Dandelion Child

If you are at all curious about where I've been, here it is. I finished community college with a 3.4, moved onto a four year, currently have a 4.00 and am graduating in a few months. I've also gotten some of my writing published. Life has been difficult and my mental health diagnosis has shifted much, no one can agree on what I am so I just have "brain ain't built right" stamped onto my forehead while we figure it out. So far the largest theory is that I'm not bipolar, I'm autistic and have periods of stress induced psychosis. After being labeled as bipolar since I was 7, it has been a rough transition. I've been bipolar for as long as I can remember and have built a lot of my identity on it. It's difficult to ignore how much sense an autism diagnosis makes instead of bipolar. A lot of things that were regarded as my general personality can be explained with autism symptoms or autistic behavior. The fact that no medication has ever worked on me also makes sense; of course I would get side effects from meds and no relief from symptoms if I didn't have the disorder I was being treated for. This also has been a hard pill to swallow bc when I was in high school, I was overdosed by my prescriber and developed Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome which wasn't caught in time. I'm 27 and I still feel like dog shit over a decade later. I have chronic fatigue, brain fog, my body decayed and for what? I suffered for what? I still suffer for what? Because no one listened to me that something was wrong and they were so blinded by gender bias it almost killed me. I will never get better, I will never get an apology or justice for what's happened, and now I learn that none of it had to happen, even more than it already didn't. I was possibly prescribed a medication I didn't need for a disorder I possibly don't have. It's been difficult to come to terms with.