all your moving parts

Reminds me that the other day I saw a post with lots of comments about how there are no straight men who would befriend a woman if he wasn’t attracted to her. I give men the detriment of the belief all the time but even I think that’s a little much and can’t possibly be true

Ok the one benefit to being really quite fat and also kind of hostile looking face wise in my twenties is that I received basically zero sexual attention from men. I actually HATE that the random men I come across in life might treat me nicer as I lose weight and it’s something I fear because it’s creepy and invasive and misogynistic

Like I said. Inpatient was the most successful I’ve socially been in a while 😐

Most likely hanging out with a new friend this weekend yay but also I’m nervous that I’ll act weird because I’m having a hard time with uhhh thinking and talking at points and when I told Kristan this she looked at me and said. You guys met in inpatient. It’ll be fine

What is the perfume I’m smelling practically everywhere for the past year…. It’s rose and peppercorn I’m 99% sure. Maybe a wood note in there, too. I’m sure it’s a designer perfume with knock offs as well but I’m out of the perfume loop

I need a smoke

Sometimes being female feels like a constant humiliation ritual 🤗

Really horribly disappointing to not be able to wear all of the lovely tops and dresses I got that I was so sure would fit after surgery :( and some of the problem isn’t even from the weight gain it is that my breasts are once again simply too big for a lot of stuff. And they’re not that big compared to other women my size I’m pretty sure. Ugh it makes me feel so over sexualized and exposed and gross

Apparently some psych meds including Prozac can cause breast growth and if that happened to me well it’s yet another reason the reduction more or less failed. I’ll never know for sure but uhh yeah if that contributed. I’ll never know. But I would be so upset