Oh, It’s A Migraine!

They should have put the séance in 3.1 It’s the Loustat show. The fans love Loustat, the writers (allegedly) love Loustat. S2 ended on Loustat reunion and them connecting over their grief for Claudia. The viewer wants to know what’s happening next.

Open w long face if u must. Establish the rock star lifestyle, the bus, Daniel Malloy’s doc. (We cut the failures business bc it’s too confusing and gives Lestat’s pov too much power. as as nice as that opening scene is not Worth it.) Use doc vs real world like previous seasons. Cut that dee showering bit and make Alex take the shower instead. Louis and Lestat r not talking, cut to Montreal Halloween band creation flashback. Lestat’s mad about the book w/e. Cut any and all mention of the train scene I’m serious!!! Cut Black Licorice and any future unfunny associated jokes at Louis and that person from the 9th ward’s expense.

1/3 way thru 3.1 LOUIS texts Lestat (he’s been ignoring Louis’ texts but he’s bad at that and he keeps rereading that book and thinking about Claudia) about Merrick Séance idea. Merrick and Louis r good judies like in the books. Louis has a Black woman friend from New Orleans pleaseeeee this could heal him!!!! Lestat agrees to seance bc he misses his wife and daughter.

Let’s assume Lestat being completely uninterested in her diaries per the show is because he’s insane. We can say they skip normal grieving parent activities because they r nuts and skip right to the seance.

Rewrite séance. Cut the egregiously racist dialogue that doesn’t make sense. Give Claudia more time to shit on lestat, have her criticize him to his face for being a racist white dad (he sat in the front of the streetcar while his family sat in the back and most certainly went to whites only places w Antoinette. Shame him for his participation in the trial.

Instead of having “what about what you should be thanking me for” (he wouldn’t say it like that even if he believes it) Louis should start begging. Like “I’m sorry Claudia I’m gonna kill Bruce I promise” and she can scorn him for that. And for being easy 2 manipulate. She can say she thought about killing him instead. She can have a yell at Louis #myclaudia gets whatever she wants.

After seance. Louis breaks it off w Lestat bc it’s what Claudia would have wanted and Lestat loses his damn mind. he can crashout and need his mama enter stage Gabrielle. Big end of episode ruveal.

The vampires being mad at and wanting 2 kill Lestat can happen in e2. Cut some of the Modern Lestat Gabrielle boringness w a vamp fight outside of the stripclub and show Lestat and his mommy kicking ass together. There is no need to invite The Vampire Sam into the fray.

Season proceeds as usual. Louis can still kill Bruce and it’s particularly grim n hollow bc Claudia has expressed that she’s tired of men reading her diaries. Let’s also kill The Vampire Sam! Have Lestat do it for symmetry also so there is less of a weird (racist) thing regarding Louis being The Muscle. Cut the cop scene on the bus. Show Nicki’s death and Nickistat sex scene. Make Gabrielle trans and show her cutting her hair!!!! And freaking when it grows back. Regina arc still occurs bc now Louis thinks Claudia’s spirit is following him.

Louis and lestat should (unfortunately) spend most of TVL apart to adapt the Vampire Loneliness Book. Less quips, more thinking about Evil and how this might contribute to the loneliness. Louis and Lestat should reconnect over Regina in E5.

E6 should still be a Loustat episode. Wake up in same coffin (regretfully perhaps?) Bring Louis to a concert, have a serious convo about race(!!!!!!), have them do fun stuff or have conversations that genuinely endears us! Vampire equinox was not funny enough!!! Rewrite!!!! Keep Gabrielle ruveal, Louis’ reaction. They can process it on the bench together then move on to discussion of a TRAILER (not a trailer park jfc Louis and lestat would NOT live in community with other trailer owners what in the goddamn hell are you talking about??) in the middle of nowhere could be nice.

Re: Louis’ head. imo it's a horror show!!! heads cut off could have been done tastefully but the unevenness of Louis’ head vs Lestat’s head was BIZARRE! they blew the budget torturing Jacob anderson's visage with prosthetics and cgi leaving 0$ to BOWL LESTAT'S HEAD!! u know. like it was foreshadowed in the credits. and throughout whole season. and he was in the BOWLING BALL CASE!!!

the head Louis Armand confrontation (if they r committed to it) could have gone differently and less racist imo #1. no language of experimentation. this is the United States of America and someone in the writers room should have said something like didnt yall go to college? Take a single history class jfc. No Fareed no livestream not necessary

#2. instead of having Louis' head on a skewer in a gross dissection tray (cheap in a way Armand isn’t + head on pike imagery has racial context in USA) I would have had Armand build like an elaborate machine body. head in a tank, no neck wound exposed w/ blood tubes connecting to head. rainbow lights very rocky horror and then have Armand be like 'don't worry it's perfectly safe I use it myself if I need time away from my body' which. (supports my SZA ghost in the machine Loumand edit but offtopic ) and it could have been a Frank (tho yes, kidnapped) discussion about their Failmarriage. Ideally Louis would be immobilized and in need of rescue w/o being graphically tortured and the Head Acting given dignity. (Crucially, Lestat’s head acting should have no dignity) . Give her the damsel in distress treatment and build me a beautiful Frankenstein looking machine!!!

(But less dead lady more Jacob andersons beautiful face. The viewer should marvel at how beautiful Louis looks in his robot tank, how the rainbow light beepboop flatter him. It should look like a high budget America’s next top model challenge.

keep much of the same dialogue. or at least some lol. I don't think Louis should have been made 2 apologize again but I am interested in a loumand post divorce honest convo. I liked the Regina Ruveal | like Armand playing the long game when slighted. and I think having Armand use Louis' restaurant’s weird teacup blood spout thing to feed Louis. a nonlethal amount of Regina's blood would upset louis greatly. enough to get him to participate in the Divorce dialogue Armand apparently craves

then Daniel could have brought Lestat's head in (post bowling it which btw should have been just the most expensive gruesome egregious shot in the whole show btw) (imagine Sam Reid doing Charlie hereditary gory severed head acting he would crush it! just as JA did but at what cost???)

but anyway Daniel brings Lestat's head back. Armand can put Lestat's head on the pike. Supervillain monologue a bit, get into the bitey Lesmand of it all. Have Armand hit Lestat w/ with the old “ a century I have waited and still you don't want me” then idk action shenanigans. Loustat gets their heads back on their bodies and escapes!!!