the last sexy person in america

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

If you remember being a teenager you're a creep because you straight up saw yourself naked back then. The only way to be righteous is to obliterate your mind with drugs until you can't remember anything

LETS LET FRIDAY GET US PREGNANT

I think one of the gentlest things in the world is when a friend just gets your weird little brain. like you say half a sentence and they finish it. you reference something incredibly niche from seven years ago and they’re already nodding. they understand your strange vocabulary for emotions that don’t have real words yet. it’s being seen and known and still loved. maybe especially because you’re known. god. what a gift.

I wish it was rudy time all the time

When i was 13 i decided to become penpals with the surviving members of the heavens gate cult who were still maintaining their email/website/book sales and they responded to me a couple of times before my mom found out and i genuinely couldnt fathom why she would be upset with me

i'm sorry i didn't respond to your DM for 23 days. the number on the notification icon got really big and i began having irrational anxious thoughts such as "what if people are in there trying to contact me"

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

imagine if public transit ran 24/7........ in my beautiful world

see unfortunately I have this condition where if I am not explicitly told that I am a part of the ingroup then I will assume I must be part of the outgroup

People who had kids on purpose really will come home from work after the worst day ever like "there better not be any fucking kids in here."