vampires who volunteer at nursing homes so they can meet people their own age

#vampires who volunteer at nursing homes so they can hit on senior citizens that are way too young for them

its ok theyre Gods lil helpers

And boy are they clumsy

Hi, these bees are babies! They’re not clumsy at all, this is what is called orientation flights. After birth and before beginning their careers as foragers (as all Honey bees cycle through all the jobs in the Hive throughout their lifespan), Honey bees take short flights back and forth, to and from the Hive, to orient themselves with their wings and their home so they can learn its location and how to get back home after foraging! Everyone has to learn, these are just smol little baby turkeys. Bees use the angle of the sun for location so adults have a better and more direct sense of location than any human

BONK!

Love conversations where every single participant has certified Issues

One guys issue is not knowing vampires are real. I feel him

Love burying the lead "he's 33 I'm 22-" bitch he is 433 give or take

He doesn't know how to divide by 2.

@nightcrawler-fan @iceandbone

...why does this have better writing than most actual comedy series about fantasy characters?

.... is one of those guys Blade?

Alright guys pit your shirts back on you’re turning the moon gay

elephant shrews are more closely related to elephants than shrews

[ID: a photo of the kitten Belphegor perched on the edge of a bath tub. His facial markings and expression makes him appear wretched or despondent. /end ID]

wtf this is MY timeloop u can't be in here

Honestly if you say or do something strange, an employee probably WILL tell all their coworkers about it all day, however they’ll basically never remember it was you specifically and instead just a faceless “customer” amalgamation of every time someone said something to them. Plus you’re giving them enrichment and something to mutually bond over. So really you’re doing an important service by being a little awkward.

I got whatever ADHD is called

ADHD is called ADHD.

That’s the one

One bird in my neighborhood starts chirping at 4am, way earlier than the other birds in my neighborhood. If you think about it, it’s actually really annoying, and it probably pisses off the other birds too, including me, who isn’t even a bird.

It's fun when the robot character in the sci-fi show gets cut in half because nobody working on this type of media knows anything about robotics and you never know what you're going to find inside. Green printed circuit boards? Meat and viscera, but like in a weird colour? Just a shitload of goo?

I especially like it when the robot appears to have realistic musculature which operates via contraction, suggesting some sort of fluid-driven or shape-memory-based actuation, and then it gets dismembered and a bunch of random gears and sprockets go flying everywhere.

I like to think my engineers foresaw the likelihood of my bisection and designed a clean break point with that in mind, leaving a small compartment filled with confetti

TRIED TO COME UP WITH AN ON-THE-SPOT ANALOGY FOR BEING ASEXUAL AND THE FIRST THING MY BRAIN SHAT OUT WAS "IT'S LIKE A WAFFLE MAKER"

Looking forwards to celebrating the 6th birthday of the post I made to describe a stance I was assured I'd grow out of by 13

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

This is Peak Yuri media and I hope my beautiful feral daughters love each other forever

Our brain might give us false positives, but never false negatives. The chance of a harmless overreaction is the price we pay for survival.

Damn, that's useful

Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn't just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it's not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won't pucker or warp the fabric!

OH HELL THE FUCK YES

@ominous-signs

Official ominous sign

this is a renaissance painting