my summer plans to Do All The Things have been waylaid by a minor wrist injury (if you're looking for a sign to get yourself an ergonomic keyboard/mouse, this is your sign 😅). I'm once again trying to learn how to balance resting with working towards my goals. I feel like I'm moving unimaginably slowly, but I need to try and remember that all progress is good progress, and that there's no need to rush.
after several weeks of essentially nothing, I'm back to working on a Rust implementation of some sample code from Malware Data Science. it feels like I haven't had to sit down and understand an algorithm in forever and it scares me how easy it is to lose those mental muscles. it feels good to spend time figuring this stuff out again.
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studied four hours today. flunked an exam earlier this week, so I'll be retaking it in September🙃. there's another exam tomorrow that I don't feel ready for. my body is just worn out from constant studying with no real break. every part of me feels heavy.
📚 midnight study:
trying for two more hours around midnight. that's genuinely all I can make myself do at this point. my brain feels slow,my focus is patchy, but Im hopping something is better than nothing.
🎧 listening: Tabber- Like A Vampire (hearing it on repeat so it's basically just background static at this point, but silence feels worse.)
🍵 drink:cold barley tea with a slice of lemon. warm drinks require too much effort right now. this is easy, and I don't have to think about it.
already thinking about jobs and internships. medical internships are scarce and extremely competitive. research opportunities feel just as out of reach tbh you need connections, a name, a CV that stands out, and I don't have any of that yet. the thought of cold-emailing professors or putting together applications is literally making my stomach drop. it's intimidating, but I know I'll have to start somewhere. not tonight though. tonight is just about getting through to tomorrow.
if you're retaking an exam, exhausted down to the bone, or anxious about the future just know you're not alone in it.
see this implies that the graveyard shift is gonna make some horrorshow ass saw circumstances and establish them as the only safe place to turn to and idk if i fuck with that
text: You can go home early or trauma bond with the graveyard shift
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I can’t say this enough, even as a full grown adult, a fully degreed librarian, who has read many things, many types of books.
A Series of Unfortunate Events is masterful.
It pulls from all worlds of knowledge, all variations of literature, religions, philosophies, cultures, even cuisine. It’s not just a fictional story of a secret organization and some orphans, it’s a metaphor for censorship, for the corruption of the justice system, the neglect of the foster system, the questionable nature of public education, but the equally complex nature of sheltering yourself from harsh truths, even if those truths could also help you.
The morality of the neutrality of librarians (a phrase which here means, “whether or not a librarian should give a patron whatever they ask for, even if what they want is misinformation”). The endless search for answers in a confusing world. The rather bleak understanding that every generation basically acts the same way as the previous ones, unaware of the neverending cycle. If there are really such things as “good” and “bad” people. And the eventuality and unavoidability of death.
And Snicket, as the reader’s guide, never tells you what to think, only what certain terms mean, and leaves the reader to come to their own conclusions. He trusts our own intelligence.
I cannot properly convey how much I appreciate Daniel Handler for putting this series into the world.
Second year in med school (or what the hardest year so far thaught me 💭 )
Second year in where I study is known as a place nobody really wants to return to…and now I get it. We studied mainly 3 subjects which were Anatomy, Physiology and Biochemistry…the “holy trinity”. Don’t let winter exams fool you- they feel like sunshine and rainbows, but nothing compares to the storm that the summer exams bring! ⛈️🌪️
Subject rate
Anatomy 2/10 ⭐️⭐️
“I wanna give you the zero, but that’s not possible, so I give you a two!”
I knew I’ll have trouble with this subject the first day I opened my textbooks. These 2 years felt like hell studying it especially CNS…Muscles spiked my interest in Traumatology and Sports medicine tho, and that is the only reason I give it 2 stars!
Physiology 6/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“The good doctor is first a good physiologist”
- Daniel Danielopolu
I loved Physiology from day 1! Reading it was like a break from all of the torture that anatomy gave me… not only that but the professor who’s lectures I attended was the sweetest guy ever and his passion for this subject came to me as well! The reason I give it less stars is because of the exam and how poorly the grading system is made.
Biochemistry 5/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Yep. Even I’m surprised as how high of a grade that is! I had a love/hate relationship with this subject. I was both fascinated as how the cells work on this molecular level and frustrated at how hard it is to grasp the content sometimes! The exam was horrible and more than half my grade failed…
Lessons (outside of medicine) that I learned
1. It’s not hard, it’s just new.
I said that in one of my first posts this school year but I will say it again and again! Just because you don’t get a concept the first time doesn’t mean it won’t ever stick!
2. Effort doesn’t equal results.
Sad but true and pretty self explanatory.
3. Professors are just humans who are not very kind sometimes and you just have to accept it.
I happened to meet some awfully rude professors and doctors this year. Just showed me how I do not want to act towards anyone ever.
4. Everyone has their own journey at their own pace…
…which doesn’t disqualify them from being capable and knowledgeable.
5. Never EVER compare yourself to others
People in med school are competitive which is nice and motivating until it isn’t. Try to say out of this toxic place and don’t compare your situation to someone else’s.
In conclusion
Second year showed me that I am in fact capable of doing hard things. All glory to God despite of my effort! 🩷
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*my cat lying in my bookshelf all cute, some boiled chicken veggie potstickers I made w a cup of green tea, and my cat lying in my bf's spot on the bed waiting for him to come home
July 14th, 2026
I am so excited for the Fall 2026 semester to start! It'll be the last fall semester of my undergraduate degree, and it's gonna be jam-packed, but I'm ready for it! I wanted to share the classes I'll be taking with you guys, just to give you an idea of what the beginning of my final year as an undergraduate student will be.
FALL 2026 SEMESTER:
Mondays
- Community Nutrition 1:15pm to 4:00pm
Tuesdays
- Medical Nutrition Therapy I 10:30am to 11:45am
- Nutrition Counseling 12:00pm to 1:15pm
- Food Service Organization & Management 1:30pm to 2:45pm
- Abnormal Psychology 4:00pm to 5:15pm
Wednesdays
- Entering the Field of Dietetics 10:30am to 11:45am
- Medical Nutrition Therapy 1 Lab 12:30pm to 3:00pm
Thursdays
- Medical Nutrition Therapy I 10:30am to 11:45am
- Nutrition Counseling 12:00pm to 1:15pm
- Food Service Organization & Management 1:30pm to 2:45pm
- Abnormal Psychology 4:00pm to 5:15pm
No class on Fridays!
Tuesdays and Thursdays are definitely gonna be my busiest days for sure, but I'm excited to have a full schedule. It means fewer hours at work, sadly, but I'm aiming to get work-study, and hopefully that will help my income just a little bit. Looking forward to graduating in the Spring of 2027 with my Bachelor of Science in Human Nutrition and Dietetics Sciences! (with a minor in Psychology and a minor in Exercise Science)
had been in a slump for around eleven days. fortunately, am managing to recover faster than before. (◡ ― ◡ .)
finally finished my notes about shark species, and am moving on to whales. so far, this has been incredibly interesting. learning can become an interest on its own, without the pressure that comes with school.
ah, and have found an internship for this year. rather short, but it's experience and im relieved to finally have somewhere to actually work, rather than remain in my room. hoping to practice my vocabulary and social skills to fit in a minimum.
if you want to be a supportive part of community with disabled people, remember:
1. people whose disability is not a "chronic pain condition" often still experience chronic pain
2. people can experience chronic pain - even horrible and/or unmanaged chronic pain - and not have that be the most disabling part of their condition
pain plays a lot more of a role in the disabled community than being the "only" or "most prominent" symptom, and a lot of people have their pain disbelieved because they're otherwise disabled or have their pain treated as more impactful than the rest of their disability because pain is scary and other symptoms are hard for others to relate to.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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