Simple Dreamers.

I let the demons make a home,

little nests in my heart,

darkness through my veins

their taunts are endless,

if screams could break glass,

the shards would be enough.

I'm broken, I'm broken.

impossible, dreaming of unrealistic perfection.

Holding ourselves to standards that don’t exist.

I look at you and think, 

“you could do so much better.”

Dreaming up a flawless thing that overshadows me,

no matter how impressive I can make myself

I will never stop thinking you deserve better.

so tell me i’m enough, don’t stop saying it -

I need to know, I need to believe. 

I’m ready to tear down these walls.

Show you this chaos I hide in.

There are times I want you just enough,

Maintain a barrier, give you all the good.

Only the desirable parts of me on display.

And there are times I am so broken,

Reminded you could never fix me.

My insecurities get the best of me,

all my strength goes to keeping me here.

Don’t let me run away.

Can I have you for now or can I keep you?

You’re giving me your reality,

Cycling warm bodies faster than the leaves change

Wandering soft lips, warm hands

All these blurred faces and I’m wondering

Some ending I’m too scared to face

All these nobodies won’t be enough one day.

Shrank myself into this a bubble of ignorance,

One sharp prick, take this bliss away.

That I didn’t start this journey on a thread,

frayed edges, wearing thin, it’ll snap.

I’m on the descent, just waiting for impact.

I can think of you and not want to be right there with you.

Sometimes, I’m not okay.

Old memories still make me smile and my heart still aches.

You’re still the first person I want to tell everything to.

I’m at the crossroads and you’re the demon.

Can’t see you, still miss you, don’t need you.

Let’s make a deal, you won’t let go of my soul.

Don’t stop chasing me, not til you’re out of air.

Then you’ll know how it feels to suffocate

Choosing to rely only on myself,

never known to make smart decisions.

I’m going through this disaster alone.

Fighting the demons in my mind

with an army of one. 

A whole party waiting to be called,

but i’m selfish with my pain.

In a battle with myself, 

My car broke down two weeks ago,

I’ve been stranded for two weeks.

School hasn’t been going well, 

I’m drowning in these lessons.

I barely have enough money.

I feel like no one’s listening.

“are you okay?”

“yeah. I’m fine. everything’s fine.” 

In the midst of such a casual conversation,

Three words constantly sit on the tip of my tongue,

Trying to push its way out, unguarded in the world.

But here I am, keeping my lips clamped shut. 

Pretending I can control the depth of this rabbit hole,

Unsaid words so this grave doesn’t dig deeper.

These feelings melt my brain, my heart’s taken over. 

My heart led me to you, it’s chaining me to yours. 

I’m in a prison I don’t want to leave.