Dark Academia

One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.

I know right! A bit of change in routine and it fucks my mind and day.

I find peace in cooking, going for a run in a park while listening to music, going on walks in a park or anywhere where I'm surrounded by nature, listening to the sea as the waves crash into the sand of the beach, sitting at home and reading books on a rainy night, watching a Ghibli movie. I guess my alone time brings me ease.

sometimes u listen to some pop song from 2010 and realize oh my younger self is still in here

phone is my best friend she would never betray me. what do you mean my brain is being fried by the constant dopamine hits. she just wants me to be happy

i try to be good and do good. and be nice to people and make people happy but im also such a fucking hater everything pisses me off

I want to scream and cry and die, all at the same time. It feels like my heart is being squeezed and it hurts so fucking much but it’s also so empty at the same time. I just want everything to fucking stop.

In May, I see changing seasons, I see the sun and rain together in harmony, I see flowers blooming and leaves dying, I hear the thunderstorms and the quiet waves. In May I see confusion and betrayal. In May I see the changing seasons.

In a book I’d be the hot morally grey character but out here I’m just a mentally unstable asshole