Davi Gnomes

He killed anywhere from two to twelve of the people who wanted to lynch him and wounded up to twenty-six other members of the lynch mob. That year, eighty-four Black people had been lynched in the state (Mississippi) he lived in.

Dazed while trying to piece together the series of bizarre yet deeply vivid images, the entire nation reportedly awoke Monday from a strange dream in which it had been watching soccer. “I wasn’t just willingly viewing it, I actually cared who won, and I was tuning in right here in the United States instead of watching it in Europe or someplace like that,” said 27-year-old Philadelphia resident Erika Sloan, one of the 340 million bewildered Americans who were kneading their foreheads in an attempt to recall the almost lifelike scenes in which they knew when Cape Verde was playing and had an opinion on whether a player was offside.

The nonprofit’s set to receive a donation of 21 tons of tubers this weekend from suppliers in the Midwest. Hoping to get the starchy vegetables to people in need, the nonprofit will host a “Potato Palooza” event on Monday in Park Hill. “Anyone is welcome to come. They can bring tote bags, wagons, you could back up your pickup truck if you wanted to,” Hissong said. The event is 9 a.m. to noon at the Park Hill Food Recovery Hub, 6090 East 39th Avenue, on July 27.

This is the dream

People near Denver, Colorado.

Potato alert. Potato alert.

Free food. Unlimited free potatoes.

Potato alert.

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Beyoncé, P!nk and Britney Spears appearing in Pepsi's Gladiator inspired commercial (2004)