Sir Choco the Silly's Splendid Scribbles

Scout

chews on stuff as a stim (like his shirt collar, dog tags, fingernails, pencils, etc)

Goes for a run when stressed

Fiddles with dog tags ALL THE TIME but especially when stressed

Craves social interaction but it also makes him super tired

That's one of the reasons he draws, it's his way to shut out the world (though he doesn't know that's why he does it)

Speaking of drawing he's completely self taught and really good at a number of different styles, even though he only really see his cartoonish doodles in expiration date and stuff.

Honestly I agree with the headcanons others have mentioned about him having drawn the training dummies lol

His whole life he did bad in school because he had trouble sitting still and focusing and all the classic ADHD stuff, all the criticism from teachers and whatnot gave him a pretty low self esteem

That's why he's constantly trying to prove to everyone that he's the best, because he's starved for praise and affection that doesn't come from just his mom

Oh also he's a closeted bisexual

Soldier

There are few things he doesn't have a strong opinion about (good or bad)

Surprisingly he has actually read The Art of War. Yes, he can in fact read. Sometimes.

Doesn't remember his childhood, parents, etc it's all just gone. It was probably super traumatic IDK

Never actually was a real soldier but does have war PTSD

Strong sense of justice. This can be both good and bad. If he believes you've been wronged he will be really mad about it and do everything he can to make it right. However his strong sense of justice also leads him to hold more grudges or act violently towards people he believes are in the wrong. He kinda jumps conclusions, you just better hope his conclusions are right this time.

Criticizes others a lot but he's just trying to help them improve. He comes across as very blunt and rude. Anyone who knows him though knows that's not his intention. Usually.

He struggles to express his emotions which is why he loves the heat of battle so much. It helps him get all that pent up energy out

He wakes up at exactly 5 am every day. No exceptions.

Pyro

Somewhat aware of what they're doing when they BURN PEOPLE ALIVE, but it's all still a game to them. The mission objectives only add to that sense. pyrovision probably is some sort of hallucinatory coping mechanism idk

They don't even remember what they look like with the mask off. Or what their name is.

Uses any pronouns. It is impossible to misgender him. She's just immune to that. It takes no offense to whatever you refer to them as, xie just doesn't care.

I have no idea how they eat I have no headcanons for that I just don't know

Music can be very stimmy for them they love to dance

The other mercs can understand them to certain degrees. Engineer understands them the best, Spy understands them the least.

They may have childish interests and mannerisms but they're not innocent. They know what death is. They know what it means to inflict pain, to maim or kill. They just see it differently than we do.

They are super resistant to hot temperatures and in fact don't like the cold

They are actually very good with animals

And business. And math. They earned that CEO position. They also learned a lot of engineering stuff from... Well ... Engineer.

Demoman

If you want to know anything about the supernatural, urban legends, or mythical folklore, you go to him. He knows it ALL.

Especially if it's Scottish folklore, he takes a lot of pride in his heritage

He also knows a LOT about chemistry in general

Professional random fun (or not so fun) facts collector

Struggles a lot with perfectionism due to his family's high standards

When he can't meet his own lofty expectations he goes into a depressive cycle

Since most of those expectations are unrealistic, he's always depressed and that's why he's an alcoholic

He's also an alcoholic because ADHDers are often more susceptible to addiction

Demo is a mess tbh

He masked so hard as a kid that only the battlefield shenanigans can help him unmask and it's very freeing for him

Learning to have healthier expectations for himself from the mercs (especially Engie and Soldier)

Gravitates towards neurodivergent people not knowing he's one of them

Soldier keeps him from totally going over the edge

Keeps a list of reasons to keep existing that he pulls out when it gets really bad. Most of them came from stuff his friends said

Sometimes drinks so much he gets overstimulated

Tbh most of the content warnings ended up being about him and I'm more and more convinced he needs therapy

On a lighter note, he's actually surprisingly nonjudgmental towards others. The high standards are for himself and himself alone. So he's pretty empathetic towards struggles some might call meaningless

Especially as he's been learning to break out of that self hatred cycle he's getting better at giving both himself and everyone else grace

His vest gives him a comfortable sense of compression which he likes very much

He's fluent in Scottish gaelic and wants to learn Latin too

Heavy

Also has a strong sense of justice (and vengeance)

Gets overwhelmed with learning English often but never gives up

I think there was a comic that toyed with this idea but I love the idea of him having to learn some French to read War and Peace in school

He has trained himself very hard to not accidentally crush tiny animals (and people) from cuteness aggression

Birds are very special to him (which is one reason he is madly in love with Medic)

Not a big fan of bright lights

Sways when nervous or twiddles his thumbs

Drools when he sleeps (a lot)

Hypo sensitive to cold. I'm serious he could wear nothing but shorts in the winter and he'd be fine. Partially because he's used to Siberian weather and partially just because of the tism

He actually really enjoys sarcasm/irony/metaphorical thinking, but there are plenty of idioms he thinks are stupid and don't make sense. He likes to rant about that every now and then

Hates small talk with a passion

Usually doesn't have to worry about eye contact because most people are scared to make eye contact with him, and he in fact uses that to scare people.

Sometimes has trouble with auditory processing, which makes people think he's worse at English than he actually is.

He's knowledgeable about everyone else's weapons and to take care of them, not just his own.

Echolalia and scripting are his survival skills

Engineer

Definitely lined up his toys as a kid but nobody got him tested for autism because he was just seen as "gifted". Also his parents didn't think it was weird because they did that as kids too.

He's usually a rule follower, especially as a kid, but he's also unhinged enough to do things like cut off his hand or become a hired killer so who knows what his moral "rules" are like.

He definitely has a moral code though and a strong sense of justice as well

He was always good with kids which is why he's an individual father figure for so many

He's a skeptic when it comes to stuff like magic

Has to "save up" social energy for parties, and wind down afterwards but when he's there he parties hard

Loves roller coasters!!

Sometimes talks or laughs to himself

Cuts tags out of everything

His work belt and pockets are full of stuff he thinks he'll need one day but never does

He's really big about no one else touching his machines, though he sometimes lets Pyro help

Always expects that he'll have to be the "adult" in the group so when a crisis does happen and he can't handle it, he's constantly trying to push through anyway and take care of it

Experiences shutdowns more often than meltdowns, but when he is having a meltdown it tends to be a very angry one with a lot of stomping his feet and cussing

He's actually engi-nearing his f###ing limit

His love language is acts of service. Prefers to give and receive practical gifts but he is appreciative of any heartfelt gift, especially from Pyro

He loves using words that sound good in his mouth

Sometimes people underestimate him because of his accent or stature but he actually really likes that because then he can surprise them later

Kinda full of himself tbh

transmasc :3

Makes dad jokes until everyone else is sick of him

Medic

got the freaky autism

like he's not even just fruity he's the whole orchard

If he's not working on at least 5 experiments at once, something is wrong with him and Heavy will find out what if he has to interrogate him

Yes I'm calling it he has a special interest in baboon anatomy in particular

When I'm cosplaying as medic the gloves are always sweaty and it makes me wiggle my fingers a lot as a stim so I'm just gonna say real medic does that too

Rather then having safe foods he is actually sensory seeking with food (he loves sashimi!)

He likes to twirl around in his lab coat to watch it spin with him

He also spins incessantly in office chairs

They can not get him to sit still in briefing meetings unless he's in one of his moods and then he just sits there all silent and grumpy

He either under reacts or overreacts there is no in between

He rarely sheds tears over serious things or but sometimes he cries about EVERYTHING that others would find insignificant

He can tell every single one of his doves apart and has collected substantial data on all of them. They all have first, middle, and last names, some have titles, and he celebrates all of their birthdays (birdthdays?? 😳)

He actually diagnosed himself with autism and ADHD (after he got his license revoked. Take that how you will) and knows a lot about neurodivergence in general. He is still waiting for an excuse to diagnose everyone else too except he keeps forgetting to because he gets distracted. But the point is HE KNOWS

has the California gurls dance memorized, it totally exists in the tf2 universe it's canon , not just a meme at all, and Medic is actually a California gurl, Gaben told me, it was revealed to me in a dream, no arguments please

Sniper

Knew he was different all his life but didn't know why

He's still kinda convinced it's just the fact that he's a New Zealander but doesn't realize it's also AUTUSM

Got bullied as a kid

His adoptive parents were another one of those cases where they just thought his weirdnesses were kinda normal. There's probably a plot twist somewhere. I've got a lot of questions about them

Wears earplugs when using his rifle. Gun safety is important! Also loud noises ew

When he's really overstimulated his stims get harmful (biting, picking at his skin, scratching, pinching, slapping himself, etc)

He has also cut himself when going through particularly hard times.

Thankfully these instances aren't super common anymore

Getting his camper actually helped a lot with that because he felt like he finally had a safe space.

But if someone were to trash his camper or if something happened to it he would probably lose it :(

He prefers to be alone most of the time but he's also lonely a lot

Self isolates when things get rough too so if he's avoiding everyone extra for extended periods of time he probably definitely needs help

He doesn't accept help easily though so you're going to have to bully him into it

Bad at personal hygiene

He has actually made a few necklaces out of people's teeth but doesn't do this that often. It's not very efficient.

He does actually have mental lists of how he would go about killing everyone he's met of it came down to it. He was being completely serious

One of his uncles did actually beat his wife which is probably where he got the golf trophy thing from. Since that, he's worked hard to keep his temper

He really likes lizards!!!

And bugs!!!

And all kinds of wildlife basically!!

He's a real survivalist, if anyone will know which plants are poisonous or how to start a fire with nothing but sticks, he's your guy.

This one is pretty self indulgent but, while he doesn't play video games often, his favorite is Ty the Tasmanian Tiger because it's literally all about Australian wildlife and it's also a collectathon and I feel like he would vibe with that

Spelling of collecting he collects a LOT. Mostly rocks, feathers, just cool stuff he finds out and about

He also is a collector of not so fun facts

He really likes aboriginal culture, probably ends up getting a cool rainbow snake tattoo at some point

Spy

If he was ever told he was autistic he would repeatedly deny it, giving lots of fairly sound reasons. Only to go to his smoking room and consider it for real and, after a lot of research, know everything there is to know about autism

He'd never admit to being autistic though.

He likes subtlety smelling things as a stim

Special interest in romance is what allows him to get the ladies. He usually does this mostly for some ulterior purpose though, such as information.

In reality, he yearns for true love (probably in the form of reconnecting with Scout's ma. As much as engispy is one of my favorite pairings ever, I don't consider it canon. That's what mini aus are for)

Anyways in a way he's a bit of a hopeless romantic because of that

Scout probably got some of his love for art from Spy because he's a real painting connoisseur. He might dabble in painting, himself.

He would never let you find that out either though

It's actually his meticulousness and regular to let anyone find anything about him that makes me think he's autistic actually

Hides in his smoking room whenever distressed, it's essential for his emotional regulation

Uses cigarettes to calm down too. Probably has to get his lungs replaced by Medic every few months

He's the opposite of Demo in that he also is a perfectionist but he does apply his insanely high standards to everyone else and not just himself

He's a stickler for good brands of wine, cigarettes, etc. He knows all the good ones and hates cheap alcohol as a result.

All his safe foods are expensive?!?!

Also cuts out tags

And his suits have to be very particular or else it's bad texture

Bad texture is also why he wears gloves constantly

Sniper's bright lights issues are Spy's texture issues

Spy also has sanitization OCD

Which is why he HATES jarate

Apparently there's that one pic of him pissing on the side of the road though so apparently anyone can get desperate (or petty) enough

He can only stand to wear certain types of cologne or perfume

If respawn machine is canon he always makes sure to killbind before the end of the day so his suit resets to being nice again

Always wears just a little eyeliner

Okay wow that got REALLY LONG sorry

And dark?? I think I lost the plot a bit