Finding Hope

The only reason she got it was because she won it. And then gave it to me because she knew I liked space. Not knowing my current obsession is Project Hail Mary. But look at this!!!

But I return to my lab this week? Oh stars! I was ambushed by my team, my phlebotomists and nurses! All of them so glad I was back.

It’s the best kind of odd. I’ve never had a job where I was genuinely appreciated and had kind coworkers.

I’m not a manager. Actually I’m pretty low on the hierarchy. I’m just a lab assistant and processor. But I’m able to cross different territories and help in multiple areas. And I like helping! At Big Lab no one wants to offer assistance. Only doing just what they need to and that’s it.

But my sister is living with it. Her and her kids. And they all are living with my mother. So my sister’s narcissist is hurting not just her but my nephews and my mother.

I’ve never hated a human so much in my life. But there’s also a resentment to my sister for allowing this.

I love my sister. I do. I just don’t understand the acceptance of this abuse. She even says she knows he’s a narcissist. So why?

Why drag our mother into this shite? She deserves so much better.

I got out. I’m barely able to afford it but I moved out. Living alone and taking control of my life. But I keep looking back. Looking at the pain and misery in that house. It hurts. I hate that even being gone that fecking narcissist hurts me because he hurts my loved ones.