Love Letters To Myself

It sounds satiating and delicious

It’s not until you’re lapping it up

Command change from the day

Trade unease for fortitude

And try to shake it all away

Faced with disdain

And there’s no hand to hold

What else to do

But be present & be bold

Timidity has no place here

And your on your own

They will eat you alive

At the smell of nerves alone

Insecurity seditiously invites

Savages sniffing out blood

It’s constant jabs, nips, and bites

Overtaking everything in the flood

My anxiety’s on fire

Yet they are fanning the flames

Burning embers of glares

Hissing baseless claims

The tears escape despite

All attempts to restrain it

They’ve won & my composure

I couldn’t even sustain it

Sleep away covered

In melancholic sorrow

Rouse & wake to brood

That I’m kinder and through the tangles of my hearts threaded barriers, I hold no space for you and will no become a bitter hateful carrier

Submissiveness all in vain

This foolishness for you I wear it

Don’t let me do so without merit

And beg you from her knees

Make you think she means it this time

She’ll tear a hole in you, one you can’t repair

But I still love her I don’t really care