To things not getting any better!

Shostakovich: Threat to Life as we Know it?

NASA JPL has not classified Shostakovich as potentially hazardous. This is because Shostakovich is currently orbiting the Sun at a far distance from Earth's orbit. This is good news. Why? This next Fact might Surprise You:

The Absolute Size of Shostakovich

Shostakovich is very wide. How wide? Well, Shostakovich has a diameter of around 16.5km, rivalling the size of Philadelphia. This is Huge. In fact, Shostakovich is larger than the 99%! Would that make him part of the 1%, you might ask? The degenerate bourgeois????? NO!!!!!! Shostakovich CANNOT make money. Shostakovich is LITERALLY INCAPABLE of making money. Are you stupid? No

Hypothetical Shostakovich Mass Extinction Event?

If Shostakovich collided with the Earth's stratosferu, it would literally end life as we know it. Considering the absolute size of this legend, Shostakovich would likely barely even burn up in the atmosphere. Allegedly, Galileo Galilei took major concern to this. His contemporary at the time was no more stupid than he was, but he could not speak, for he had a family. Of course, it depends on what Shostakovich's body was really made of, and if Shostakovich was made for fighting like that. We'd be able to find out if we could visit Shostakovich, but I've been told this is apparently "impossible". Why? Why?

Shostakovich: There's more to explore here.

Every day the Yuri fandom asks: Did Yuri ever visit Shostakovich? Well, unfortunately, The NHATS study has categorised Shostakovich as unviable for human exploration, which is a damn shame if you ask me. I'd love to be able to see Shostakovich with my own two eyes! I'd love to explore Shostakovich. Some days I lay awake at night wondering just how incredible it would feel to explore the surface of Shostakovich... wouldn't that be such a dream? But people tell me I need to man up and get a real job. I can't help it, I just can't stop daydreaming about such a glorious and exciting feat. I don't know... the thought eats away at me in the darkest corners of my mind. I will never be able to know what it's like to be on top of Shostakovich. I suppose it's all just a distant dream...

Shostakovich was discovered by a woman

That's right! Shostakovich was once discovered by a female astrophysicist! This changed everything in Soviet History as we know it. Finally!

Her name was Lyudmila Ivanivna Chernykh, and she was a prolific discoverer of minor planets. She was a Ukrainian-Russian-Soviet astronomer, who discovered a stunningly impressive amount of minor planets. She discovered Shostakovich in 1976; originally named 1976 YQ2, she gave asteroid 2669 the name "Shostakovich" after a historical figure. But which one? This Next One Will Surprise You

Shostakovich: What Does The Name Mean? This Next One Will Surprise You

Contrary to popular belief, this asteroid was not in fact named after prolific astrophysicist Nina Shostakovich, but rather her husband named Dmitri! This Dmitri was apparently a prolific composer of obscure piano quartets and other classical musics. I know it's probalby because I do'nt listen to classical music besizes the work of Khrennikov but idk i never heard of this guy

The rotation of Shostakovich has been observed.

Shostakovich completes a rotation on its axis every 4.91 hours.

Orbital Elements of Shostakovich

Epoch: 2460200.5 JD Semi-major axis: 2.778 AU Eccentricity: 0.2203 Inclination: 7.79° Longitude of Ascending Node: 292.35° Argument of Periapsis: 95.37° Mean Anomaly: 70.01°

Further Reading:

I hope you share my joy in glorious asteroid 😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛