whet my appetite and i’ll hand over the leash

i’ve only read tumblr posts and undertale fanfiction. can i write the spicy young adult novel to change the world.

*sighs dejectedly* okayyy you got me, I care *smashes head into nearest wall with such force my skull is crushed like a beer can*

woke deadbeat father: i'm just going to get some oat milk

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

You may notice that stoning someone is considered violent, but getting stoned is generally a good time. Similarly, getting your shit rocked is usually bad, but rocking someone’s world is almost always positive. This is because we rocks are very nuanced and complex

i don't support all women's rights & wrongs some of you are terfs

we have to hold the line on misandry not being real. it's getting scary out there

everybody who skipped dragon age origins is missing out b/c at some point you help a tree who speaks only in rhymes steal an acorn from a homeless man in your quest to locate and kill a naked woman and some werewolves for an 800 year old elf

i dont think its a "sin" to "destroy and betray yourself for nothing" because there's no such thing as sin, there's no such thing as yourself and there's no such thing as nothing. and destruction and betrayal are subjective. you're most likely totally fine.