Just a simple cat girl

>"reddit snark communities are extremely misogynistic"

>"aren't those communities mainly made up of women though?"

the idea of any project soliciting people’s experiences of sexual violence that deliberately excludes accounts in which someone experienced that violence from men is just statistically going to be ruling out the majority of survivors.

even if that blog actually limited it to only transmasc stories (which it doesn't), imposing a rule about how participants can only share their experience if they were assaulted by a woman (classic MRA thing btw, excluding male survivors of sexual violence and partner abuse whose assailants were men) is just so transparently not giving a fuck about survivors at all.

literally every TME trans person I’ve ever met has experienced sexual harassment, violence, or abuse from a man at some point in their lives. so claiming you care about transmasc experiences with sexual violence and abuse while erasing the most common experience of it is just audacious.

first, obviously I think it is essential that men learn to handle their emotions, because they are people, and it's everyone's responsibility to learn how to self regulate to the best of their ability. and I understand in some contexts it has utility to have emotional regulation resources presented as "for" men specifically, because on a hegemonic level men are expected to outsource managing their emotions to women and children instead of engaging in this work themselves, so general resources about self regulation are likely to be looked over by most men as not relevant or necessary for them.

but. like that is kind of the problem at the same time.

like the whole issue is men thinking they don't need to learn how to handle emotions (identifying them, processing them, expressing them, channeling them usefully, grounding themselves, addressing underlying issues, etc).

and then these kind of half-way measures that position tips as "mental health FOR MEN" "emotional regulation FOR MEN" inevitably ends up cross-pollinating with MRA style analysis where we get things like

"the MALE loneliness epidemic" (as if women do not also experience loneliness and alienation under current conditions), or

"men aren't allowed to cry" (as if women and children aren't berated and patronized for crying all the time & expected to "smile" for men), or

"men have the highest suicide rates" (implying that men are uniquely prone to being actively suicidal, glossing over that women attempt suicide more often)

which all ends up reinforcing this idea that men's emotions are bigger and more serious and urgent than anyone else's, and men need help to manage them, so "society" (women and children) must help them.

When transphobes say “Trans women don’t exist” they are not saying they believe transfems to be imaginary, they are drawing lines in the sand to politically deny us the rights afforded to women. Similarly, when they say “couldn’t you just be a femboy?” they are not saying “I respect gender non-conformity in this form more” they are saying “It would be better for me if you did not have access to the social technology of trans womanhood as recognised by the state”

There are lots of places in the world where you literally still HAVE TO assert yourself as a binary trans woman with XYZ specific experiences with dysphoria or they categorically will not allow you to access HRT or life saving surgeries. As a non-binary transfem, this is what I had to do, and I know many others who did the same.

No matter how injured. If a parent doesn't deem it necessary to see a doctor, it doesn't happen. Teachers can suggest a doctor visit, but unless it's a very acute injury (and even then), it's ultimately up to the parents.

You can be 13. Twisted, maybe broken ankle. You teacher lets you sit out in PE. She's concerned, and tells you to rest when you go home, and see a doctor. You get home, ur parents fill a bath and add some Epsom salts, and then laugh at you for using it moms old colorguard stick as a cane. Take some ibuprofen they say. It's just a little sprain, ur a kid.

You go to school the next day, go to ur office assistant time. Office calls ur mom to come get you, because you're clearly in too much pain for school. Your mom laughs when she gets you, says you just were so determined not to miss school. Scolds you for making the office ladies worry.

You never see a doctor for the injury.

Your parents come into the exam room at every visit. This does not stop with age, except for gynecologist. But your parents are on the medical release forms. They fill them out for you, with you. You do not get to take them off.

You never get to tell s doctor about the ankle. Even though it never quote healed right, and it hurts every day.

Then your 18. In college. Still on your parents insurance, and have no car. The on campus clinic only does std testing. You fall down some stairs. Same injury. You call your parents, crying from the pain. You are using a mop as a cane. They console you and say to have a bath, take some meds, and let them know how it feels in a few days. You end up borrowing your roommates rolling chair to get around for the weekend.

By Monday, you can walk again. You walk miles to class every day. You ask to see a doctor, but your parents won't drive the hour to come take you, and you don't have the insurance card. You are still at their mercy for medical care. The ankle tries to heal again. This time worse than before. The tendons click with every step.

Now you're in your twenties. Finally have your own healthcare. You see a doctor. You get to mention the ankle! They say it's been too long to really even know what was damaged. That you have arthritis now. It healed wrong but it can no longer be fixed.

For example, there were was a post of someone making a pretty well educated discussion on how one of the antagonist can be read in very transfem context due to he's romantic and kinda gendered obsession with the female lead in From Knight to Lady, and that got very few likes with one of the most liked comments being how op was stretching a bit to read said character as any other as cis.