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imagine being a girl in the army and there’s only one other girl with you. even if annie was pretty avoidant with everyone i feel like with pieck it was a little different.

if you look at this panel pieck has her hand on annie’s shoulder. we never see annie having much physical touch with the others, yet it seems like pieck is allowed to. everyone is behind her and they’re not trying to follow but her friend is right with her.

also none of them had female parental figures while growing up. experiencing girlhood alone must have been difficult, but with each other it was probably a little better. i imagine them discovering new hairstyles together and trying to make them army-approved.

they both fought for the same reason: their father. this somehow probably brought them closer.

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Hehe cornball oming through ◡̈

the ending of backrooms feels so fucking bleak. to have Mary be this character who exists mostly in the background for the first half, who is there to solve the main character’s problems, who isn’t allowed to leave her house, who has her mother taken from her, who watches her home be torn down to make space for a building that will house her own demise… she’s like a husk that’s only allowed to truly make her own decisions in the last twenty minutes (give or take) of the movie. and that decision has to be whether or not to give this stupid evil company (that probably could’ve helped in some way, considering the cameras. they watched just to see what would happen, to see how much more they could learn from something awful that they likely helped accelerate) what they want from her just like everyone else in her life.

they took her home and then they took her life. and all that’s left is this broken memory of what she might’ve been. meaty drywall covered in a thick epidermis.

Clark is also an incredibly interesting character to me. to be so self-aware of your own inability to take responsibility for your own actions and change and look your own therapist in the eye and beg her to tell you you’re not evil. that is a type of person I’ve met. most would call this morally grey, most label him as such. but I feel it’s perhaps a very, very dark shade of grey.

it takes a truly awful sort of person to look at the monster you know you will become in the future should you choose to stay stuck in one moment forever. one moment with someone you claim to have loved, who you will blame for the awful situation you have put yourself in. to let that monster consume you, to fully give in to it knowing that it will hurt others. the Pirate killed Kat after all, and Clark kept her head in his fridge like it was nothing. he got scared hearing the Pirate coming, knowing it would do the same thing to Mary as it did to Kat (and maybe Bobby too, I didn’t see what grabbed him).

and what a beautiful character that makes. a man stuck in a loop of traveling through the obsessions he has with his own mind, with being stuck in stagnation and distorted memory. consumed by the same thing that consumed the people he brought down here with him. himself.

I loved this movie. every second of it. even the scenes that were “too long” (who gives a fucking shit how long the scene is <3). a bleak narrative that leaves you with more questions coming out of it than you did going in. I think it would be nice if the story had an eensy bit of hope thrown in there, but it’s just. not that kind of story. corporations suck. people suck. and sometimes, some people are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. they’re just unlucky. things happen. they know the wrong person. curiosity gets the best of them. whatever it is, it doesn’t always turn out for the best. it sucks. it made me uncomfortable. like something was missing, but my overall experience was complete.

when the Pirate comes after Mary, he… he chokes her right? tries to? and Kat’s head was fully just. separated from her body. he could’ve just. I mean theoretically. could’ve succeeded there where he failed with Mary.

and I mean. when Clark hears the Pirate coming, he chokes Mary until she passes out “for her own good.” like yeah technically he’s saving her life or whatever by keeping her quiet. but that “saving her” becomes null and void when he ties her up and screams at her, uses her to make himself feel better.

and um. I’m not exactly sure how Clark’s wife would’ve gotten HIS house in the divorce. she wasn’t paying for it, she was going to law school full time and he was paying the bills. but. he’s a violent alcoholic within what we’re shown.

I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this.

I’m sure Clark regrets what happened with his wife to a degree. he didn’t try to get close to anyone else after the divorce. he clearly misses having his home. he’s going to therapy!

I thought it was actually really cute I don't know if it's official or just a fan art but I think it's sweet that Levi's squad eren in this case would secretly try and take care of him.

What if Zeke never ratted his parents out?

I think Grisha would continue to push his beliefs onto Zeke, almost at the point of hitting him but not (so here he’s almost backhanding Zeke). Poor Zeke :(

I was trying to redraw Magath’s sticker but it ended up morphing into this instead, lol…

Speedpaint:

Why did I get this. And why am I not surprised.

Pastor grisha new thing to be obsessed with ahdjdjkd

sasha and connie gaping at bert as he transforms in S2: oh no

i've wanted to make that thing for months now. my beloved creation.

Grisha arrived in Shiganshina from Marley in 832, started working as a doctor and then saved the city from an epidemic that broke out there, an event mentioned twice in the story. He saved a load of people including Carla, her parents, and Hannes' wife.

We can roughly estimate the year when that occured, keeping in mind Grisha lived in Shiganshina for 13 years, since 832. Eren was born in 835, three years after his arrival, so we can assume Grisha and Carla married in 834. With those in mind, the epidemic must have broken out in 832-833 and stopped by 834.

Here's the idea: considering the illness was limited to Shiganshina only (thus the term "epidemic" instead of "pandemic") and it broke out so soon after Grisha settled in the Walls, we can safely assume he was the cause of it. Grisha carried germs that he himself was immune to due to Marley's advanced medicine compared to Paradis. However the population of a secluded area sealed off from the outside world couldn't have possibly come in contact with them any other way and couldn't have developed immunity to them. Therefore it makes sense why the reaction to it was so serious.

So Grisha was only picking up after a problem he caused. And he couldn't even tell anyone about people outside the walls so he kept to himself that it was his fault (if he even had any suspicions about it, that is).

One thing is certain; young Grisha, who still resided in Marley, definitely didn’t care much for Zeke. He even says so himself.

But this is older Grisha speaking about his past self. He’s criticizing his actions, and speaks with regret. He’s very well aware of his fuck-up. And, looking back at some of his interactions with Eren, it seems pretty clear he learned his parenting lesson, at least in basic caring-for-your-child. 

Grisha seemed concerned about Eren’s social activities. Since he only got along with Armin, and typically got in fights with the other local kids, Grisha seemed to hope spending some time with the girl living in a very peaceful environment could help his son.

Here we first see a relieved Grisha, upon learning Eren is in one piece. Then he gets quite mad at him for risking his life the way he did, for putting himself in danger. I think this scene has some more weight now, since Grisha blamed himself for wanting to put Zeke into danger. Now his 2nd son, whom he told to stay safe and away from  the trouble, gets himself into danger. 

Grisha is crying before injecting Eren. Sure, a lot of factors come into play here, like the death of Carla, or the knowledge that he’s about to kick the bucket. But still; Grisha is very well aware of the pain that lies ahead of Eren; and he is once again forcing his child on his own mission. Considering how regretful Grisha sounds in his book, he can’t be happy about doing this for the 2nd time.

So yes, I do think he cares about Eren, and, if he still had the chance, he would care for Zeke. I’m sure that, during his time in the walled world, he didn’t forget about him. But I’ll get to that later again.

Now onto Dina v Carla–Dawn of Jaegerwife.

Grisha met Carla after arriving in the walled world. Whilst we don’t know yet what plan he came up with together with the owl, it doesn’t seem to be something extremely urgent. He can pretty much live freely, and is in control of his actions. He meets Carla, a person without high social status or relevant bloodline (probably). They marry, and have a child. There is nothing political about this marriage. No external reason for Grisha to do that, no ulterior motives (as far as we know). So, I’d say this was truly based on love. Nothing else behind it. 

Eren,Carla,Mikasa…please be safe!-EP2

I know this scene doesn’t appear in the manga, but I’m fairly certain it had Isayama supervision. It’s Grisha in the night he learns of the fall of wall maria and tries to eradicate the Reiss line. Tears stream down his face at the thought of his family being dead. It’s something he definitely has to consider, especially since they live in Shiganshina. 

And here he learns about Carla’s death. Two reactions panels, and then he beings taking Eren to the forest to avenge her. There isn’t much of an immediate reaction, but I’d like to think that, similar to Mikasa in ch 7, he’s suppressing his emotions through actions. And as we saw, they take over once he’s inside the forest. 

His relationship with Dina is…different. To him, she had royal blood leading to Eldia’s salvation; to her, he was the leader of the group that was going to free their people. In their context, they were both important people for their group, and it makes for these two to conceive the soldier that would lead them to victory. Grice even describes their marriage as “entrusting Dina” to Grisha, emphasizing the political aspect of their bind. 

However, I’d say his immediate reaction to her demise is pretty legit. Their marriage lasted over 7 years and only ended because of their titanization. We also never get a single indicator that their marriage was unhappy, Isa doesn’t show us any of that. Dina’s words “I’ll find you” also lead me to believe that there definitely was an emotional connection between them as people. Maybe their marriage started off political, but over the course of time an emotional bond was definitely formed. 

We don’t know how much time has passed between Dina’s transformation during 87, and Grisha’s transformation into a mindless titan (probably next chapter though). We also don’t know for how long Grisha wandered around Paradis before meeting Keith. Zeke’s age could be an indicator, but since that is currently unknown, we really can’t tell. One thing is certain though: Grisha arrived in the walled world in 830, twenty years before the current story. Since Eren is 15 in 850, he was presumably born in 835, 5 years after Grisha arrived. In those 5 years he met and married Carla, and she got pregnant. It seemed as if they married shortly after the plague that attacked Shiganshina, but I can’t recall that a specific date was ever given to that incident. Someone may correct me on that though. But ultimately, we can’t say for sure how much time has passed. The timeline from the Grisha files isn’t complete yet, so hopefully next chapter will clear some things up. 

Did Grisha still love Dina after Carla? I don’t know. Unfortunately we don’t really have any insight into Grisha’s mind from that time. There is one detail I’d like to consider though. The photo of Grisha, Zeke and Dina is at the very beginning of his book. Practically on the opening page. Of course it serves the purpose of dramatic effect during the reveal back in ch 85; but I’d like to think that, whenever Grisha came down to work on his books or his plan or any other activity concerning the Eldia/Marley conflict, he looked at that picture. As a reminder of his mission in the walls, as a reminder for what is at stake, but also as a reminder of the family his own actions had cost him. He could’ve stored that pic somewhere deep inside the book, but he places it there, at the very beginning. I’m sure that’s the reason why. Somewhere deep down, he still cared for the people he lost.

But we finally know exactly why Eren had such a horrified expression after unlocking some of Grisha’s memories during that ceremony.

I always thought it was an angry reaction to Frieda/King Fritz choosing to doom his own people. But it was actually horror.

Because not only did he realize, yet again, that men are their own enemies, they will kill each other and sometimes, in their world, it is the only way to change things ー and for Eren, sacrifices of this kind have always been hard to accept. He also actually experienced the sensation of crushing children with his own hands.

And I wonder if this is the only memory he unlocked at the time. I wonder if, later on, he hasn’t seen and felt, through Kruger’s memories, how it is to torture someone, to skin people alive. To be tortured, through Grisha’s memories.