the last sexy person in america

tried shifting to a timeline where the ussr won the cold war & within minutes a team of cia telecommandos subdued my astral body & removed my ability to imagine or dream

rb to bonk prev with an empty paper towel roll

sad news, my son Crispin Shopify III saw a picture of me when i was breastfeeding him as a baby. the psychiatrists all agreed that exposure to this act which is potentially incestuous and sexual was equivalent to infinite permanent sexual trauma, and so we've decided to euthanize him and just start again from the beginning. hopefully i wont fuck it up again this time. god bless.

Blue jay (Cyanocitta cristata)

it’s always summer v winter bitches fighting for their life, where are the spring/autumn girlies, the moderate temperatures crowd, the transition period aficionados, the ‘sun is shining but the wind’s cold’ connoisseurs, the ‘decay and rebirth of nature’ devotees

downright hampiric

neoclassicvagina surgery. they add columns and whatnot

this is all being filtered through my lens btw.

labubu was meant to be hanging off a kindergartners backpack filthy as fuck with no eyes left

when you're at the humiliation ritual competition and then niall kennedy shows up and invites the guy he frequented chemsex parties with, the girl he went to college with who he kept asking for money to pay off his fuck ups in adulthood, the ex who he got pregnant and cheated on a bunch of times, to his wedding with the guy his brother beat half to death and put in coma in college, and then said brother shows up at said wedding so they can kill each other

studying history is like. here's to another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be. thank you women who fight for abortion and contraception and independance from men for another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be