A bunch of meme and schemes

JERANN: Thank You For Taking A Call, Kalian. I Know You Don’t Typically Speak To The Press

KALIAN: i dont typically speak to pigs either but ill make an exception 4 u jerbear ;)

Excuse Me

relax im kiddin ;) kinda ;)

You’re Quite The Multipotentialite. Model. Sharpshooter. Influencer. Some Have Even Described You As... Dangerous

the less im quoted the longer i keep my account so noooo comment :)

You’ve Been In Cridea’s Inner Circle Since Before Her Rise To Fame. You’ve Seen Everything. The Sponsorships, The Scandals, The Sudden “Disinvitations”

haha yea its been a wiiild ride ;)

How Does One Maintain That Level Of Influence While Staying “Authentic”? What's Really Going On Behind The Scenes?

bby thats like asking how the tide rolls in :) its not about “authenticity” the way everybody pretends it is

Then What’s The Real Secret Behind The Jeevik Brand?

well u gotta understand “brand” itself is a loadbearing construct in a post-scarcity society right ;) weve refined reification into an artform n brand is a sorta mass hallucination that turns interpersonal loyalty into commodity fetishism. when uve eliminated material deprivation u have to invent new forms of hunger or else everyone gets bored n starts looking 2 closely at the system :) its not enough to BE something, u have to simulate its market value thru a ritual of emulating scarcity. we instinctively seek to recreate these structures even in a setting where all of our immediate needs are met. u see it in how ppl talk dress socialize n perform taste w this deep rooted need 2 rank each other n generate friction like the more abundant the world gets the more desperate everyone is 2 feel like smth could still run out. and thats where the hemospectrum comes in :) u rnt just ranked socially, u r legally ranked in terms of who can kill who n who can take what. its the ultimate artificial scarcity baked into the foundation of society. highbloods get infinite material wealth n security, but they gotta chase prestige n dominance like its oxygen. lowbloods r provided resources purely so that they can b expropriated by the same systems that provided those resources in the 1st place, so their existence becums performative too ;) all of this is connected in a systematized rehearsal of scarcity. a way to make everyone, high or low, feel that hunger even if their necessities are guaranteed. we create markets for artificial currencies that only exist because weve taken away the real ones. u r always computing where u stand, what u own symbolically, who u can dominate or manipulate ;) the whole machine turns desire into a metric. and the higher u r on the spectrum, the more you need to pretend deprivation exists at all, or else the whole system collapses into listless introspection

I’m Not Sure What That Means To Be Honest

maybe we should talk about my holes instead ;)

No Thank You

ive also got a biiiiiiig.................. gun ;) 

No Kalian

suit urself >:(

Allow Me To Pivot To A More Salient Topic: Luxora Greggs Suggested To Me That Your “Opinions” About Her May Have Caused Cridea To Hesitate To Invite Her To Jeevik Week

oh well its no fuckin secret i hate that dumb bitch ;)

Wow. Tell Me How You Really Feel 

shes an annoying sanctimonious cunt what more is there to say :)

Well I Appreciate Your Candor

i was soooooo fuckin glad when cridea finally kicked that cracked broad to the curb. if i had 2 listen to her whine in that stupid fucking accent for one more second i might have slit my own throat with a butter knife tbh

Wow. Okay

every day before i get into my recuperacoon i pray she falls into one of those meat grinders they use to cut up livestock

Let The Record State That I’m Not Encouraging This. He Just Keeps Saying Things

[There Was A Long Period Of Uncomfortable Silence Over The Phone. Well The Silence Was Quite Uncomfortable For Me But I Suspect The Other Party Felt May Have Derived Some Malicious Gratification From My Obvious Displeasure]

... So. I Hear Your Holes Are Very Popular

oh u bet ;) its too bad u got uninvited or id show u baby ;)

Kalian We’ve Met Dozens Of Times I Know You’re Just Trying To Make Me Uncomfortable

n yet here u are, callin me up like a stranger when u know i keep my bucketing slab reeeel warm... ;) 

You Mean Cridea’s Couch

o is this the part of the profile where u mock me for my broken hive life ;) i cant go home haha so funny

Can’t You Just Give A Normal Interview This Isn’t What We Talked About

mmmm y dont u cum over n let ur fronds do the talkin...

I’m Hanging Up Now

no baby dont go im so close :(

Goodbye Kalian

Then I Hung Up.

Though One May Hasten To Declare This Substantively Vacuous Interview To Be Perhaps The Most Worthless Passage Of Text Ever Put To Print, I Posit That It Is In Fact An Invaluable Illumination Of One Crucial Fact:

Readers, THIS Is The Company That Cridea Jeevik Keeps.

Need I Say More?

But Do Not Fret. I Am Ecstatic To Report That At Least One Mystery Will Be Definitively Solved In The Next Installment of Private Favors & Public Lies: The Traitorous Truth Behind VIP Day...