how do you stand it?”

“Stand what, mate?”

“That.” Sirius pointed discreetly to the opposite side of the common room.

James looked over and saw Lily looking at Pandora with what Moony would call heart eyes. Lily and Pandora had been openly seeing each other for a couple of weeks now and of all people to have a problem with it, James would never have thought it would be Sirius.

“Mate,” James looked at Sirius with some concern. “Are you not okay with Lil being gay? Cause, that’s pretty fucked up.”

“What? Of course I don’t give a shit about her being gay.” Sirius scrunched his face up in confusion.

“Then why would you think I wouldn’t be okay with it? Do you think I’m some kind of bigoted arsehole? Cause honestly, fuck you if you think that poorly of me.” James started gathering all his stuff together to go finish studying somewhere away from Sirius.

“Prongs, mate, fuck sake, no.” Sirius grabbed his papers to stop him from leaving. “I meeeeean, seeing Lily with someone who isn’t you?”

Ohhhhh. Shit.

“Well, er, not really, mate.” James rubbed the back of his neck and tried to avoid making eye contact with Sirius.

“Why not?”

“Why did you ask me how I can stand it? You had a weird tone about it.” James fired back, avoiding the question and trying to keep Sirius distracted enough to stop prying open that box just yet.

“Oh, well, erm, no reason.” James watched as Sirius’ eyes flickered around the room, clearly avoiding looking at one person in particular.

James watched as Remus sat chatting away to Gideon Prewett, a man who James knew was not in any way interested in Remus and also that Remus was in no way interested in Gid, because he was too besotted with a certain curly haired lunatic sat way too close to James. James had to fight every instinct in him not to just shout at the pair of them most days.

“Mate, is there something in particular you are struggling to be able to tolerate right now?” James hedged gently.

“Me? No!” Sirius blustered. “Let’s get this essay finished, shall we?”

Before James could stop him, Sirius started riffling through his notes.

“It’s alright, I’ve got it.” James made to grab the notes back, but Sirius had already stopped and was staring at something in one of the margins. “Sirius, mate…” James tried again to snatch the paper, but Sirius pulled them out of his reach.

“James,” Sirius took a deep breath before he looked up and squinted at James. “Why is my brother leaving you messages and kisses on your notes?”

James’ eyes blew wide. “Erm…” James started looking around for a quick exit.

“Run.”

“What?” James croaked.

“Run.” Sirius warned one more time as he got to his feet.

James did not need to be told a third time.

Regulus had never been so stressed in his whole life, he was sure of it. Whose bright idea had it been to go to uni anyway? And studying advanced chemistry? What had he been thinking?!

“Reggie, mate, I’m begging you to calm the fuck down, before I put you down!” Evan shouted at him from the sofa.  

“What?” Regulus snapped at him.

“You’ve upturned every fucking drawer in this place and you’re mumbling to yourself like you’ve finally cracked. This flat is too small for your bullshit.”

“Oh, I’m sorry if my wish to pass my final exam is getting in the way of your nothing. How truly selfish of me.” Regulus rolled his eyes for added measure.

“Reggie, you’ll be fine, trust me.” Pandora cooed softly from the kitchenette, where she was brewing something that Regulus hoped was tea.

“You don’t know that!” Regulus whined.

“Reggie, you know your stuff. You’ll smash it, like always, and then James will take you out to celebrate.”

Regulus almost dropped his bag, but couldn’t stop the contents from spilling out all over the floor. “What?” His voice came out an octave higher than he had intended. He coughed to clear his throat as Pandora grinned knowingly at him.

Evan smacked him on the shoulder as he walked past him towards the fridge. “Mate, your little, whatever it is,” Evan waved his hand in the air. “With one mister James Potter is no secret.”

Before Regulus could save himself, there was a knock on their flat door and he ran to open it.

Saved by the metaphorical bell!

Regulus flung the door open and, as if he had been summoned, there stood James Potter himself, in all his sex god glory. He was sweaty and covered in mud, still wearing his rugby kit, he had clearly run here straight from practice and Regulus felt himself getting hotter the longer he stared.

“Hey, Love. Found this at my place and knew you’d need it for your exam.” James held out the pencil that Regulus had indeed been looking for. “I’ll meet you after, alright. I’d say good luck, but I know you’re not gonna need it.” James swept in and kissed him briefly on the cheek. “Bye, babe!” He shouted as he ran off back down the corridor.

Regulus hadn’t said a word.

He closed the door, point blank refusing to look at either Pandora or Evan, knowing that both of them would be wearing matching shit eating grins.

A.N. This is it, we have reached the end! This has been 93 instalments, 64,968 words and a hell of a lot of love! Thank you for reading along this far, it means the world. Whilst I maybe could have kept going, I didn't want to put our boys through anymore angst, or accidentally make this drag on for the sake of it. So, I'm ending it here. With Sirius being his usual pest of a brother, Harry being too cute and our boys deciding to move on and be happy! Enjoy!

First, Previous

Remus called whilst they were in the car and Sirius started to go into detail about how the mums at the school gate had been flirting outrageously and given their earlier conversation, all the grown ups knew exactly what Sirius was up to. So, when Sirius asked Remus how he was going to punish him, Regulus shouted at him and leaned into the back to confiscate his phone, telling Remus that Sirius would be home soon and then hanging up.

“Why are you in trouble?” Harry asked innocently and Sirius blushed.

“Don’t you dare.” Regulus hissed before Sirius could answer. “Because he didn’t do his chores.” Regulus told Harry in answer.

“Oh, that is naughty.” Harry said and shook his head as he sucked his teeth into his mouth. “You should always do you chores. Isn’t that right, Papa?” Harry could be a sanctimonious little shit sometimes.

“That is right, Harry.”

Two peas in a smug pod James thought to himself with a silent chuckle.

When they pulled into their drive, Sirius said a quick goodbye to Harry and jumped into his own car.

“Love you, Reggie!” Sirius shouted out of his window, looking far too excited for his own good.

“Lose my number, you hellion!” Regulus shouted back as he helped Harry get out of the car and watched Sirius as he all but sped down their street.

“What’s a hellion?” Harry asked as he skipped up the path to the front door.

“Your Uncle Sirius.” Regulus replied instantly. “It means a huge silly, goose.” Regulus added causing Harry to burst out laughing.

As James watched his whole world walk into their house, laughing and chattering away, James was reminded once again how lucky he really was.

Later that night, after Harry had finally tuckered himself out, James and Regulus were sitting on the garden swing, Regulus tucked up under James’ arm with his head on James’ shoulder, enjoying the last of the late summer warmth as they lazily swung back and forth.

“Jamie?”

“Hmm.” James brushed his fingers through his husband’s hair.

“I think…” Regulus paused.

“What, Love?”

“I think, I want another baby.” James froze. “Would that be something you might be interested in?” Regulus asked hesitantly.

James pulled Regulus’ face round so he could look directly at him, his eyes were wide and brimming with tears. “Are you serious?” Regulus nodded. “Fuck yes!” James swept his beautiful husband into his arms and onto his lap.

“Are you sure?” Regulus asked as a tear dropped onto his cheek.

“Oh my god, baby, one hundred percent, I’m so in! We can start looking at options tomorrow.”

Regulus chuckled softly. “Okay.” Regulus kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you.” James replied and wrapped his Regulus up in a tight hug.

Here, in their little slice of heaven, was everything he had ever wanted for himself. He had been so close to losing it all, but their family had come through for them, as they always would and James would never stop being thankful for them.

They may never know what happened to Walburga and really, James couldn’t care less. He and Regulus were done letting her ruin their lives. Moody and his team would either find her, or they wouldn’t. If she was alive, James doubted that she would be stupid enough to come near them again and if she wasn’t alive, well then…

There would be a trial for the others and James would make sure they never saw the light of day again.

For now, he was going to concentrate on his husband, their son and their plan to grow their family.

A.N So, we're almost at the end of this not so little series. We're one or two instalments away and that's all she wrote, folks. Thank you to everyone that has stuck with it and read along. All your hearts and messages make me feel very special and appreciative of you all!

First, Previous, Last

“Not today, Haz.” James answered. Harry stuck his bottom lip out and then James looked down and saw Ron and Hermione making the same faces and he shook his head and laughed. “Maybe on the weekend, alright?”

All three of them sighed and James saw a glimpse into his future and it was terrifying.

Harry was wriggling to be put down, having just spotted his Uncle Sirius and, more importantly, Batty. Ron and Hermione had also just spotted them and were already playing with the puppy.

James clocked Molly and Monica (When he realised his husband always found a way to avoid names in Mrs. Granger’s presence Regulus had deduced that James had forgotten the poor woman’s name and reminded him) walking over to collect their own children.

“Should have realised this is where you were hiding.” Molly said by way of greeting.

“Mummy, can we get a puppy, please?” Ron begged.

“For the hundredth time, Ron. No.”

“We’ve been having the same argument in our house,” Monica shook her head.

“Well, lucky neither of you seems to have a brother who disregards your wishes and shows up with unwan-” Regulus looked down at the three small children playing with the puppy and course corrected. “Unannounced puppies.”

“Puppy, Reggie, singular. I didn’t bring you a whole litter.” Sirius joked and Regulus shot him a look that was clearly trying to convey his thoughts that were not appropriate for little ears.

James felt a tug on his jeans and looked down at Harry who signaled for him to bend down.

“What’s up, Haz?” James asked quietly, not quite sure why his son was acting so shy all of a sudden.

Harry leaned into James’ ear. “Can you ask about the sleepover, please?”

James blinked. “What sleepover?”

“You said not tonight, but on the weekend and that means sleepovers.”

James couldn’t work out where this logic had come from, but Harry seemed very determined and it had been a while since the other two had stayed over, so James nodded and hoped Reg would forgive him for saddling them with three 5 year olds on the weekend.

“Molly, Monica, if your two terrors don’t have plans this weekend, Harry would like to invite them over for a sleepover. We could take them both after school on Friday and drop them home Saturday afternoon?”

“Pretty please?” Three voices chorused and all the grown ups laughed, even Reg, thank god.

Molly and Monica both said it was fine and that seemed to be enough to keep all three of them happy for the time being.

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“So, Sirius, not that I’m not pleased to see you, but why have you turned up unannounced?” James asked casually.

“I wanted to see the little man on his first day of school.” Sirius shrugged.

“Well, he’s already there,” James could tell there was something else going on. “And we won’t be picking him up for another few hours, so spill.”

“Eugh, fine. Remus went into the city and I was bored.”

“You could always get a job.” Regulus’ comment was laced with sarcasm, but his brother chose to ignore it and instead he pulled a face.

“Sounds even more boring than sitting around at home waiting for my husband.”

As if he had heard this double declaration of boredom, Batty came tearing into the room and started jumping at Sirius’ ankles.

“Perfect, you can take Batty for his walk.” Regulus smirked.

“With pleasure,” Sirius shot back as he stuck his tongue out. “Come on, James. Let’s take this little monster out.”

James considered joining them for their walk for all of 0.5 seconds, before he caught the scandalised look on his husband’s face.

“Nah,” James wrapped an arm around Regulus. “I think Imma stay right here and finish what we started before you burst in.” James added on a wink for the hell of it.

“Eugh, fucking gross. Come on, Batty. Let’s take you away from this, you don’t need to see your grandparents like that.”

“The fuck did you just call me!” Regulus made to jump to his feet, but James held him back with a hearty laugh.

“Run, Sirius, before I let him go.” James threatened and laughed even harder as Sirius did actually run away, calling out to Batty to follow him.

“Did you hear what we called me?” Regulus’ eyes looked like they were going to bug out of his head.

“I did, baby, yes.” James chuckled.

“Grand…grand…I am not a grandparent. My child is only 5! How dar-”

James cut Regulus off by grabbing his face and pulling him into a searing kiss.

“We could talk about this, or…” James slid a hand up under Regulus top.

“Or. I choose or.” Regulus threw himself at James and they were both quickly divested of their clothes.

*

Sirius, graciously, gave them almost an hour and a half to themselves. Which was just enough time for them to have some fun and take a shower, where they had some more fun.

“You two decent?” Sirius’ voice called from the front hall as Batty came running into the kitchen and straight to his water bowl.

“Yes.” “No.” James and Regulus called out at the same time.

“Which is it? I do not want to see my brother naked!” Sirius screeched in panic.

Regulus looked like he was about to shout out, so James spoke over him quickly. “It’s fine, Sirius. We’re in the kitchen.”

“Phew. Put the kettle on, Jamie boy.” Sirius dropped into one of the chairs at the kitchen island and nabbed an orange from the fruit bowl.

James shook his head but did as he was sort of asked.

“How was your walk?”

“Yeah, it was good. Do you know how many fit people have dogs? Damn, I might have to convince Remus to let us get one, just so I have something to do during the day when he’s away.” Sirius waggled his eyebrows and Regulus made a gagging sound. “When are we picking Harry up?”

“Who said you’re invited?” Regulus scoffed.

“Pleeeeease, Reggie?” Sirius begged, clasping his hands together and sticking his bottom lip out. “Please, please, pleeeeeeease?”

Regulus let out a loud, heavy sigh. “Fine, but no flirting with the other parents.”

First, Previous, Next

*Still 7 weeks and one day ago*

“We’ve made a decision.” Regulus’ firm declaration made James smile.

“Uh uh.” Sirius pointed. “You made a decision, baby brother. Own that shit.”

Regulus rolled his eyes again at his ever ridiculous big brother.

“Fine, yes, I made a decision.” Regulus held up the letter. “I’m not going to read it.” He smiled at Sirius, who was grinning proudly back at him. “Siri read it and that’s enough. I’m going to give it to Moody and then I’m going to try very hard not to think about it anymore.”

“Baby, are you sure?” James asked with some trepidation. The last thing he wanted to do was push his husband, but he also didn’t want him to make a decision now that he might regret later.

“Jamie, I want this to be over, like we talked about.” James could see that Regulus had been crying, but the determination on his face was clear. “The only way I can do that is to say no more.”

James clasped Regulus’ hands together and kissed them. “Alright, baby. If that’s what you want to do, then that’s what we’ll do.”

*

So, that’s what they did. They spent another week in Devon, with their extended family, the Weasley’s and Granger’s. Then, almost as soon as they got home, Regulus called Moody and asked him to come over that same night.

Moody was suspicious of how they had come to receive a letter with no address and only his name on it, but they had agreed that they should leave out the part of how the letter had found it’s way to them. The story they gave Moody was that they had returned home from Devon and the letter was waiting for them on the doormat. They kept the truth that Sirius was the only one that had read it and that Regulus had no intention of reading its contents.

Moody agreed and told them that he would keep Sirius updated via Remus, of their progress.

He had been about to give them a progress report on the case against Peter, Snape and the others, when they were interrupted by Harry rolling into the room on an electric ride-on truck, Batty running behind him and barking with joy.   

“Papa, Daddy, look!” Harry looked beyond excited by his new toy, but Regulus looked like he was going to commit a murder of his own.

“Harry, where did you get that?” Regulus asked with a calmness that didn’t match his facial expressions.

“Uncle Batty and Uncle Rosie!”

“And where are your uncles?”

“Hiding outside. BEEP, BEEP!” Harry started driving loops around the kitchen island and James had to hold in his laughter.

“Right, that’s my cue to get out.” Moody declared. “Harry, you go careful now, don’t want to have to pull you over for speeding.” James was taken aback, he couldn’t remember a time he had ever heard Moody make a joke of any kind.

“Yes, sir.” Harry slowed down and James had to admit he was impressed his kid had actually listened.

“I’ll see myself out. James, Regulus.” Moody nodded to them and left them to deal with their terror.

*Present Day*

James chuckled to himself at the memory as he poured his and Sirius’ coffee and Regulus’ tea.

When he made it back into the living room, the brothers were no longer arguing, instead, they were sitting in silence, scowling at each other.

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*7 weeks and one day ago*

Sirius led Regulus upstairs and into the spare bedroom. He had walked into the main bedroom, but then he had decided the room smelt like sex and had turned around and walked into the other room instead.

Regulus rolled his eyes at his brother’s reaction.  He wasn’t wrong, he and James had had a lot of fun before passing out and then being woken by their idiot friends in the middle of the night, but he didn’t think the room actually smelt like sex.

“Sirius, what are you doing?”

His brother was currently stripping the pillows and blankets from the bed and putting them in a pile of the floor.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“It looks like you’re building a nest.”

“Bingo, baby brother.” Sirius dropped on top of the pillows, leaned up against the foot of the bed and wrapped one of the blankets around his shoulders, holding one side open. “Get in.”

Regulus sighed and joined his brother. “Now what?” He asked as he settled in and Sirius dropped the blanket over his shoulder.

“Now we open your letter.”

Regulus swallowed against the lump that had suddenly formed in the back of his throat. It’s not that he didn’t want to see what was written inside, but he was terrified. The last several months had been some of their most trying and that was saying a lot, given the hell that he and Sirius grew up in.

“You okay?” Sirius was making his voice small and steady, the way he did when they used to hide like this as kids. Regulus just shrugged. “Do you want me to open it for you?” Regulus nodded. “Alright.”

Sirius took his arm from off Regulus’ shoulder and opened the envelope, holding it so that Regulus wouldn’t be able to read it until he was ready.

Regulus and Sirius could fight like they hated each other. They would shout and storm around. But Sirius had always been Regulus’ staunchest protector and he knew, no matter how much they fought and bickered, that would never change.

Regulus shuffled himself over so he could lean on Sirius’ shoulder and hold onto his arm, with his eyes closed, just breathing in the calm scent of safety.

When Sirius had finished reading the note he carefully folded it up, put it back in the envelope and put it down between them. They sat in silence for a little longer, listening to the laughter from their partners and friends drifting up from the kitchen.

Sirius was the first to break the silence. “Do you want to know?”

Regulus started to chew on the inside of his cheek. “Would it change anything?”

“What do you mean?”

“If I read it, will it change anything? Will it bring mother back? Will it make things worse? Better?”

“Ah, I see.” Sirius took a minute before he replied. “Well, that depends on your perspective I guess.”

“Tell me what to do.” Regulus begged softly.

“I can’t do that Reggie.” Sirius stroked his hair. “But I can give you your options.” Regulus nodded as he sat up. “Option one, you read the letter and we start a manhunt for the people who took mother and find out what happened to her. Option two, we hand this letter over to Moody and his team, and we move on.”

“It’s a lot to take in.” Regulus let out a heavy sigh and he could feel his eyes welling up.

“It is.” “What would you do?” Regulus tried again, but his brother just shook his head.

“Sorry, Reggie. But this one is on you.”

“But she’s your mother too!” Regulus desperately pleaded. “You must have some thoughts.”

“True. But, fuck, this is gonna sound like I’m blaming you, and I’m really not.” Sirius squeezed his hand. “This has all been about you, Reggie. Mother deliberately targeted Harry in the hopes that you would come back into the fold. She had me kidnapped. She had James kidnapped. She did all of this, to get you back.” Regulus’ cheeks were damp, he hadn’t realised he had started crying. “Please don’t cry, Reggie.” Sirius wrapped him in a tight hug and Regulus gripped back just as tightly. “I wish I could take it away and choose for you…”

“I know,” Regulus sniffed and took a couple of wet, shaky breaths. “God, I just wish I could understand why she hates me so much.” He whimpered.

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t do that to yourself. You’ll never get an answer that helps.”

Regulus pulled back slightly so he could pick up the letter. He thought he recongised the penmanship, but he couldn’t quite figure it out. As he held the letter, he truly began to feel the weight of his decision.

As he sat there, contemplating his options, wrapped in the security of his big brother’s arms, the sound of his husband’s laughter reached him again. The sound made him think of Harry. He and James had developed the same laughter over the years and it made his heart soar.

Regulus took another calming breath and looked his brother in the eye.

First, Previous, Next

“I’m a bad parent.” Regulus sniffled into James’ chest.

“You’re not a bad parent.” James continued to stroke Regulus’ back and project an air of calm, in the hopes that Regulus would be able to calm down before school pick up.

“I am.”

“Why do you think you’re a bad parent, Love?”

“Because I just let Harry go off without saying goodbye. I didn’t check he had everything he needed, I just sent him into that school without a care.”

“Baby, don’t be silly. You know that isn’t true.” He dropped a kiss to his husband’s head and brushed his curls from his face. “You checked Harry’s bag five times before we left the house and twice in the car, even though I know you think I didn’t notice.” Regulus gave a wet chuckle. “And, I don’t want to set you off again, but it was Harry that ran off without saying goodbye, not you.”

“Oh, god. He did, didn’t he. He just ran off.”

James could see Regulus’ lip starting to wobble again and he swooped in and kissed it, stopping Regulus mid-sob.

“It’s a good thing, my darling. It means he felt safe and happy and we did that. You did that. You made him feel like he could go off and have a good day. Just like you did when he started nursery, remember.”

Regulus nodded and took a couple of shaky breaths. “Yes. You’re right.”

“Sorry?” James smirked and Regulus tilted his head with a glare. “I didn’t hear that?”

“Shut up.” Regulus sniffed as he smacked James on the chest and then sat up so he could reach his lip, kissing him slow and tender. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Reg. I’m just telling you what you already know.”

“Even so.” James watched as Regulus got that look in his eye that made James’ heart kick up a beat. “Maybe you could,” Regulus ran his hand slowly down James’ chest and pulled his shirt from the waistband of his jeans. “Help keep me distracted for a bit, seeing as how we have the house to ourselves.” Regulus began to slide his hand up and under his shirt and James sucked in a breath.

James shifted so he was less upright and pulled Regulus in closer to him. “Oh, I can definitely do th-”

The sound of the front door opening stopped them both, hands in each other’s waistbands.

“Oi, oi!” Sirius burst into their living room. “Eww, gross!” He shouted as he realised the position he had caught his brother and best friend in. “Get a room, for fuck sake.”

“This is our house!” Regulus huffed as he retreated away and James pouted. “Getting cockblocked by my brother in my own house is bullshit.” He mumbled under his breath.

“It’s the middle of the day!” Sirius retorted.

James decided to leave them to it. They would be bickering for a while and inevitably he would get caught up in it, so he went to put the kettle on instead.

As James stood in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil, he couldn’t help but think back to how this year could have ended so differently.

He thought back to that night he had pulled the glitter prank and how that felt like a lifetime ago now.

He tried not to think about Sirius’ abduction, or his own.

How Regulus had looked so broken as he found himself staring down in his abusive mother.

How they had found out that Remus’ government job was a lot more James Bond-esque than they had ever imagined.