feverish

Favorite Fandoms + Favorite Characters

- Bungo Stray Dogs (Akutagawa, Higuchi, Atsushi) - Always up to date with the manga, read Stormbringer, Beast (LN + Manga) and Osamu Dazai's Entrance Exam, started Gaiden

- Gachiakuta (Zanka, Enjin, Rudo, Riyo) - Always up to date with the manga

- Hazbin Hotel (Alastor) - Always up to date with the show, seen the pilot

- Demon Slayer (Genya, Kyojuro, Shinobu) - Finished the manga

- Dandadan (Okarun, Momo) - Always up to date with the manga

- Fullmetal Alchemist [Brotherhood or 03] (Edward, Hawkeye) - Completed, have not seen the 2003 movie

- Helluva Boss (Fizzarolli, Blitz)

- Moriarty the Patriot (William, Louis)

I'm not interested in posting about other fandoms but absolutely open to talking about characters from mentioned series that aren't listed here, of course :)

I try to answer my asks in the order I receive them but is I get one about characters I love or something I'm inspired to talk about I'll answer those sooner!

Before you follow:

- I try to tag all of my posts appropriately so people can search my blog, but also so people with muted tags can avoid certain posts. If you would like me to tag something that I'm not tagging, please let me know. If I am tagging something you think shouldn't be tagged (for example, I no longer tag fics with chro_nic pain to avoid flooding the tag on Tumblr with fictional posts, as per a request), please let me know.

- On this note, since it is a sensitive topic, I do post about eating disorders from time to time - never IRL, always as character headcanons, and never in any form of glorification!

- Please be aware that I post emetophilia content on this blog occasionally! It's often not explicit/not sfw (but always tagged when explicit) but if you're severely emetophobic and not interested in working through your phobia (this isn't a dis, I'm emetophobic irl for example lol) this blog probably isn't for you - but thank you for stopping by!!

Content you won't find on my blog / Content I don't want in my ask box

- Anything involving me. Example. Again I'm emetophobic irl and I prefer to consume content like this on my own terms :)

- NSFW. I don't mind NSFW at all but I'm not comfortable with having that content in my ask box!

- On that note, I will not post emetophilia content about characters under 18!

- I'm generally not interested in talking about X Reader/self insert content :) (Sorry!)

- Also generally not super interested in talking about fandom things that aren't sickfic/whump/angst/etc. related on this blog, since that's not what people are here for :)

- I won't post snz kink, weight gain kink, or scat stuff on my blog :) I don't mind seeing most of it, you just won't find it here.

- And these two are a little random but I don't care for hanahaki disease or content with excessive torture at the moment

“Please, let us bring you something to drink,” the woman’s partner offers. Her bright, warm smile is a little unsettling, but Rudo very much realizes that he doesn’t have any room to talk. He hopes Zanka declines, because he’s pretty sure they have to head back to meet Enjin and Riyo, and this woman is giving him the creeps.

“I appreciate it, but we need to head out,” Zanka says. “We have somewhere to be.”

Even though it’s the answer Rudo was hoping for, and the answer he expected from Zanka, Rudo is suspicious.

Zanka’s being weird, the more he stares at him, the more he thinks about it. His posture is all rigid, and he’s not usually like that, and it’s slightly different from the good posture he usually observes from him. He kind of acts like there’s a stick up his ass most of the time, but he’s casual and nonchalant enough that it’s not out of a place of being snotty, Rudo thinks. Is he nervous? Uncomfortable? Rudo thinks for a second that maybe he was injured on the job, but he doesn’t think those Beasts even got near Zanka. He pretty much had all four of them pulverized before they were in his Instrument's radius of him.

“Not even a quick drink?” The first woman says.

“Next time,” Zanka insists. A little too quickly.

And now that he recalls the conversation as a whole, it sounds like Zanka has dropped his accent almost entirely. Rudo has noticed he’ll do that when he’s trying to sound more professional, but he doesn’t ever do that when talking to clients. It’s more with Corvus, or if he’s trying to make himself look cool to Enjin. Super weird. Doesn’t make any sense for him to do it now.

He makes sure to end it after that, politely taking their leave.

Rudo silently follows him away from the pair, away from the cafe they were loitering outside of. Their establishment, apparently. Now that Rudo thinks about it, Zanka was even acting strange when they first met these women before the job, but Rudo was too focused on the actually killing Trash Beasts of it all to notice that. Maybe they were giving off bad vibes that he couldn’t pick up on for some reason.

“Where do we have to be?” Rudo asks once they’re far enough that the clients can’t hear them anymore. Sure, they do have to meet with Enjin and Riyo, but they haven’t heard back from them yet, which means they’re still working. He has a feeling that Zanka made that up, but he doesn’t know why, exactly. They’ve taken gifts from strangers before. Maybe a drink is too risky.

“Nowhere. I'm just not in the business of takin’ things from strangers,” Zanka says. He doesn’t turn to look at Rudo. “‘specially creeps like them.”

At least he’s talking like normal again. That was super weird.

“Fair enough, I guess,” Rudo says.

It’s bright as hell out. And hot.

Rudo’s always been a little sensitive to light. Regto has always said it’s because of his light eyelashes. Most of the time, everything on the Ground is hazy enough that nothing completely shines through, but it’s less cloudy than normal today. Rudo’s found himself squinting a few times, and Zanka too, who has now led the two of them under an awning as he takes out his water bottle to take a few sips. Rudo does the same.

He opens a bottle of something from his bag, takes out two pills, and swallows them with the water he has in his hand. It was really quick, and if Rudo wasn't looking at him, he probably would've missed it.

That was weird.

He really wants to ask what that was, but he has a strong feeling Zanka will shut him down. He's been more short and snippy than usual today, and Rudo doesn't feel like arguing for no reason. So he decides to drop it. The bottle Zanka took out of his bag disappears as soon as it was taken out.

At least it was a quick job.

They’re headed back, on foot, to the vehicle. Riyo and Enjin ended up splitting off from them to take care of a larger, single Beast on the other side of town that a different client called in. Two birds, one stone, Enjin said, even though it was technically five birds, four stones. He doesn’t think Enjin’s using that phrase correctly.

He notices Zanka purposefully hanging around the shadowy parts of the street on their way back, but at some point, they run out of luck. It’s too bright for Zanka to walk without keeping a hand over his eyes, and even though it’s not quite that bad for Rudo, he still feels bad for him. Sure, he hasn’t lived a day on the Ground that has been as bright as days on the Sphere with actual sunlight, but people from the Ground probably just aren’t used to days that are a little brighter.

He imagines Zanka and the others would probably need sunglasses if Rudo ever managed to get them up there. It’s a silly thought, but it gives him an idea.

He turns his satchel to his front as they walk, digging around for something to use. He doesn’t have any sunglasses, but he dig for the compact umbrella that he picked up a few days ago. The handle is broken, making it a little impractical to use, but it’s still useful. Rudo can make it useful.

Maybe he can use his ability on it. He’s only used 3R once today, and they don’t anticipate any jobs after this one, even though it’s super early in the day. So he can try to make this useful enough for Zanka to hold.

He tries. He holds it out while they’re walking, and it transforms into something much edgier looking, with a handle exactly like Rudo had pictured. Maybe a little too practical. It’s ergonomic and everything, and he realizes the thought he put into it materialized pretty perfectly.

Zanka stops and stares at him in confusion, his eyes wandering around like he’s wondering if he missed something. Rudo stretches out his arm and hands it to him as they stop walking.

Zanka blinks, his eyes now scanning the clouds around them, as if maybe Rudo knows something about the weather that he doesn't. He doesn’t take it.

“No. For you.”

Zanka still doesn’t seem to understand.

“Since it's so bright,” Rudo says, vaguely gesturing to the sky.

“Oh,” Zanka says, his shoulders deflating a little. “Y’sure? I don't wanna take your stuff.”

“If it's useful to someone else, it's fine.”

Rudo sounds a little more sentimental than he means to, but it is genuine. If it's useful to Zanka, then it's okay.

Surprisingly, Zanka doesn’t manage to turn that into an insult. He takes it, gingerly, and they continue their walk back to where the vehicle is parked.

At some point, Enjin phones in on Zanka’s choker, letting him know that he and Riyo are finished and on their way back after a brief summary on how it went. He reminds Zanka to write down a quick report, since they don’t have any Supporters with them today.

The feedback and metallic ringing from the choker seems to bother Zanka, too, but the conversation is short enough. Rudo wonders if maybe he didn’t get enough sleep the night before, but he certainly won’t ask him.

They arrive back to the covered garage, and as Zanka moves to hand the umbrella back to Rudo, it disintegrates in his hand. They both stare at his hand, before staring back at each other.

“Interestin’,” Zanka murmurs. “Works the same way for every day stuff, too.”

That’s good to know. It’s not just useful for fighting, then.

Zanka sits against the tire of the vehicle, using his as a surface for his notebook, scribbling things down about the job like Enjin asked him to. Usually, he’ll make Rudo do it, or at least tell Rudo what’s important for them to write in, but apparently he just wants to get it over with. He doesn’t say a word to Rudo the whole time, so Rudo just ends up standing around and observing their surroundings.

Is now a bad time to ask? Hey, what were those pills?

Are you okay?

He can’t just ask him that straight up. Zanka would totally hit him upside the head with Lovely.

Maybe it’s an old injury. They looked like pain medication, but not the kind Rudo has gotten used to seeing. Or maybe it has something to do with him apparently being a little sensitive to light and sound right now.

Enjin and Riyo reappear soon enough, and Zanka stands once they come back, handing Enjin his notebook once he asks to see it. He seems a little reluctant to hand it over.

Enjin skims over Zanka’s report. He squints as he reads it. Rudo does know that Zanka’s handwriting is terrible.

“What's this about traffickers?” Enjin says.

Rudo blinks. He looks to Zanka. There’s a weird silence.

“The clients?” Rudo asks. He can’t think of any other humans they ran into.

“Yeah,” Zanka says.

“Wh…huh?” Rudo says back, trying to think of anything that could have tipped him off to that. Zanka has told him what those guys usually wear, the caravans they travel with, the sort of things they’ll say and do. He didn’t pick up on anything like that, even in hindsight.

“I've met ‘em before,” Zanka mumbles. “One of ‘em.”

Enjin narrows his eyes. “They didn't recognize you?”

“Nah. The woman's basically blind now. Her partner was new,” Zanka answers.

“And…when’d y’meet these people?” Enjin asks him, lowering his voice a little, like he’s nervous to ask.

“It’s…” Zanka starts, his eyes shifting over to Rudo, like he’d rather not recall a story that other people don’t know about. Rudo wouldn’t blame him at all. He doesn’t like thinking about his brief encounter with Traffickers either, when he first got to the Ground.

Riyo speaks up. “Those are the people that drugged you, right? And…”

There’s a brief silence.

Zanka huffs. “Yeah.”

Enjin’s face twists up in confusion. “Zanka, y-”

“Listen, there’s no point in reportin’ these people,” Zanka bites back, with a lot more venom than he’s ever heard him use against Enjin. “The Hell Guard’ll get ‘em out. They use ‘em for intel all the time.”

Rudo’s vaguely heard about this story, but only in the form of a warning, with the added context that it had something to do with Zanka. Enjin has explicitly told them in the past not to take drinks from people. It didn’t matter how hot it was, or how thirsty they were. He said he’d rather have them treated for a heat stroke than have them kidnapped.

That explains why Zanka’s been acting so weird.

“Seems pretty backwards for those guys to use criminals for intel,” Enjin grumbles, handing Zanka the notebook back. He doesn’t seem upset with Zanka, but he’s definitely pissed about the situation. “Are they still out there?”

“They're gonna do whatever serves ‘em. Intel’s more important,” Zanka answers, avoiding eye contact completely.

“They still out there, Zanka?” Enjin repeats, tilting his head. His voice is stern.

Zanka doesn’t say anything. Rudo feels like he should answer, but he doesn’t. He pays close attention to Zanka’s defensive posture.

“Why aren’t you answering?” Enjin asks.

“Can we just go?” Zanka says quietly. “‘S not our job to deal with those people.”

“Zanka’s right,” Riyo interjects, taking a step toward Enjin. “Our job is to kill Trash Beasts. The point of the reports is to give that information to the Hell Guard, and we’ll do that. If they do something, they do something.”

The silence in the air is almost poisonous. Rudo doesn’t think he’s ever witnessed an argument between Enjin and Zanka before, although he doesn’t know if this even counts as one. Enjin’s eyes go from Riyo’s, to Zanka’s, to Rudo’s, before he takes a breath, and apparently gives up.

“Guess you’re right,” he says. “This conversation isn’t over, though.”

Rudo wishes he had more context, but maybe he doesn’t want to know.

They start the brief checklist of preparing the car for a three hour trip back to headquarters. Making sure it’s running properly, it’s got enough fuel, and that it hasn’t been rigged while it’s been unattended - apparently a common issue. Rudo sees Enjin apologize to Zanka, but Zanka doesn’t give him much of a reaction.

Eventually, they all climb into the car, and Enjin starts the car without issue, and pulls out of the parking garage. Riyo has taken the front seat, and Rudo is in the back with Zanka, with Zanka behind Enjin. He doesn’t usually sit there, and Rudo has to wonder if he’s trying to avoid any more confrontation with Enjin.

“It's too early for dinner, but I guess we can get lunch,” Enjin says as they get on the road. “Probably something in town, since it’s…still nine in the morning.”

“I'm gonna skip,” Zanka says, “if that's cool.”

“Takeout?” Enjin offers a compromise.

Zanka pauses, then shrugs. “Sure.”

The car ride is fairly quiet, aside from Enjin’s usual radio blasting. There’s brief conversation about a missing Too Lily CD in the front half of the car, but Zanka never joins in or reacts to anything they say. His eyes are fixed out of the window most of the time, but that’s not really out of the ordinary for him. Rudo tries not to spend too much time staring at him, because he knows it’ll piss him off pretty quick if he notices, but he was so weirdly docile in that tense conversation with Enjin that he’s not totally sure.

About an hour in, Enjin and Riyo decide on a restaurant for take-out that they like. Food from the place Zanka is from, apparently. They’re still a little under two hours away from headquarters, but this is a place that’s apparently super good, so they decide they’ll order and heat it up again when they get back. Enjin disappears inside for a while to order, leaving the three of them in the car outside.

Riyo turns around in her seat, staring at Zanka for a few seconds to try and get his attention. Eventually, he notices he’s being stared at, and turns to look at her.

“You okay?” Riyo asks him quietly.

“‘M fine,” Zanka mumbles, “didn’t need to make a big deal about it.”

“You know he’s just worried.”

“Yeah. I know,” Zanka huffs. “It was like, a year ago, ‘n I’m fine.”

“Okay, okay,” Riyo says, apparently now deciding to give up. Zanka’s made it very clear that he doesn’t want this situation to continue.

After about five minutes of awkward silence, Zanka speaks.

“Riyo,” he says, “y'got any water left?”

“Some,” she replies, reaching back from the front seat to hand it to him.

Rudo watches him do it again right after Riyo turns around. The same thing as earlier today. He slyly takes two pills without Riyo noticing. This time, he definitely wants to say something, but is it right to? He’s obviously trying on purpose to not get anyone’s attention, and as much as Rudo doesn't care about pissing him off, this isn't territory he's familiar with. Especially with this already weird existing tension.

He decides to keep his mouth shut.

Enjin returns, putting the bags of food into the back of the car before getting back into the driver’s seat, cranking up the music and driving off.

Rudo continues secretly eyeing Zanka for most of the drive.

Zanka’s still being weird. He hasn’t said a word since he borrowed Riyo’s water. He was pretty normal this morning, maybe with a little less bite than usual, but normal nonetheless. He was sort of squinting before, but now his eyes are totally screwed shut. He looks like his head his bothering him. Rudo wonders if that’s what the pills were for, but if it is, they clearly aren’t working. He’s sweating, too, Rudo can see it dampening his hairline. It is kind of hot out, sure, but the car is pretty well air conditioned.

Enjin reaches over to the radio to turn the nob, and quiet down the music.

“Did we report it to the Hell Guard the first time? When those people drugged you?” Enjin asks, his eyes shifting to look at Zanka through the rear view mirror, but Zanka doesn't reply.

Should they be talking about this right now? He thought Zanka made it pretty clear that at the very least, now was not the time, but he doesn’t even turn his head to look over at Enjin. He’s gripping Lovely pretty tight.

“No, he told us not to,” Riyo reminds him.

“Why're you so sure they wouldn't do anything about it?” Enjin asks. “Even if they don’t give a shit what happens to us, if they’re targeting us, it probably means they’re targeting civilians, too.”

Rudo turns his head to Zanka, because he’d honestly like to know the answer too, especially if it’s something Enjin’s concerned about. He doesn’t say anything, but it sounds like he’s breathing deeper.

“Right, Zanka?” Enjin says.

Zanka still doesn’t say anything. That’s super unlike him. He would have certainly said something by now.

“Everything okay over there?” Enjin asks, and Riyo turns out of her seat to look at Zanka.

“Zan, you look super nauseous,” Riyo says, sounding surprised to be making that observation.

“Shut up,” he mumbles.

“Do I need to pull over?” Enjin asks.

“I'm gonna say yes,” Riyo decides.

Pulling over is pretty easy on these long stretches of what can hardly be considered a road between the populated areas, so all Enjin has to do is slow down and stop the car, which he somehow manages to do without jostling everyone around. Rudo didn’t think that was possible. Zanka covers his face and groans, apparently hating everything about the situation, and apologizes.

Zanka doesn’t waste any time getting out of the car once it’s stopped, swinging the door open and turning the corner of the car with a hand braced against it, before he gags and throws up into the dirt. He coughs and sputters, and Riyo stands next to him, a hand on his back. It’s probably everything they had for breakfast. The arm that isn’t braced against the car is wrapped tight around his middle.

Rudo tries to put the pieces together. It almost seems like, on the surface, that this is somehow related to what they were talking about in the car and before they left, but it doesn't add up. It doesn't explain how much he's been squinting, and the pills he keeps taking, right? He gets out of the car at the same time as Enjin, just a few seconds after.

Zanka’s legs are shaking enough for Riyo to try and convince him to sit down, and she manages to do that without any pushback.

“‘M sorry,” Zanka mumbles, spitting into the puddle of vomit in front of him, his eyes screwed shut and very obviously in pain. Rudo wonders if this constitutes him needing to go to a doctor, but he supposes Enjin will make that decision.

“I'm gonna run you over if you keep apologizing,” Enjin teases, but there’s a pretty clear undertone of concern. “How long were you feeling sick for, Zanka?”

“Not long,” he mumbles, but Rudo isn’t sure he completely believes him. His face is really pale, and Rudo thinks he’s been looking like that for a while. His face suddenly pales again, and a gag against his will forces up more vomit into the puddle. His whole body shudders afterward.

Riyo manages to guide him over to the back of the Jeep, where they’re in the shade, and Zanka sits against it. He’s sitting completely still, his hands covering his face, taking slow, intentional breaths. Riyo still sits beside him, rubbing his back. Zanka definitely doesn’t look like he feels any better.

“Lemme see,” Enjin says, crouching down in front of him and laying the back of his hand against his forehead once Zanka moves his hands out of his face. He frowns. “A little warm. You’re sweating, too.”

“‘S hot out,” Zanka mumbles defensively.

“Yeah, kinda…” Enjin says, but apparently not entirely satisfied with Zanka’s excuse.

Zanka sits against the Jeep, taking small sips of water from Riyo's bottle, but after a while, he crosses his arms over his knees to hide his face.

“Okay, two options. Either we take you straight back, if you think you can handle the drive, or we stop in the next town,” Enjin says.

“‘M fine. We can drive straight back,” Zanka mumbles after lifting his head.

“You do not look fine, Zan,” Enjin tells him sternly.

Zanka deflates, hearing that. Rudo definitely agrees, though, and Riyo’s expression tells him she thinks the exact same thing. He’s still super pale, and he can’t seem to keep his eyes open, even while they’re sitting in the shade.

“Stop…stop treatin’ me like ‘m fragile,” Zanka mumbles back at him.

“I’m not doing that, Zanka,” Enjin says with a sigh, “I’m…listen, I’m just trying to make sure you’re using your head and not making decisions based on…trying to hide that you’re sick.”

“‘M not sick,” Zanka growls back at him.

Apparently, that’s enough for Enjin to give up. He sighs. “Okay. Fine.”

There’s that weird tension again.

After a few minutes, Zanka reiterates that he’s feeling fine now, even though nobody believes him. He doesn’t take anyone’s help to stand up, and seems to get back in the car without a problem. Riyo gestures to Rudo that she’s going to switch seats with him, clearly, because she doesn’t trust Zanka.

Rudo gets in the front seat next to Enjin.

“How long's the drive?” Zanka asks from the back.

“It's two hours back,” Enjin reminds him as he restarts the car. It’s already gotten super hot inside from just the few minutes they were stopped for.

Zanka groans, leaning his head against the seat.

“We can stop somewhere if y’want. Like I said. Get you some medicine,” Enjin says, his eyes peering back through the rear view again.

“Don't need any,” Zanka murmurs, leaning his head against the window.

Enjin pauses for a second. “You sure?”

“Mhm,” Zanka mumbles.

“‘Kay, fine…”

Zanka really only looks worse the further they get into the drive. It’s weird, because he’s technically seen him in worse shape, but he just looks really bad right now. He just really looks like he doesn’t feel well, and Rudo assumes that’s the look that tipped off Riyo into thinking he was nauseous earlier.

Enjin talks about the possibility of food poisoning. Most of them had the same thing from the cafeteria last night, and Zanka was the only one feeling sick. He said bad batches were always possible, food poisoning is a serious killer on the ground, but it doesn’t really line up enough with what’s going on with Zanka for him to land on that with certainty. Zanka doesn’t argue back, but Rudo doesn’t think he’s even paying attention.

Eventually, Zanka very meekly asks everyone to stop talking, and they oblige. Enjin even turns his music completely off, which Rudo didn’t even know was an option.

At some point, Rudo hears a bag rustling, and before he can turn around, he realizes Zanka is hunched over and throwing up into a plastic bag that he’s holding open. Riyo has scooted closer to him, ignoring her seatbelt, a hand on his back. He sounds totally miserable, between the gagging and just the way that he’s breathing. It lasts for several minutes, and happens again about half an hour after that. The second time, Zanka really seems like he’s in pain, curling in on himself, Riyo holding the bag open for him. It lasts longer than the first time, too. He’s apologizing profusely, but Riyo just shushes him.

It’s confirmation enough that what happened back there wasn’t just a one-time thing, that Zanka is probably sick like Enjin was suggesting. Rudo has noticed the crease in his brow deepen.

They manage to make it back without it happening again, parking in the headquarter’s garage. Enjin asks for Rudo’s help to get the food out of the back of the car, and Zanka’s the last one to step out. Zanka’s not really steady on his feet at all as he steps out of the vehicle, his foot nearly slipping on the edge.

Enjin opens his mouth to say something to him as he shuts the trunk door, but his sentence dies completely when Zanka halfway bends over with an arm wrapped around his middle, choking up bits of whatever is left in his stomach onto the garage floor.

Four times now. There’s no way he’s not sick.

Riyo’s standing next to him, rubbing his shoulder again. It’s a lot less productive this time, mostly retching that doesn’t bring anything up, but it sounds painful and miserable all the same. Rudo notices his legs shaking again, but his arms and his hands, too. He can’t tell if it’s pain or something else. He’s seen his hands shake when he’s anxious before.

“Just gi'mme a minute,” he mumbles in between pained breaths. “Sorry…”

“I'll make sure the infirmary’s r-”

“No infirmary,” Zanka murmurs, cutting off Enjin’s idea. “Don’ need'a bother Eishia with this.”

Rudo can see Enin biting the inside of his lip. Riyo gestures something to Enjin that Rudo doesn’t quite catch, and Enjin looks at Rudo, and tilts his head in the direction of the door.

“C'mon Rudo, let's get this heated up,” Enjin says, lifting up the bag of food he’s holding.

A very clear let's leave them alone, but Rudo agrees. He imagines Zanka probably won’t join them for this, then. He follows Enjin out of the garage, peering back at Zanka for just a second before the door closes behind him.

He's chewing at his lip. It can't be that he fell asleep. He wouldn't do that on purpose, but maybe he had one too many drinks? No, no. That doesn't really align with the type of guy Enjin is. Besides, Fu has concluded he prefers cigarettes over alcohol.

So what even happened here?

What should he even do?

He shifts a bit closer, until he's maybe a foot away. He crouches down next to him. He's definitely breathing. It's slow and regular like he's asleep. He squeaks out his name again, but he doesn't get any sort of indication that Enjin can hear him, or even knows someone else is there.

He's tempted to rouse him, he even has a hand partially stretched out to touch him, but he hesitates. He doesn't want to wake a sleeping person he hardly knows anything about.

“Enjin…please wake up…” he squeaks. This is just terrible.

He sits on the floor, his eyes shining with the frustration of being totally without any ideas on what to do here. He tries to get a closer look at Enjin, but he doesn't see anything super out of the ordinary. It's not like he's pale, or something that would make Fu think he's unwell. He doesn't seem injured, either - in fact, he's wearing clothes that Fu has seen him in on his days off.

What happened?

“I can't just leave him here…but I don't know what to do…” Fu mumbles to himself.

He hears a groan.

What do you mean, you don't know what to do? You should get someone to help.

Hii's voice.

“I should, but what if it's…you know…he sleeps here on purpose, and I just don't know about it…”

It's possible, right? Fu has never seen Enjin's bedroom. Maybe he doesn't have one. Maybe he sleeps here, in the hallway of the basement floor, because the floor is cold.

Is this guy a fucking dog?

“No…no…” Fu mumbles.

You are such a fucking dunce. It's unbelievable. Go find someone to help him.

“I don't even know who to look for…it's so late, everyone's asleep, probably…” Fu mumbles. Anyone on Enjin's team would be a good choice, but how likely are they to believe an Ex-Raider, and follow him unprompted into the basement floor past midnight? They would rather throw him out of the front door, probably.

But what's the other option? Do nothing?

He huffs. No. That can't be what he does.

He can do it. Enjin obviously isn't conscious enough to give him any directive, so he has no other choice, right? There's lots of options. Wake him up. Get somebody. Yell until someone hears him. Leaving him here would have worse consequences than doing nothing, right?

Or would it be better to just sit here until he wakes up?

Fu bites his lip.

That wouldn't require any major decision making.

But what if it's the wrong call? What if something is actually really wrong? He hadn't considered that.

What if he dies?

Are you stupid?

“No!” Fu shouts. He quickly covers his mouth after realizing how loud he was.

Just checking. Seem pretty stupid to me.

Fu scoots against the wall, sitting perpendicular to where Enjin is laying, pulling his knees up to his chest. Enjin isn't in any danger, he's pretty sure. He's breathing normally. No blood, no illness that he can see. Maybe he just fell asleep here. Maybe Fu just needs to wait.

Sitting, waiting and doing nothing is his speciality. And it seems like a pretty okay option for the time being.

…

Fu thinks he's registered about three hours as having passed until he sees Enjin's form start to shift.

His whole body stiffens. He stays against the wall for a second. He crawls a little closer, his head tilting as he sees Enjin's face start to shift toward him. There's a deep groan before he speaks.

“Nn...? Fu…?”

Fu just blinks several times as Enjin squints to try and figure out who he's looking at. He tries to give himself some leverage, an arm against the floor to get himself up, but he gives up about halfway through and ends up lying on his back instead, staring up at the ceiling and the dim, flickering light barely illuminating the hallway.

“Where th'hell am I…?” Enjin manages to say, but honestly, his words are so slurred into each other that Fu has trouble piecing his question together right away.

But he can answer confidently. He can do that, at the very, very least.

“In - the hallway, sir!” he barks.

“I told ya’ t'drop the sir crap…” Enjin groans, pressing a hand up against the side of his head. “Must've…gah…”

Fu presses his lips together, realizing he's already messed up by speaking too loud.

He gives Enjin a minute to gather himself, as he quietly observes their surroundings, suspiciously for a few seconds. He sighs soon after, rubbing his hands over his face with what sounds like an annoyed groan. Fu wonders if maybe he remembers what got him here.

“C'n ya’ help me up?” Enjin asks him, and Fu obeys immediately, taking Enjin's arm to give him some leverage to pull him up into at least a sitting position, which seems to be enough for him for the time being. He's still squinting, and his hand travels up to the same side of his face as before.

“Did you…are you hurt…?” Fu asks meekly.

“Nah, j's…fell on my face, I think,” Enjin mumbles rubbing the side of his face. “When'd y’find me? What time's it?”

“Three…hours ago…” Fu mumbles, trying to recall exactly when that was. “It's…it's almost four in the morning, I think, but I haven't gone to check, it's just a personal guess -”

“Don't tell me you've been sittin’ here the whole time…?” Enjin asks, his brow furrowed.

Fu mumbles an apology instead of admitting to it. Did he make the wrong choice?

“It's fine, just…y’could've left me. This happens all the time.”

What happens all the time…?

Fu lifts his head up again to look at him, hoping that maybe Enjin will tell him, because he's afraid to ask. Maybe it's an invasion of his privacy.

“Guess ya’ couldn't have known that, though…” Enjin says with a heavy sigh. “Jus’...do me a favor and don't tell anybody. Yeah?”

Fu blinks at him. “Don't…tell anybody?”

“Right,” Enjin says, “I don't need anyone worryin’ about me.”

Fu feels his chest get tight. That seems wrong. Sure, Fu didn't see whatever happened that caused him to get here, and he doesn't have any clue what could have happened, but surely it's not any normal thing that would cause a person to be unconscious for this amount of time in the hallway.

Fu purses his lips as he helps Enjin off the floor. It's an order, he has to obey.

…

“Yes, Zanka Nijiku, sir -”

“Stop callin’ me by my whole name. And aren't you the same age ‘s me? Why're you callin’ me sir?”

Zanka is really scary. He's tall. A lot of the Cleaners are tall, but Zanka is his age, which makes it a lot scarier than anyone else who is taller than him. He's loud, too. Again, not much different from the rest, but there’s a coldness in his tone that Fu is terrified of. It's all just a really bad combination.

“Scary…” Fu mumbles.

Rudo shakes his head. “Nah, he's just an asshole.”

“The fuck?”

Fu isn't sure how he ended up in the garage, anyway. One of the Supporters was showing him how they load up the cars for missions because he wanted to help, be useful instead of sitting around, but he didn't know where to start, where to get involved.

Rudo, Riyo and Zanka are all here. The former two are dressed in uniform, with Zanka in casual clothing. Fu remembers hearing about him supposedly still recovering from injuries Jabber dealt him. Fu shivers at the idea that a person survived an encounter with Jabber to begin with. It adds to his scary points.

“Nothing scary about him. If anything, he's probably scared of y-”

“Why don't I just-”

“C'mon, boys.”

Oh, the redhead. Riyo. She's way scarier than anyone he's met here with the Cleaners. Her glare is probably enough to kill him, so he makes sure to completely avoid eye contact with her. His eyes shoot down to the garage floor. Unfortunately, he did catch a glimpse of a seemingly sweet, I'm going to kill you if you move the wrong muscle smile on her face.

One of the Supporters ushers Fu back over to what they were doing, and he feels the glares of all three of them against his back. Zanka ends up following. He was helping load up cars too, much to the dismay of other Supporters, who have been repeatedly reminding him he's not supposed to be lifting anything.

He feels Zanka watching him as the Supporter explains to Fu everything that goes onto the vehicle first-aid kits, which are a lot more extensive than he would ever think they needed to be. Tourniquets, activated charcoal, suture material. There's even tubes and scopes for what he can only imagine are for emergency intubations. These Cleaners seem to be prepared for anything. They're so admirable.

The Supporter instructs him to lock and close the medication box after handing him a key, and the pressure of Zanka staring him down is apparently too much for him to handle, because the key he tries to insert just ends up hitting right outside of the key hole. Five times.

“What's up with you, huh?” Zanka bites.

Fu shrinks, this time, successfully locking the box.

“What were ya’ doin’ so late that y'er so tired ya’ can't focus? You don't even have ta’ go on jobs,” Zanka tells him, his teeth grit while he talks to him.

Fu is definitely very, very tired, and he's surprised Zanka picked up on that. He didn't think any of them were paying much attention to him at all.

“Don't be so mean,” Riyo chides, her tone playful.

“I'm not bein’ mean,” Zanka grumbles under his breath.

“I was…well, I found somebody…”

Fu squeaks. Maybe he shouldn't have started to say that. He tried an excuse first out of instinct, but he remembers he wasn't supposed to share details. He was ordered to not share details. He's the worst ever. What does he do now?

Just tell them. Holy shit.

“Found somebody?” Zanka repeats, visibly frustrated, Fu realizes when he turns around. He's leaning against the vehicle.

“In the hallway…” Fu continues, so quiet he can hardly hear himself.

Enjin very clearly told him not to tell anyone, but there's no harm in explaining his situation to Zanka Nijiku. He's only explaining why he's not focused. That's all. Maybe they won't ask questions.

“You found somebody in the hallway?” Riyo asks. She's staring straight into his soul. Zanka's arms are crossed over his chest staring him down right along with her.

Of course they're asking questions.

Idiot.

“Yes…and I…I waited for them to wake up…” Fu mumbles. Rudo looks confused about this interrogation. “For three hours…”

Zanka raises a brow.

“So…that's why I…”

“Who, Fu?” Riyo asks.

Fu totally shrinks when he hears Enjin walk in, and Riyo and Zanka's expressions tell him that they completely understood the message. It only takes Rudo a few seconds to follow.

“What's goin’ on out here, huh?”

“Same like usual, slacking and wasting time,” Riyo teases. Zanka seems to take this personally, taken aback that she would even say that as a joke.

“What're you doing out here, guy who I explicitly told not to lift anything?” Enjin says, a brow raised with his gaze in Zanka's direction. He seems to sort of ignore Fu's presence. Fu tries to get a good look at his face. He looks completely exhausted, and the group seems suspicious, but they keep quiet.

“Not lifting anything,” Zanka mumbles dejectedly.

“Don't worry, he's not,” Riyo says. “We were just showing our little ex-Raider our first aid kits.”

“We…?” Rudo mumbles, but his reply seems to go unheard.

“Oh, well, don't stop on my account,” Enjin says, waving them off before he wanders over to the other car.

About half an hour passes. The Supporters helping Fu finished giving him the run-down on stocking and preparing their vehicles, and he was able to do it sort of successfully. It's a lot of information, but he wants to be helpful, he wants to do it correctly. He's useful. He has to be, or else, what is he?

They prepared two cars for this job. Enjin is taking Riyo, Rudo and a pretty sizable group of Supporters. Zanka, apparently, still isn't allowed on jobs.

Fu wanders back into the garage with a stack of cleaning towels that he was asked to put in the racks, and when he re-enters, there aren't any Supporters left. He hears them talking, but nothing stands out to him until he puts away the towels.

“Dammit,” Enjin huffs, “can't drive.”

“Can't drive? Why?” Fu hears Riyo say.

Fu shifts over, feeling his heart drop. Something is definitely wrong.

He's staring at his hands, and it looks like Riyo is quietly waiting for a response that it seems like she isn't going to get.

“Enjin?”

He doesn't respond. He's totally zoned out. Fu is very quickly realizing that whatever is going on is related to how he found him last night.

“Come on, let's sit you down, yeah?” she says, taking his arm and trying to guide him down to the floor. Enjin obliges, but it's very clear to Fu that he isn't all there. His eyes aren't focused on anything.

Riyo makes sure he's leaning against the car once she's able to sit him down, and she says something to him again, briefly waves a hand in his face, all for nothing, apparently. He doesn't react to any of it, and there's a sudden tension in the air. Fu assumes he's about to pass out, but the reactions from the other two make it seem like it might be worse.

Zanka's brow furrows. “Is he -”

“I'm pretty sure,” Riyo nods. She's able to move Enjin so that he's laying on his side, and still, he doesn't fight back, doesn't say anything.

“Should I get Eishia?” Zanka asks. He sounds nervous.

“Probably a good idea,” Riyo says, laying her hand on Enjin's shoulder. She says something to him again, but Fu doesn't hear it.

“I'll go. I saw her earlier,” Rudo insists.

Should you even be here for this? You're just in the way.

Fu has a hard time discerning his personal inner voice from Hii's, and right now, he can't tell the difference.

Zanka's posture is completely different from before. His air of confidence has more or less disappeared, completely overtaken by what seems to be fear, an expression of anxiety Fu didn't think he'd ever see on a person like him. His breaths are so fast that it makes Fu wonder if this is an appropriate reaction. Riyo doesn't seem that nervous at all. He's confused.

“Zanka?” Riyo says, peering over at him, “you don't have to stay. I've got it, yeah?”

Zanka's eyes dart nervously between Enjin and Riyo, like he isn't sure he believes her.

“Go find Eishia,” she tells him. “Go with Rudo.”

Zanka is clearly hesitant to leave, taking a few steps backwards before he commits and leaves the garage in the same direction Rudo left. With apparently perfect timing, Fu’s eyes trail back to Enjin’s practically unconscious form, and everything clicks when he notices Enjin’s limbs start to twitch. Then jerk.

A seizure. That's what's happening.

He's never once seen something like this in an environment where there's people making sure that the person suffering is okay. This is only something he saw as a side effect of poison, thanks to Jabber, so he has no idea what he would even do in a situation like this. Most of those people died as a result of the poison, anyway, so can a person even survive a seizure?

“I'm giving you a job, got it?” Riyo says. Her voice is stern, and she keeps her hands firm on Enjin’s arm and shoulder to keep him on his side.

Fu squeaks. “A…a job!?”

“Right. An order. See the clock? Keep track of when this started. And stop counting when the convulsions stop.”

“Yes! I can do that!” he barks back, his eyes shooting over to the crooked digital clock hanging over the doorway to the garage. He tries to account for the fifteen seconds or so that have passed since it actually started.

This is good. He can do something to be helpful. Rudo and Zanka are both looking for Eishia, and Riyo can’t focus on the clock because she’s holding Enjin in place.

“And take off your hoodie. Put it under his head,” Riyo tells him, carefully shifting one hand underneath the side of his face in the meantime, likely so he doesn’t hurt himself. Fu takes off the hoodie faster than he’s ever taken anything off in his life, and folds it twice so that there’s enough cushion under his head. He holds his breath, concerned with how tightly Enjin's eyes are shut.

Fu’s eyes flick back and forth between the clock and Enjin, and after a few minutes, he starts to worry if this is something that should even last multiple minutes. Riyo doesn’t seem concerned, but he’s also gotten the impression that she’s very good at hiding her true feelings, so it’s hard to say if it’s on purpose or not. No one files back in, which has to be some sort of crazy coincidence, considering how many Supporters are supposed to be going on this job.

Riyo’s choker rings, and Rudo’s voice checks in.

“Riyo?”

“Can’t find Eishia?” Riyo says back through her choker.

“No, I don’t think she has her choker on,” Rudo says. “Zanka’s checking the basement floor and I’m gonna look in the storage unit.”

“Okay, it’s fine. She doesn’t have to be here before it’s over,” Riyo insists.

“Are you sure…?”

“I just want her to check him out after,” she says.

“Okay. We’ll keep looking.”

The connection stops, and Riyo stays where she is, keeping her focus. Fu thinks this conversation might be confirmation that this isn’t a fatal thing, or even dangerous at all. It sounds like it’s something that’s happened multiple times, enough for her to have this figured out - the timing, the cushion under his head, keeping him on his side.

Several more minutes pass. There’s a few times where Fu thinks it’s stopped, because the convulsions aren’t as intense, but they pick back up just as quickly. They're even so violent at times that Riyo has trouble holding him steady on his side. He definitely would have hurt his head if Fu's hoodie wasn't there, and he probably hurt his head last night, now that he's thinking back on it. Some Supporters start to file in, and Fu can hear a few gasps from behind them, and one of the older Supporters even kneels beside Riyo, offering her assistance.

There's shouting from him, too, intermittently. It scares Fu every time, and it echoes through the garage. He can't really make out words most of the time, and he can't tell if it's involuntary or not, but each time, Riyo makes some attempt to comfort him. It's okay. You're okay.

“How can I help you, miss Riyo?”

“It’s okay. He’s fine,” she says, so casual and convincing despite the scene in front of them. Riyo asks if the Supporter maybe knows where Eishia might be, and one behind them speaks up and says they do. She directs them to tell either Rudo or Zanka where she is.

The older Supporter stands up and tells the rest of them to keep their distance.

It is really difficult to see him like this. These Supporters likely know him a little better than Fu does, and maybe it's ever scarier for him, but it's scary enough for Fu to see someone who he thinks is as cool as he thinks Enjin is brought down like this. Completely vulnerable, too.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the convulsions stop completely.

Fu lets go of his breath.

“Okay. Time?” Riyo asks, gently rubbing Enjin’s shoulder.

“Eleven minutes, twenty two seconds and -”

“That's all I needed,” Riyo says. “Good, so you're useful for something.”

Useful is not a word that has often, or ever, been used to describe Fu. He knows there's a completely uncontrolled wobbly smile on his face.

Riyo turns her head to face the group of five Supporters standing behind them, all looking completely terrified by what they’ve witnessed. These seizures must be a common sight for her, but it seems like these Supporters have never seen a seizure in their life.

“He's okay,” Riyo insists, “I know it looks scary, but it’s just something that happens to him sometimes.”

“Eleven minutes seems like…” One of them mumbles quietly, apparently overhearing Fu’s count.

“They're typically that long,” Riyo says. “He’s not epileptic.”

Eleven minutes does seem like a really long time for a seizure, but Fu isn’t familiar with epilepsy, or causes for seizures outside of epilepsy and poison.

“So,” Riyo says, turning her head to Fu and lowering her voice.. “Enjin was the one you found in the hallway?”

All Fu can do is squeak. Enjin told him not to tell, but he didn't really put any measures in place to make sure no one found out.

“And…what time did you find him?” she asks. She sounds really, really scary.

Fu blinks. The Supporters don’t seem like they’re overhearing the conversation, but they’re definitely staring at him. Judging.

“What time did you find this mysterious person in the hallway?”

“Two…two in the morning…maybe two thirty,” Fu says, lowering his head. Clearly it’s information she needs. Important to Enjin’s safety. Right? She’s demanding the information of him anyway. He can’t refuse.

“So two of these in twelve hours, huh?” she says quietly, turning her attention back to Enjin. “Wonder what's….going on with him…”

Fu hears Enjin groan quietly, tension flooding into his expression for a few seconds before it relaxes again, this time, closing his eyes intentionally. Riyo’s rubbing his shoulder, a little more rough than before, on purpose.

“Sorry, you gotta wake up,” Riyo tells him.

“Sorry it took us so long,” Rudo says, appearing back into the garage, with Zanka and Eishia behind him, and the Supporter who must have helped them locate her.

Eishia starts to mumble and apologize profusely before she kneels down next to Enjin. She and Riyo both carefully lay Enjin on his back before Riyo stands and takes a few steps back to stand with Zanka and Rudo. Fu does the same, standing a bit further away.

“Don't worry so much. You know he has these all the time,” Riyo says, a hand on Zanka’s back.

“I know,” Zanka mumbles, his arms crossed defensively over his chest, keep concern in his expression as he watches Eishia examine Enjin.. It doesn't seem to have comforted him at all.

More people have gathered in the surrounding area, and Fu wonders if the word has probably gotten around from the search for Eishia. The garage isn't a place that isn't free of foot traffic, though. There's Supporters staring from a distance, some wandering closer once they recognize who it is, it seems. Fu recognizes Gris among them. He approaches Riyo right away after peering over Eishia’s shoulder, asking her things like how long was it, what happened right before.

“Aren’t these…usually caused by, like…” Zanka says quietly.

“Yeah,” Riyo says quietly. “I don’t know what happened. But apparently Fu found him really late last night after one, so…whatever triggered that one is probably the same thing that triggered this one.”

“I’ll talk to him about it when he’s back to himself,” Gris says quietly.

“He won’t tell you,” Riyo says.

Gris sighs. “I know.”

At least Rudo looks as confused as Fu feels.

Eishia’s head turns to Riyo, who walks forward and kneels beside her, apparently telling her a few things about Enjin’s condition. It doesn’t seem like anything bad. Fu can see him trying to blink himself awake, not totally there but there enough to understand he’s laying on the floor.

“F’ve m’s,” Enjin mumbles, trying to get ahold of Riyo’s hand once she’s beside him. She takes it, squeezing it tight.

“Nope. Where are we?” she asks him, leaning right over his face so that she’s all he sees.

Enjin groans. His eyes drift around, squinting for a few seconds before he decides an answer. “Gar’ge.”

“Correct! And, what’s today?” she asks.

“M’nd’y,” he manages, a hand drifting up to his face and rubbing at his forehead.

“Good! And, who’s not supposed to lift anything for one more week?”

“Z’nka,” he answers.

“Ding ding!”

“Why ‘m I always the butt of your jokes?” Zanka grumbles, inching a little closer to Enjin with Rudo close behind him.

“G'me five min's,” Enjin groans, his eyes now focused on Riyo.

She shakes her head. “No way, big guy.”

“I c'n drive af'der five min's,” he insists with a whine.

“Nope, you can't.”

Enjin groans.

“Such a bad example, you know?” she teases, ruffling his hair. “Lay here for a few minutes and then we're moving ya’.”

Fu is glad he's okay. This could have gone really differently. He's glad that this time, everything seemed to work out in his favor - he didn't make any mistakes.

“Thanks for your help,” Riyo says, appearing next to him suddenly. Fu's eyes are as wide as they've ever been, surprised by her presence, but she's kind of smiling normally. He thinks. “Glad you can follow directions.”

Fu nods fervently. “I'm…glad I could help!”

Made yourself useful. Didn't think that was possible.