For @tevivinter, @lasatfat and @dadrunkwriting
Elgaris 'Elegy' Ingellvar x Lucanis Dellamorte, (SFW, Pining, First date, first kiss) 1651 words.
---------------------------------------
Itβs not that Elgaris is ashamed of their body. Not anymore. You donβt put that much work into decorating something you donβt care about. Elgarisβs body is a tapestry of careful and purposeful scars artfully recreating the skeletal structure beneath skin, fat, and muscle, a few accidental scars that tell the story of what the battles and close calls they have survived, and the twin pink lines beneath each pectoral- their proudest and hardest earned- the battle for peace in their own body and to live as their most authentic self.
It's still a little surreal, still sometimes finds them lingering a moment longer than necessary in front of the full-length mirror after stepping out of the bath, eyes following the trail of water drops as they slide down their flat chest to their belly. But finally, for the first time in their life everyone else can see the person they always knew was inside. And if they donβt like what they see? Elgaris is secure enough not to be bothered by it.
This, thoughβ¦ itβs different.
Lucanis sees them. Of course he does. He always has, but tonightβ¦
Elgaris can feel their heart hammering against their ribs as they slowly make their way down the hall from their quarters to the library and main living space. They take a slow, trembling breath, steadying themselves, then another. They focus on the cool stone beneath their feet with each step, a soft smile playing at the corners of their mouth as their dress swishes about them, the faintest whisper of the silks with each step.
βHoly crap,β Taash gapes as Elgaris steps out onto the terrace, eyes wide as they take in their new attire. βLucanis seen that yet,β the qunari asks. Elgaris shakes their head, a gentle blush coloring the tips of their ears where they poke out from beneath their tight blonde spirals which free from any immediate concerns of conflict or work for them to interfere with, arenβt pulled back into their usual ponytail, but instead, hang loosely framing their face and ticking bare shoulders, a simple braid pulling back those few stubborn shorter pieces that would otherwise fall into their eyes.
βOmigosh, Rook, you look so pretty,β Lace exclaims excitedly as she makes her way to the top of the stairs.
βYeah,β Taash agrees awkwardly. Clearly no better at compliments when the feelings are strickly platonic than they seem to be in what Elgaris has observed lately between them and their dwarven companion, though Lace doesn't seem too troubled by it.
βThank you,β Elgaris smiles softly, the blush creeping up into their cheeks now, ducking their gaze shyly to their feet and the small, intricately embroidered flowers that adorn the dress- chrysanthemums, poppies, marigolds, dahlias, lilacs, carnations, lilies, roses, forget-me-nots, orchids, and tulips. Delicate, colorful reminders of the fragility and fleeting nature of life, and immortality and legacy of memory. It is a far cry from their Mourn Watcher robes they have continued to wear even after so long away from the Necropolis, and yet their origin and home is handstitched together into every inch of the fabric here too. βYou- you donβt think itβs too much,β the elf asks, a little uncertainly.
βNo way,β Lace grins, shaking her head. βYou look lovely. Iβm glad you bought it. You deserve to feel pretty, to take a moment for yourself. Weβve been doing nothing but running ever since the ritual, you especially.β
βYeah, this is gonna give Lucanis a heart attack,β Taash add with a chuckle. βI mean, in a good way,β they add with a shrug when Lace looks up at them.
βGo get βem kid,β Varric chuckles softly, leaning against the wall to the infirmary with a fond grin. βTheyβre right, you deserve to have something for yourself and a little happiness in all this mess.β Elgaris nods, nerves soothed a little by their companionβs reassurances as they say their goodnights and make their way across the courtyard to find Lucanis.
βRook, I thought it was my turn to cook, why is Bellara-β Lucanis says as the elf opens the door to the kitchen and dining area, before the assassin turns to face them and all words seem to leave him, the silence broken only by Bellaraβs soft giggles.
βI asked her to,β Elgaris smiles, quietly thrilled with the way his eyes canβt seem to decide quite where to look, but havenβt once left them since they arrived. βI thought perhaps you and I might go out for the night,β the elf says softly. βHave dinner at CafΓ© Pierta and maybe wander the markets together afterwards,β they suggest hopefully. βUnless youβd rather stay in,β Elgaris adds after a moment when Lucanis still hasnβt said anything.
βNo,β Lucanis replies quickly shaking his head, taking several stumbling steps forward to close the gap between them, the slightest distortion, a chorus of his own voice and Spiteβs as they answer them bringing another soft smile to the elfβs face as she watches him. βNo,β he repeats as he stops in front of them, dragging his gaze back up from the low plunge of their dress that highlights the skeletal patterned scars over their clavicle, sternum, and ribs to meet their large violet eyes, sparkling with hope, tenderness, and an inescapable partiality that makes Lucanisβs stomach do flips. βA night out with you soundsβ¦ perfect,β Lucanis confesses softly with a smile that makes Elgaris feel weak at the knees.
βMeirda,β Lucanis whispers softly, shaking his head softly, still not breaking eye contact with them. βShould I go change? I feel like I should go change. Iβm not sure I have anything here thatβs-β the assassin mutters softly.
βLucanis,β Elgaris interrupts softly, one of their small hands reaching out to clasp his own and offering it a reassuring squeeze. βYou look fine,β they reassure him with a fond and patient smile, βhandsome as ever.β
βYes, but you look...β Lucanis starts to protest, barely registering the compliment in his urgency to somehow prove himself worthy of their company, βlike you stepped out of a dream,β the assassin breathes before Elgaris can say anything more, causing the elf to blush furiously.
βOh,β Elgaris manages softly, briefly registering a stifled, gleeful squeal from behind Bellaraβs hand clamped tight over her mouth as she is clearly doing her best trying to pretend to be busy with the dinner preparations for the rest of their companions during this exchange, rather than the reality, which is that the elf is likely taking meticulous notes for their next attempt at a romance serial. βDo you dream of me often,β the elf replies, before immediately kicking themselves for not thinking before opening their mouth. Why in the Fade did they say that?
βYES,β Spite answers before Lucanis can reply or protest, causing the assassin to wince a little in a way that makes the answer clear even to Bellara who doesnβt have the luxury Elgaris does as a skilled Mourn Watcher of being able to hear Spite. Elgaris, at least, has the good grace not to laugh at his expense.
βNever anything as good as this though,β Lucanis says softly, looking down to where their hands still clasp his own with a small smile, his thumb gently rubbing the back of their hand. βShall we? If youβre sure Iβm dressed well enough to be seen with you,β Lucanis says, gesturing towards the door. Elgaris nods, still smiling, still holding his hand as they make their way to the Eluvian that will bear them on to Treviso.
βIβm relatively certain weβre awake,β Elgaris says softly with a smile as they take their seats at the cafΓ© a short while later.
βOh? Because of the coffee,β Lucanis asks, taking another slow and grateful sip from his cup. Elgaris waits for him to swallow and set the cup back down on the table before answering with a mischievous smile, emboldened by their date and the way heβs scarcely been able to take his eyes off them since they walked into the dining hall.
βBecause in my dreams, weβre usually kissing,β Elgaris whispers. Lucanis inhales sharply, eyes snapping open, pupils blown wide as he stares back at them.
βRook- Elegy, I-β Lucanis replies hoarsely, momentarily glancing out towards the canals, looking embarrassed.
βNO,β Spite interrupts. βROOK OPENS DOORS. STOP CLOSING THEM.β
Elgaris does their best to suppress a smile at the spirit scolding the assassinβs hesitation and self-doubts.
βIβm sorry I ran off,β Lucanis whispers softly, still looking slightly shamed despite his spiritβs dressing down and the elfβs patience.
βItβs alright,β Elgaris replies gently. Of course, it had confused them. Frustrated them. To have come so very close to what the pair of them had seemed to be dancing around for so long, to what Elgaris had scarcely allowed themselves to dream they might have, let alone to find it amid all this. But hearing him speak with some of their other companions, talking to Spite when they had freed them both from the prison of his own mind, theyβve come to understand it. That he might be as unsure, as anxious about irrevocably ruining things between them and losing them as Elgaris is, maybe even more so. The fear lingers, even now. But the hope, the pull around their heart in his direction is stronger. βStay with me now,β the elf asks hopefully, mindful of their cups as they reach across the table to clasp his hand in theirs as his eyes lift back up to meet theirs.
βI canβt begin to imagine what you see in me,β Lucanis admits shaking his head softly, βbut I pray you never stop seeing it.β
βNever,β Elgaris promises fondly, a brilliant smile taking over their face as Lucanis stands and rounds the table, still holding their hand and gently tugging them up to their feet, before pulling them into his arms for a soft, tender kiss.
