the last sexy person in america

the thing about growing up with siblings in an abusive household is that ultimately you're each other's jail wardens and whipping boys and that does things to you no matter how much you sincerely love each other and understand why it happened the way it did and wish you could have been big and strong enough to save both of you

it's just inevitably going to be difficult to reconcile the love you feel for the other half of a bear trap clamped around both your legs. is the thing.

tumblr mutuals love getting into the most random esoteric media possible and talking about it in modern fandom parlance they’ll be like “omg guys i’m so obsessed with dagny her relationship with hildr is so doomed yuri ugh they would do numbers on here” then you look it up and they’re talking about an obscure scandinavian folktale that’s only available in the original old norwegian

long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

milord the peasants are nailing erotic artwork of you and your court jester to the church doors again

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

you know what’s crazy is there’s no way dunk asked to wear lyonel’s antler crown. he’s not exactly the height of propriety but even he knows that’s a step too far, and besides the idea would never cross his mind. no. lyonel probably noticed dunk glancing at it now and again and saw this man that’s somehow huge and strong but also walks on shaky legs and tries to blend in with his surroundings, deerlike, and thought i can’t die before ever seeing this fawn wear my crown

its awesome that neither mind reading nor god are real and all of the thoughts inside of your head are completely private and consequenceless forever #myprivacy

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

”all language is approximation” believers when my autistic ass finally weaves together the exact right linguistic phrase that conveys pure information and shatters qualia as we know it

Belgian Malinois

Very aware that I’m weird & a little strange

what they don’t tell you about being stuck between a rock and a hard place is that you get some nice bruises you can press on for catharsis

are they screaming my wig like the my leg guy from spongebob