Temporarily Inactive

it made me laugh in an unholy fashion at four in the goddamn morning, so here, have this.

Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

not if i drink enough alcohol! take that you prying creep

Alexa, release my inhibitions

Sending your pornhub search history to all contacts in your address book now.

FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN

“I’m not really mentally ill, I’m just faking this.” - A mentally ill proverb

i said this to my therapist and she just looked at me and said “so do you think i went to clown school”

My therapist nipped this in the bud by telling me that faking mental illness for so long and so believably that I fooled myself would qualify as a symptom of mental illness.

relationship goals

To be fair Pokemon element logic is rooted in normal logic.

yeah, everyone knows a wrestlers biggest weakness is the local pigeons

An action being “punishable by a fine” basically means “legal for rich people”.

Oh wow. That’s…

I once dated a rich guy and if I said “Hey it’s illegal to drink on the street” he’d respond with “Nah, it just costs £150″, or “You can’t park here!” “Yeh I can it costs £35″ like… literally… that’s how he saw fines, it was just how much you paid to do the thing. 

An angel

Wtf bats swim

Omfg

wow bats are very good

I love baby bats. 

I never noticed before the way a rainstorm depletes the cloud it comes from.

Did someone turn on the shower?

Nature takes a piss anywhere. Nature dgaf.