note: adam is the drill director, cole is the music director, jon is the pt instructer, carly is drum major :)
theres lots of swearing, sex jokes and crude humor, read at your on risk.
"ref femington" "f remington?"
"do u think mr gessel is here" "mr gaslight??"
"carly ur killing it as drum slayjer"
"i come from a drum major growing farm" "did you grow on a tree" "i did"
"i am going to get humoungus shoulder bones"
"why are tou fingering my trumpet"
"do what i say not as i mean" "waot no"
"brain brain brain brain says yes i can okay"
"i got a dimple bc i got hit by a truck"
"blessinfs of the flying spagetri monster"
"nate was like i talked to Micheal after we stopped being friends bc he didnt choose jazz"
"by the double doors-" "dumbledore??"
"where the fuck did my phon-" "WOAH THERE." "on the stage?" "watch ur fuxking mouth"
"grant cant be rushing the trumpets to the field while toris takin a smoke break"
"colby does my music inside my bell look sexy" "hot"
"was bernie sanders in dci"
"do as i mean not as i say"
"if you summon a demon you must make thrm a sandwich" "im wanna be a demon so people make me sandwiches"
"EAT FOOD OR I WILL SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT ANYWAYS"
/uh/ "tqkes me back" "wHAT" "STORYTIME?!"
"in the beginning, there was cole lobdell"
"are we not allowed to have fun" "AbsoLuT lY nOt"
*nods to george laying dead on the ground* "he does that a lot, doesnt he?" *nods*
"mellos stop showing off"
"stab wm like oj" "alledegy"
"are you dancing to the abulance siren-"
"you guys are starting to sound like a decent mb" "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
*look9ng at uneven lines* "those lines are straighter then me"
"was that dupposed to be british sxottish or Australian?" "good question"
"theyre both boring" "exCusE mE dId yOu jUst dIreSpEct oUr nAtIonAl aNtHem"
"we need to slay harder" ".. yes that"
"why do drugs when sprinkles"
"i hope that you achieve your wildest dreams neighbor"
"jon is mean sometimes neighbor" "jon is really a terrible person neighbkr"
*cries in hardware store*
"i want to kiss a woman" /whispering/ "yea"
"you cant be late if adam isnt out here before you are" "that is a correct statement"
"aAron" "what" "shut up" "no i will die on thr british hill"
"oh poppycock its the razzers"
"wer we gonna slat the whole way" "mercilessly slaighter"
"slay target queen adam" "target princess"
"forkcus- oo forkus- FOCUS"
"/chucks shoes across the field to show a better demo/"
"you better slay bitches"
"can we talk for a minute abt the strange journey of the word dope-"
"we should build a wall and make jazz 1 pay for it"
"im gonna need an algebraic expression for ur straightness"
"the queen is being reincarnated as trisha payatas kid"
"i am sorry for bringing the vibe down"
"wait yOU ARENT STRAIGHT?"
"is that gonna be a slack channel-"
"bring the beat in" "ANYTHING FOR YOU BEYONCÉ"
"we are taking the hypetrain to slaytown"
"phillip the metranome boi"
/addy with a sousa/ "colby do you think it fits me?" *aggressively shakes head no*
*aggressively yell counts* "how do you guys FEEL"
"do you like men or do you like women" "yes. /silence/ wAIT-"
"#do not drag #slay #swag"
"im sure its important info but youre hearing THE SOURCE"
"im sorry i neglected you" "remember when cole neglected us? pfft. loser."
"shes giving dead but shell alwats serve; june, probably"
"and without further adue the hmb present the national anthem" "from memory" "from memory" "with skyrim"
"that is not a joke it is just straight facts"
"did you feel good abt listening to us ballade"
"im not even white lying" "are you saying youve done that before"
"see if we shame them enough shame becomes fear"
"mom alex is being kinky"
"you are only half a woman"
"see so i have a kink for men and /blank/ has a kink for women" "it cancels out"
"see so i dont like children and i dont like sex so no more sex no more sex no more sex"
"i want to get mentally better so men can hit on me so i can get mentallt better"
"i dOnT hAvE thEm dAnG proNounS iM an AmerIcAn"
"ladies lads and non binary chads"
"oh by the way /blank/ im sexist now" "nice"
"hi im sexost" "gello felloe sexist"
"sarah i dont think ive ever heard you say smth as relatable as "im going to eat smth flr my mental health""
"a wood made of reed" /couple seconds/ "wAIT-"
"just march brass and then youll never have that problem" "respectfully no."
"not to be political or anything but honosexual... is kinda gay" "woah"
"activate yoyr slat switch"
"trumpets" /dramatic pause/ dayummmmm"
"colby do you agree that john loves balls"
"if i see another person climb a fence i will be a very sad boi"
"learning the rest of the salad'
"loop doop doopity loop doop"
"well /pause/ if the sparkplug fits"
"colby did you like my trill" "i was not... mentally prepared for it"
"wait no it was a del taco" "fre sha vac a do"
"i am not touchin yalls sweaty ass hands'
"/takes addys hand/ /knees down/ "queen? /gasp/ /sniffle/ i do" /arron plays the beginnings of careless whisper/
/in the middle of a rep/ "FUCK"
"what the absolute fuck is that every time i look over here you two are doing whatever thr goddamn fuck that is what even-"
"so like vocal ideA: snares sing the first verse of i am a gummy bear. like i think its actually a really good idea"
"that was very intimate" "uH *confused straight noises*"
"sarahs just laughing at us"
"like cockwork" "tee hee"
"remy!" "yea?" "you have been promoted to stick boi"
"START AT T OKAY ONE TWO SPILL THR TEA"
"tue ghost of george was playing a beat early"
"tenors one of yoy is coming in early" "YEAH GEORGE" /george is not there/
"adam hancock is draco malfoy" "POTTAH-"
"I LOVE FB" "MEN" "I LOVE MEN" "T E S T O S T E R O N E "
/dutdut dah daht/ "sports"
"they locked us out of the school :("
*plays careless whisper really loud and scream sings half of the lyrics over loud band noises*
*spontaneously plays half of 7 nation army with only bass line as an entire band*
"sorry me and cole have like 0 brain cells combined-"
"nobody leaves until weve falcon prided"
"ate my grandma ans call my daddy oat lawd"
"i beg of thee to pls unlock thy band room door"
"guys omg were still winning"
"imagine flirting with the drumline" "imagine not flirting with the drum line"
"bloody stumps on the yard line"
"you ever just look at drum line and are like w o a h" "are you calling me sexy" "i mean-" "I MEAN-C
"thanks queen" /over speaker/ "hashtag slay"
"yo team that was hashtag slay"
"are they really homies if you dont kiss rgem goodnight"
"if you do that i will be sad boi hours"
"see im supposed to give all my organs to carly but you can have my balls"
"shhhh i like phillips legs"
"where did stick boi go he forgor his stic"
"not only will i go against your wishes i will go thr complete opposite direction"
"talk less!" "...smile more" "dont let them know ehat your against or what your for?" "you cant be serious" "you wanna get ahead?" "yea" "fools who run their mouthes off wind up dead" "STOP QUOTING HAMILTON"
"if you dont stop i will slay you with a spear"
"I A M F I R S T" /but said like i am spartus/
"jesus christ-" "you called?"
"i have a social life during marching band"
/gasp/ "adam!" /gasp/ "aADAM"
"bro im goung on the second bus"
"WAIT IS YOUR VOCAL BAD ROMANCE WAIT"
"adams head just swung open and out popped out colby thr drum major so no he did not grow on a tree"
"oh dear the contible you must find yourself a place to hide"
"i need a will to live" "same i think theyre 23 cents at 7/11"
"ngl i didnt see that correctly and i thought colby and jon were holsing hands"
"its like a bunch of bb birds" ..kinda gross lowkey"
"you can decline but idk why you would liek honestly get ur life together"
"its a conga line" "but like an intimate conga line"
"jack you look- .. i was gonn say hot but im nkt sure if thatd allowed"
"a little curvy is okay" "a little,,, fruity,,, if you will "
"guys their show is twitter" "that is an interesting show name"
"YO THEY MADE A TRIANGLE I LOVE TRIANGLES" "personally i like potatoes"
"i think we should have a band get to tegther where tougrt kicked out if you dont make xomments on everything"
"guys at the end of the show you should light me on fire" "like in a cute way"
"cole do you feel at home in the choas kf marching band" "yea 😌"
"you ever just throw a colby in ur carly"
"ill be the colby to your carly"
"drunk driving best driving'
"work harder, not smarter"
"sax section vocab section"
"sax section smoking section" "sax section SOBER SECTION"
"sax section consenual sex section"
"mr lobdell do you want to babysit adams kids"
"cwrly whar are you doung to natilias hands" "shes gently caressing them"
"have them make it into a jif and send it to you" "its gif" "i will fight you"
"I am first" "i will slay you with a spear"
"thr whole band is in a polygamous relationship"
"we should go back to confederacy and the whole bus goes WOAHHHGG-"
/walks up/ "perry the platypus is a slut" /walks away/
/during a band performance/ /several peopl/ "CIRCLE DRILL???"
"bro look at those sexy feet theyre so in time"
"yo why is the sun on dark mode"
"i got shaken baby sydrom for real"
"i strongly suggest that all of you go sit in thr bus snd take a nap"
"that was a certified my bad"
"when i grow up i wanna have a kid and name him georg" "name him what"
"bro you just got tondID"
"heres an idea: bring edibles" "W O A H T H E E R E "
"cosmic brownies are crack cocoaine"
"anything for the good of the order?" "slay" "actually slaying is against the law"
"when she puts the 7th over the 5th uts just really heartwrenching, it is"
"two dollars for any coffee at mcdonalds were gonna get liIiiIiiTtt"
"girl is he rich thats the real question men objectify us so we should o jectify them"
"bro i slayed in 78 better then anyone slayed in 84"
"flip phone is the new asians"
"we should kiss" /silence/ "no response?"
"she made fun of dom- which is respectable but-"
"i think i would understand you better if you were speaking spanish" "you would understand me if i was a lesbian"
"stab it like ceaser" "allegedly"
"adam can we go fraterinize with the other tubas"
"DO IT AND ILL LEAK THE OLD SPICE"
"sex more like cringe stay virgin boys"
"do you like meaty balls" "OH YEAH"
"SHUT UP GIANNA NO ONE ASKED YOU"
"you look like kurt coban if kurt coban was logan"
"its cold but its like crisp.... newbury"
"i just sucked up all of laurens diseases- do you have aids?"
"yo wheres the candy id like to accept candy from strangers"
"im gonna go home and- make out with my mom"
"sax section jiggity section"
"so we like draft people for mb-"
"step one: kindly ask them to stop. step two: curse at them. step three-" "hold on can we go back to step 2 i like step 2-"
"mason how do you like your men" "logan" /blows kiss/
"im cold" "hi cold im logan"
"and you all slay with logan"
"ash stop gently caressing me with a leaf"
"now you have a little leaf hat :D" -tori
"what does period blood taste like like would it taste different"
"sax section make out section"
"sax section sex saxtion"
"STICK BOI WHERE ARE OUR STICKS"
"i got out cuz i wanted to kiss grant"
"we should go get milk ans then we should go to lexs house and make out"
"im sorry i spaced out and heard sneaking out and doung drugs"
"no mom i swear im not sneaking out and doing drugs im going to a jazz festival"
"if that does not work, Joshua quintana's feet would be a suitable replacement"
"sax section toris section"
"max" "doo do do doo do doooo" "jUsT sAY hERe"
"what was discontinued?" "ur mom" "OOOOHHHHHHH"
"when you tell someone ur having a baby ur badically telling them IM HAVINF SWX EVERY DAY" "im sorry what"
"what are yoy high on" "ur mom" "you look like someone whod be high on their mom"
"sax section sleepover section"
"sax section geocash section"
"idk maybe i have foodborne illness disease on my hands" "that sentence made 0 sense"
"color gaurd obama be like lemme be gear"
"attendence obama: let ne be here'
"gay obama: let me be queer"
"ur literally just making out with her leg"
"sax section cuddle section"
"bAcK in My dAy we dIdNit nOne oF thEm daGnAb PrnoUns"
"ill give you both 5 bucks if you kiss rn"
"we might not be thr bret band vut we will always be the most radioactive band"
"yknow with all the singing you guys do during marching band youd think youd be better at it-"
"mr lobdell really said i support the gays"
"have you seen logan shirtless hes a mermaid"
"what is up my original gangster"
"the hdmi is powered by love"
"check that you are connected to the correct wifi w t f mates"
"POW right in the kisser"
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