Welcome to hell!!!!!!

popping in to say that for the past 6 months I’ve used this post as an indicator of when to check the news because it spikes in notes every time there is a major world event

Slight adjustment to this... Apparently the virus scrapes all your passwords and files on your computer, not just Discord... It just uses Discord to gain access... Friend had a picture of his license saved on his computer, and apparently the scammers even got their hands on that... So it's a nasty little hack...

you eat me and i perfectly dodge all of your digestive enzymes and stomach acid and i sprint out your asshole fully intact

Every time I see my mutuals post in their native tongue that I don't understand I'm like yes 🥰 that's language babes 💖

고추

hehe i said penis

My cat is being oh so meanies to me but I can't take her seriously because everytime she opens her mouth to yell at me she becomes a stapler remover

Obsessed with going "No... i shan't say..." when it's very clear what I shan't say

it should be a law that if it’s raining and you wake up feeling comfy in bed you shouldn’t have to answer to any of your obligations

a customer just came in and ordered a flat white with six (6) shots in it. for clarity thats like.. a full cup of espresso with maybe an inch of milk sitting on top. this mf is trying to meet the hat man

same guy came back yesterday. same order. i said, "ah, entering the shadowlands again, i see." he asked me to explain this remark to him. i did so to the best of my ability. he returned again today and said, "i'll have another shadowlands please, extra hot." think i might have started something

“Hi, I’m auditioning for Macbeth and I’ll be singing “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King’.”

eheheheheheeheheheheheh

not to give pirates of the caribbean too much credit but it really is the only major franchise Ive seen that was able to pull off the “historical and mythical exist at the same time” with any sort of success

#like how on land theyre in history but on sea theyre in mythology really communicates the wonder and love the #pirates have for the sea so much better than long soliloquies or good cinematography #and then the meta narrative is constantly indicating that the spread of empire and greed for money is driving it away #man……………………………………………………………….. (@liridi)

Building on this its so funny how everyone has a globe but the moment the pirates hit the seas they sail off of the end of the (flat) world. its all in the details etc etc

You get on the bus and then everyone does the Flintstones thing

GRADE SCHOOL SJWS stop using social justice language to explain shit to your conservative parents IT’S NOT GONNA GO THROUGH now all they have are some new words to make fun of. don’t tell your mom she’s being fatphobic tell her she’s being a dick