FREAKAZOID

“phan isn’t real.” I say into the mic, the crowd boos and throws clique merch at me. I stand my ground, I’m not a fucking pussy. The crowd of 12 year olds start screaming “the whiskers come from within!” and “ladders!”. I am very close to ending it all when two posh voices command silence over the crowd. “She’s right, stop fetishizing gay relationships.” Dan and Phil themselves stand in the back.

date of origin: december 26th, 2017

“phan is real.” I say into the mic, the crowd boos and throws clique merch at me. I stand my ground, I’m not a fucking pussy. The crowd of 12 year olds start screaming “you’re fetishizing gay relationships!” I am very close to ending it all when one posh voice and one northern voice command silence over the crowd. “He’s right, please write more yaoi.” Dan and Phil themselves stand in the back. Then they come onstage and kiss, holding the gay flag.

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.