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The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services released a 275-page report Monday blaming the increasing failure rate of American marriages on Clearwater, FL, 11-year-old Tommy Breyer.
According to the study, in addition to being the cause of his own parents’ 1995 divorce, Breyer is also to blame for the breakup of more than 1.2 million couples each year.
“Because Tommy was not loving enough, or perhaps because he was not good enough,” the report stated, “American marriages are now failing at an unprecedented rate.”
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something i hate about modern internet is how lurking is so difficult now. you can't just go to a site and look at what people are posting, you get a popup you can't close that tells you YOU NEED AN ACCOUNT!!! aaah!
In January 2020, I attended Dr. Amy Cook's PLAY WAY seminar at Pasadena Humane Society. The seminar was about "social play" as a tool for rehabilitating reactive/stressed/fearful dogs.
"Social Play" has been defined as something different from playing with toys (tug, fetch, etc.) It is literally "goofing around" with your dog in a way that they like, that makes them happy. Body language responsiveness, movement and timing is everything.
Not only did we get to see some inspiring and entertaining video footage of Amy Cook playing with her dogs, some attendees had also brought their own dogs to play with, while Amy offered coaching.
We saw the Play Way live!
It was an amazing and delightful experience and I couldn't wait to get home to play with my 15 year old Boogie (now passed on) who hadn't been interested in Tug or Fetch in over a year due to his vision loss. The Play Way class was like learning a new language, a new vocabulary to play with my dog.
This infographic cannot possibly do justice to all the material covered in the Play Way seminar, which also focused on play as "therapy". For now, I hope this is enough to pique everyone's interest in the subject and how to be mindful and respectful of our dog's body language and of our own body language in conversations with our dog.
Also read: Whole Dog Journal article on The Play Way
Image description and text under readmore.
Description begins.
[image: Five pairs of dogs showing playful behaviors. From left to right: A dog playbows to another, a dog hipbumps another, a dog chases another dog that is running away, a larger dog rolls on its back, playfully wiggling to a smaller dog, and lastly, two dogs play bitey face.]
The Play Way with Amy Cook PhD. playwaydogs.com
illustrated by Lili Chin doggiedrawings.net
Social Play is an excellent way for a dog to be in a happy state of mind and to be physically relaxed or loosened up. Playing also lets us know if a dog is truly relaxed or concerned about anything, so we can more effectively help them feel better.
Good play is an INVITATION. We invite our dog when they are looking at us, not when they are busy. We don't pressure them, as grabbiness, pushiness, and nagging are a turn-off. Pause and greet again before making a new suggestion. If your dog doesn't take up your suggestion but is still attentive, try something new.
FLIRT! Use SUSPENSE.
Not all play involves touching, but good play will have an element of suspense! Take pauses. Do not rush.
Yes: Start with slower, softer energy.
Yes: Give your dog plenty of room to move around freely.
Yes: Invite, wait, listen to your dog's response (body language)
Yes: Take "no" as an answer. PAUSE. Try something different.
No: Don't make your dog feel trapped or overwhelmed.
No: Don't make your dog wrong.
You want your dog to feel SAFE to open up and play with you.
IF you touch your dog, use the 3-SECOND RULE. Pull back after 3 seconds, staying engaged. Does your dog come back to you?
[Image sequence: Greet: A human claps their hands then says hi and reaches their palms out towards a small dog, which wags its tail. Friendly Pause: The human pauses, kneeling on the ground gently reaching out towards the dog, which stands still, confused. The human leans back, bringing their arms back in. The dog orients to them, thinking: “maybe”. Greet Again, New Invitation: The human turns away from the dog, folding down towards the ground and turning their face to look at the dog from over their shoulder. They say, hello! The dog approaches the human. Then, the human taps their fingers along the ground, and the dog playfully investigates, thinking “interesting”. Finally, the human leans back up, still kneeling, playfully wiggling their fingers in the air in front of them, and the dog happily play bows.]
With SOCIAL PLAY, the use of toys or food is not essential because you are not teaching your dog how to play. You are playing with your dog and learning what they like!
[Image: A vertical gradient scale goes from a reddish 8 at the top to a yellow 1 down at the bottom. A dash-line box encloses the numbers 5, 4, and 3, and the happy faces of a human and dog.]
Be in your dog's ENERGY RANGE!
What is your dog's energy level?
If your dog is overexcited (eg, 8) slow down to a 6-7.
If your dog is unsure or shy (eg, 2) try 1-3.
Play is a CONVERSATION. Here are some ideas to develop a "play vocabulary" with your dog:
YOU are the PREDATOR!
* Stay on the floor
[Image: Four vertically aligned orange squares showing play moves: 1. “Claw” Hands- Hands outstretched, fingers curled into “claws”. 2. Flat Hands- Hand outstretched, fingers pressed flat together, wrist bent back. 3. “Bitey” hands- A variation on “claw” hands where the fingers wriggle to “bite”. 4. “HAR” mouth- a human with their mouth open in a bitey-face gesture.]
[Image: A series of play interactions between a human and a dog. 1. The human play bows at the dog, kneeling with their arms splayed out onto the floor, saying “I’m gonna getcha!” 2. The human holds claw hands out towards the dog- Suspense! 3. The human gently pushes the dog back on the chest, saying “Silly puppy!” The dog pushes back towards the hand. 4. The human uses bitey hand to gently grab at the dog’s muzzle, and says “Bite you!” 5. The human uses a finger to poke the dog’s butt. 6. “Head butt!” The human gets on all fours and butts into the dog’s side with their head. 7. The human uses bitey hand to grab at the dog’s butt. “Bite your butt!”]
YOU are the PREY!
[Image: Four vertically aligned orange squares showing play moves: 1. Hiding face- A human hides their face behind their hands. 2. Pulling away- A human on all fours leans away from the action. 3. Piano hands- a human dances their fingers across the floor. 4. Rolling, flopping over- a human rolls onto their back, legs in the air and arms folded into their chest.]
[Image: A series of play interactions between a human and a dog. 1. A human crawls away from a dog on all fours, then peeks over their shoulder at the dog, asking “Gonna get me?”. Then, the dog jumps up onto the kneeling human. The human rolls onto their back and celebrates with the dog, “You got me!” 2. The human kneels, folded forward onto the floor doing piano hands. They say “Hello”. The dog approaches, and the human hides their face from the dog. Then, the dog fake bites the human’s cheek, tail wagging. 3. A dog watches curiously as a human shakes out a blanket. The human then hides under the blanket and the dog climbs up onto them, thinking “You silly! I get you!”]
How is your dog responding?
[Image: a human kneels on the floor and watches as the dog walks away from them. It thinks “need to look.”]
If your dog disconnects from you and looks towards something more interesting or concerning (that is not too close), let them process the other thing. Don't pressure them to come back to you.
When you let your dog look and dismiss the other thing on their own, the more of their attention that you really have when you get it!
NOPE. You are being WEIRD.
[Image: four examples of a dog showing stress. 1. Look Away: A dog turns and looks away. 2. Shake off- A dog shakes off like they’re wet. 3. Stress yawn- A dog yawns. 4. Busy Sniffing- a dog sniffs the ground.]
At first you may get a lot of "Not Now"s. If your dog shows confused signals or becomes busy doing other stuff, hold back. (Especially with the “shy" dogs) Your dog may not understand what you are doing.
When they approach you again, check your energy level, greet again, and try something different.
[Image: A human wiggles their fingers at a dog, which play bows with an open mouth and says “Bite you!”. Another drawing of the dog play bowing facing forwards and panting, tail wagging.]
When you do something that your dog likes, they will keep coming back to you. Their bodies are loose and curved. They may roll around, jump on you, or fake-bite you. They may even laugh!
Now that you know what your dog likes, you can do it over and over again!
Taught by Dr. Amy Cook playwaydogs.com
illustrated by Lili Chin doggiedrawings.net
Description ends.
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